First time in love. Confused.
I'm 19 years old and I have been a shut in for the majority of the last 10 years of my life, I would only go outside if I had to. School etc even though I missed nearly 2 years of school due to illness and when I did go I was a mute. I used to be heavily addicted to computer games and now that I look back at it I was depressed. I only had 2-3 friends that I would see occasionally and couldn't talk to strangers, especially girls.
My life changed recently when I decided to start going out more. I took the friends I had and extended my social group. It was hard but I started making more friends and opening up a little even though I was sill awkward as f... I started getting into psychedelics, magic mushrooms and LSD and they changed my thinking drastically.
I've been gradually opening up and making new friends, I made my first female friend a few months ago but we never connected until recently. She's become a close part of our social group and we usually hang out at her house. I never saw her as someone I would fall in love with, we have vast differences but are also very similar in other ways. Recently I've only been hanging out with her at social events, and we've gotten a lot closer, she would occasionally flirt with me by winking at me etc, and would trust me with things she wouldn't let others, for example, we go into the bathroom together to smoke weed as she's shy about smoking in front of others. My view of her as just a friend changed when we took MDMA for the first time. During that time I was relaxing on the sofa listening to music when she layed down next to me and we continued to cuddle for a few hours, and even the day after we continued to cuddle on the MDMA comedown (which makes you feel like ****)
Now the issue is that she's in an on and off relationship with one of my best friends of 10 years, they've broken up before since he didn't want a serious relationship, but from what I've heard, they're back on a casual relationship but are not very vocal about it. Since I'm all new to this I'm extremely confused. I have feelings for her but I don't actually want to get any closer with her because I don't want to complicate things with my friend/her boyfriend. Even if they where to break up I don't think it would be a good idea to go any further as I feel like it would disrespect him but I still can't help my feelings for her.
This might not seem like a big deal for most people but for me it is since I have not even held hands/cuddled with a girl before, let alone kiss or have sex. Until recently I never even had a female friend. I know I'm probably being irrational but that's why I'm here asking for advice. How can I get over these feelings? I consider myself a nice guy and don't want to be a nuisance to people.
On the positive side, this has made me a little more confident and has made me get my life together. I became a vegetarian and have started working out and taking care of myself. I realized that its unhealthy to be alone and for the first time in my life I'm interested in a real relationship.
My life changed recently when I decided to start going out more. I took the friends I had and extended my social group. It was hard but I started making more friends and opening up a little even though I was sill awkward as f... I started getting into psychedelics, magic mushrooms and LSD and they changed my thinking drastically.
I've been gradually opening up and making new friends, I made my first female friend a few months ago but we never connected until recently. She's become a close part of our social group and we usually hang out at her house. I never saw her as someone I would fall in love with, we have vast differences but are also very similar in other ways. Recently I've only been hanging out with her at social events, and we've gotten a lot closer, she would occasionally flirt with me by winking at me etc, and would trust me with things she wouldn't let others, for example, we go into the bathroom together to smoke weed as she's shy about smoking in front of others. My view of her as just a friend changed when we took MDMA for the first time. During that time I was relaxing on the sofa listening to music when she layed down next to me and we continued to cuddle for a few hours, and even the day after we continued to cuddle on the MDMA comedown (which makes you feel like ****)
Now the issue is that she's in an on and off relationship with one of my best friends of 10 years, they've broken up before since he didn't want a serious relationship, but from what I've heard, they're back on a casual relationship but are not very vocal about it. Since I'm all new to this I'm extremely confused. I have feelings for her but I don't actually want to get any closer with her because I don't want to complicate things with my friend/her boyfriend. Even if they where to break up I don't think it would be a good idea to go any further as I feel like it would disrespect him but I still can't help my feelings for her.
This might not seem like a big deal for most people but for me it is since I have not even held hands/cuddled with a girl before, let alone kiss or have sex. Until recently I never even had a female friend. I know I'm probably being irrational but that's why I'm here asking for advice. How can I get over these feelings? I consider myself a nice guy and don't want to be a nuisance to people.
On the positive side, this has made me a little more confident and has made me get my life together. I became a vegetarian and have started working out and taking care of myself. I realized that its unhealthy to be alone and for the first time in my life I'm interested in a real relationship.
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Cut contact. Seriously it's the only way to get over someone you love
Original post by MrsSheldonCooper
Cut contact. Seriously it's the only way to get over someone you love
If I cut contact I would literally lose all of my friends which I definitely don't want to do, it'll just make me regress back to being a shut in.
Original post by Anonymous
If I cut contact I would literally lose all of my friends which I definitely don't want to do, it'll just make me regress back to being a shut in.
Maybe start joining societies or something to make more friends?
Spoiler
Im in the same boat as you Anon, never had a relationship in my life but now im getting close to this girl im sorting my **** out.
For the whole issue with her and your best friend, you need to consider what he would do in your situation. You can always speak to him about it, but obviously the outcome will be dependent on how he is as a guy. Just sit down with him and explain the issue, its risky but you can gauge a better understanding on where you are in this whole thing. Going back to what he would do, would he try and get with this girl if you two were going through problems? I've considered that with some close friends and i've gone for it as they would do the same.
For the whole issue with her and your best friend, you need to consider what he would do in your situation. You can always speak to him about it, but obviously the outcome will be dependent on how he is as a guy. Just sit down with him and explain the issue, its risky but you can gauge a better understanding on where you are in this whole thing. Going back to what he would do, would he try and get with this girl if you two were going through problems? I've considered that with some close friends and i've gone for it as they would do the same.
I went thru something... a bit simular,
I REAAALLY liked my mate's gf,
How did i get over it? He is one of my best mates so i had too, every time i saw her i only thought about her negative features and this slowly helped me like her less i guess
Still working on it though:P
I REAAALLY liked my mate's gf,
How did i get over it? He is one of my best mates so i had too, every time i saw her i only thought about her negative features and this slowly helped me like her less i guess
Still working on it though:P
Oh I'm surprised it seems OP passed the repping test - Anon#1 might not be a troll for once!
Original post by MrsSheldonCooper
Maybe start joining societies or something to make more friends?
Spoiler
Nah, I'm too close to my friends, I've know some of them for over 10 years now, its not like I'm going to cut them out especially with my social issues. And as for the drugs, I'm extremely grateful I got into psychedelics and MDMA, they've done nothing but expand my conciousness and get my life sorted. If it wasn't for them I may already have killed myself.
Original post by Bupdeeboowah
Oh I'm surprised it seems OP passed the repping test - Anon#1 might not be a troll for once!
I don't really know what you're talking about.
Original post by Anonymous
Nah, I'm too close to my friends, I've know some of them for over 10 years now, its not like I'm going to cut them out especially with my social issues. And as for the drugs, I'm extremely grateful I got into psychedelics and MDMA, they've done nothing but expand my conciousness and get my life sorted. If it wasn't for them I may already have killed myself.
And if you let the MDMA take over your life completely then they'll give you
•
Long-lasting brain damage affecting thought and memory
•
Damage to portions of the brain that regulate critical functions such as learning, sleep and emotion
•
Degenerated nerve branches and nerve endings
•
Depression, anxiety, memory loss
•
Kidney failure
•
Hemorrhaging
•
Psychosis
•
Cardiovascular collapse
•
Convulsions
•
Death
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by MrsSheldonCooper
And if you let the MDMA take over your life completely then they'll give you
•
Long-lasting brain damage affecting thought and memory
•
Damage to portions of the brain that regulate critical functions such as learning, sleep and emotion
•
Degenerated nerve branches and nerve endings
•
Depression, anxiety, memory loss
•
Kidney failure
•
Hemorrhaging
•
Psychosis
•
Cardiovascular collapse
•
Convulsions
•
Death
I'm well aware of the dangers of MDMA, I don't plan on doing it often. But that single experience has changed my life in a very positive way. I have access to all sorts of illicit substances but I consider myself to be responsible enough to understand what I put into my body.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm well aware of the dangers of MDMA, I don't plan on doing it often. But that single experience has changed my life in a very positive way. I have access to all sorts of illicit substances but I consider myself to be responsible enough to understand what I put into my body.
Fair enough but it wouldn't hurt if you tried joining societies at uni and made more mates?
Original post by Emily.97
Oh dear. The danger of love has cast its spell on you. Beware.
Feeling love for the first time has really complicated my life, I've never seriously been invested in anything. Previously I was alive just because, but now I feel like I have something to live for. Strange..
Original post by Anonymous
Feeling love for the first time has really complicated my life, I've never seriously been invested in anything. Previously I was alive just because, but now I feel like I have something to live for. Strange..
Oh,yes. That's certainly a phenomenal feeling. I was at my happiest when I experienced that.
Original post by MrsSheldonCooper
Maybe start joining societies or something to make more friends?
Spoiler
Original post by MrsSheldonCooper
And if you let the MDMA take over your life completely then they'll give you
•
Long-lasting brain damage affecting thought and memory
•
Damage to portions of the brain that regulate critical functions such as learning, sleep and emotion
•
Degenerated nerve branches and nerve endings
•
Depression, anxiety, memory loss
•
Kidney failure
•
Hemorrhaging
•
Psychosis
•
Cardiovascular collapse
•
Convulsions
•
Death
MDMA is statistically less dangerous than horse-riding and it's very rare to become addicted. Chances of death are pretty minuscule and are overcome by the plethora of other benefits that MDMA gives you, so shush.
Something to live for? #RIP4ABrotha
Original post by Tabstercat
You're a bell. MDMA is statistically less dangerous than horse-riding and it's very rare to become addicted. Chances of death are pretty minuscule and are overcome by the plethora of other benefits that MDMA gives you, so shush.
Erm nope I'm just going by what I've read about it.
I find it adorable how you're telling me to shush btw
Original post by MrsSheldonCooper
Erm nope I'm just going by what I've read about it.
I find it adorable how you're telling me to shush btw
I find it adorable how you're telling me to shush btw
You're going by the propaganda that schools and government funded organisations tell you. Honestly this guy tells you that drugs totally changed his mindset and possibly saved his life and your response is to discourage that? just sort it out
Original post by Tabstercat
You're going by the propaganda that schools and government funded organisations tell you. Honestly this guy tells you that drugs totally changed his mindset and possibly saved his life and your response is to discourage that? just sort it out
Read my posts, I mentioned joining societies to gain a bit more self confidence and make a bigger friend circle.
And no I don't believe in doing drugs. Your opinion on them may be completely different though
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