Adore my boyfriend, but still in love with my ex. Help? Watch

daisy_daydreams
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#1
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Okay, so I dated my ex for around a year on and off. The relationship was quite unhealthy, we argued a lot over basically everything but I really felt a lot when I was with him, it felt right. We broke up for the last time around 4 months before I started university.
When I got to uni, I met this guy, and he is literally the nicest, sweetest most innocent person I've ever met in my life, and we've now been together for nearly 3 months without a hitch. The issue is, as much as I care about him and think he's brilliant and enjoy being with him, I've never felt the same as I did with my ex - in fact, I've felt nothing that even comes close. I've never had butterflies or anything with anyone other than my ex.
Now me and my ex have been attempting to be friends (my boyfriend is aware of this and is okay with me talking to him) but in the last couple of weeks I've realised that I really still have feelings for him, and he still has feelings for me too. I've been crying A LOT about it and it's really bothering me because I want my current relationship to work and I know that if I go back to my ex I'd likely get hurt again but it's so tempting. I feel incredibly awful and guilty and stressed and I don't know what to do about it all...any help??
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silverbolt
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break up with your boyfriend.

ITs not fair on him.
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Jibola240
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Stay away from your ex?
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MaxReid
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Either you love your boyfriend or you don't. Who do you love? Be with them. You can't have both
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donutellme
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Spare this current boy the pain before you mess him up. Stop talking to your ex, or go back. But don't do it while with him.
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Goaded
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Break up with him, it's not fair.
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Darien91
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This is exactly the reason why people shouldn't be okay with your bf/gf talking to their ex.

You hurt your current bf "oh I still love my ex", go back to your ex and you will 100% end up hurt again, and be back to square 1. Then you won't have either boy
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guilbert
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Stop doing things that don't work.

You broke up with your ex for good reason and that's not going to change. As long as you carry on thinking about him (particularly if you only think about the good bits) you're going to be stuck in a cycle - you'll never be in a happy relationship with him but you can't move on either. I think that to break the cycle you need to go cold turkey and cut him out completely - delete his number, block him on social media etc. If you've moved away to go to university that will help.

That will give you a chance to make your new relationship work - of course it may not work out anyway but either way don't go back to the ex - that's not the way forward.
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Savage R3N3GAD3
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:troll2: you still love your ex so you should go back to him, you owe it to yourself to be happy and to get what you want. Clearly the new guy just isn't cutting it and you're not feeling the same thing you did with your ex but you're worried about ruining your current relationship. Yeah he's nice and you care about him but you do not love him, you love your ex, don't lie to yourself, I mean let's be real here, real talk. Who are we even kidding, you're not fooling me. You don't love him, you love your ex, you always loved your ex and he's the one that makes you smile when you find yourself thinking of him and the nice times you shared together. The new guy simply doesn't give you that spark, that passion, that feeling of effortless, genuine, real love, he's someone you care about and you enjoy being with him and he's nice and you care about him but it's not love, it's a good friendship at best. There is no passion or love. You tried to replace your ex and you jumped into a rebound relationship because you were searching for love, but you know that there's only one person you love. There's only one person who has your heart, he's the one you want. I say ditch the new guy, you've only been with him for 3 months so it's not a serious long term relationship anyway, whereas you were with the ex for a whole year and that obviously meant something, it meant a great deal, you have to think about what's really important here, don't worry about hurting the new guy's feeling or about ruining your current relationship with the new guy, you obviously love the ex and even though the relationship was unhealthy you can't deny that you still both have very strong feelings for each other, that is real love, you owe it to yourself to get back with him. You're not in love with the new guy, you're just using him to move on and he's nice to you but you're not passionate about him, it's just all wrong, it's just not working as you intended. You're trying to force this rebound relationship to work but your heart still belongs to your ex. You want your ex, it's worth the risk, even if it doesn't work out, you owe it to yourself to go back to him. Life is too short, don't miss out on something that can make you happy, chase it and don't have any regrets, you and your ex obviously still want each other, go back to each other and don't worry about the new guy, he'll be alright eventually, he might be a little upset now but your happiness is more important, don't miss out. You know I am right, so don't waste any more time, it might seem cruel to do that to your current guy but he'll understand, if he really cares about you, he'll set you free and let you find your happiness in the arms of your ex. So off you go back to him, maybe it'll be better the second time around :troll2:
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