Girlfriend and Affection.

My girlfriend seems to think affection is texting loads of times saying "I Love You" and lying on the "I miss you's", "you're my world" and all the other cheesy cliche's etc etc , so so much and as she does it loads (and she's complained about me not doing it enough) I feel obliged to do it back. I do love my gf to bits, but I hate doing all the I miss you sooo much and you're my world stuff, its just so cheesy disigenous and not needed all the time. I've told my girlfriend I love her but she expects me to be saying it every day and I feel it means so much less, I'd prefer to say it in those momoents of clarity when you really do feel the love, rather than say it as a matter of routine or she'll get annoyed. What shall I do it's really bugging me and it's just not me, ive tried saying but to no avail.

Reply 1

Jennybean

13

You mean you've tried explaining that to her, as clearly as you've just explained it to us in that post? If not, perhaps show her that post. I would also recommend thinking of other ways you can show her you love her. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to know your other half is missing you, I don't think she's being unreasonable. Perhaps you could say to her that she doesn't need to feel under any pressure herself to say things like "you're my world" or other clichés, perhaps just say you're happy with a couple of texts or a chat on the phone or msn each day to update each other on what you've been up to. You don't have to say stuff like that every time you text her, couldn't you show your affection in other ways, like by saying you've been thinking about her and suggesting stuff for you guys to do together next time you meet? You don't have to say all the cheesy stuff to please her.

Reply 2

louisedotcom

13

How long have you been together?
If its a relatively new relationship it could just be a phase shes going through because shes so happy and excited about the relationship.

If not perhaps just try explaining it to her again, but in a different way.
Have you tried saying something along the lines of you feel secure enough in your relationship not to have to tell her that you love/miss her all the time and you also dont need to be told it because you know how she feels?

You could explain that when you say the same thing over and over again it begins to lose its meaning, so you would prefere if she only said it when absolutley necessary so it feels more special for both of you.
Saying I love you everyday though isnt really alot In my opinion, unless thats constantly throughout the day. Again, I suppose it depends on how long you have been together.

Reply 3

Yoda

12

I would be pissed if someone kept texting me "I love you". Get drunk, and spill your mind. Tell her where she can stick her ****ing texts.

And also, saying it too often will reduce the effect, so you're right in wanting to tell her only when you feel the love. But you're wrong in wanting to tell her at all. Get drunk and tell her about that too.

Reply 4

stepheh

12

Yoda

I would be pissed if someone kept texting me "I love you". Get drunk, and spill your mind. Tell her where she can stick her ****ing texts.

And also, saying it too often will reduce the effect, so you're right in wanting to tell her only when you feel the love. But you're wrong in wanting to tell her at all. Get drunk and tell her about that too.

Wow.
Any girl would be lucky to have you. :rolleyes:

Too right.

is this my boyfriends post? if it is he is exaggerating just a little. i have sed you are my world once.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Christ alive, your girlfriend IS my boyfriend. I know it's his (and mine!) first bloody relationship, but every five minutes it's "you are my world!", "you are more beautiful than all the stars in the world!", "you are amazing!", christ christ I know I am, but I don't need reminding of it all the time 24/7, else it gets boring, and plus I might start to not take care of myself, ya know, properly let myself go. In fact I'm tempted to, just to see if he'll still say all of that crap. Sure I love him, but I feel forced to say it back to him too, ALL the time! and it's not even just a plain simple "I love you!", it's "you're beyond beautiful!", and all that crap. And it doesn't help that he's not even that descriptive, he says the same thing all the time. I got so bored I stopped saying it to him for a little bit to test his reaction, and he just started saying it even more, so I felt bad and over exaggerated the love. It sucks, because as this is a long term relationship, I'm seriously going to have to keep a bucket by my side all the time. Or worse, he'll get bored of it!

Reply 8

jessbates1

I think im the other half in my relationship that says the "i love you" thing quite a lot! Its interesting hearing it from the other side and the reasons are actually really nice! Perhaps if shes like me then she is just soppy!hehe!and feels in love with you lots of the time. She may also just want the reassurance that you feel the same. Sometimes we need to here how you feel at certain times rather then waiting for those extra special moments.

Anonymous

I'd prefer to say it in those momoents of clarity when you really do feel the love.

Reply 9

gracie88

14

I thought maybe this could be my boyfriend, then i realised i only ask my boyfriend to text me so he communicates, not to tell me he loves me every 5 minutes. Also, i'm pretty sure i don't text him with that sole purpose :rolleyes:

Reply 10

Jelkin

17

I thought maybe this could be my boyfriend, then I realise he says all that stuff anyway without my asking him :biggrin:

Reply 11

Phantom Phoenix

13

Jelkin

I thought maybe this could be my boyfriend, then I realise he says all that stuff anyway without my asking him :biggrin:

Hehe, me too! :wink:

Reply 12

amywalters

1

I do understand how your girlfriend feels. It seems as though she is quite insecure and unhappy with herself that she needs to be reinforced about how you feel because she's scared that feelings can change instantly and one minute you'll love her and the next you won't.

I'm quite like this, not so much texting me every minute of the day or anything, but it makes me smile to see a text saying I love you and things like that. So, try not to get so annoyed by it. Maybe she just finds it hard to trust people and has been hurt in the passed which has imprinted on her in your relationship.

The best thing you can do is understand how she feels, then talk to her about the fact that she needs to give you a chance and not tar you with the same brush as every other person that has walked into and out of her life. Tell her that your intention is to be with her and your number one priority is to be honest.. If you didn't love her then you wouldn't say it at all.. but the point is you want to leave it for the moments where she'll really appreciate it, and her insecurity is stopping that from happening.. probably causing the relationship to not go places like it should do!

Reply 13

amywalters

1

Jelkin

I thought maybe this could be my boyfriend, then I realise he says all that stuff anyway without my asking him :biggrin:

I thought this could be my boyfriend too! lol.. See.. we all have the similar problems lol.

Reply 14

--

3

Tell her that life is not a Hugh Grant movie.

Reply 15

Nix!

11

Anonymous

Christ alive, your girlfriend IS my boyfriend. I know it's his (and mine!) first bloody relationship, but every five minutes it's "you are my world!", "you are more beautiful than all the stars in the world!", "you are amazing!", christ christ I know I am, but I don't need reminding of it all the time 24/7, else it gets boring, and plus I might start to not take care of myself, ya know, properly let myself go. In fact I'm tempted to, just to see if he'll still say all of that crap. Sure I love him, but I feel forced to say it back to him too, ALL the time! and it's not even just a plain simple "I love you!", it's "you're beyond beautiful!", and all that crap. And it doesn't help that he's not even that descriptive, he says the same thing all the time. I got so bored I stopped saying it to him for a little bit to test his reaction, and he just started saying it even more, so I felt bad and over exaggerated the love. It sucks, because as this is a long term relationship, I'm seriously going to have to keep a bucket by my side all the time. Or worse, he'll get bored of it!

Oh you're a charmer. Would you prefer it if he called you little Miss Chubalub and made fun of your unattractive features instead?

Reply 16

Lareina岚

Woo....ppl stats guessing around here...
Hahah.....I agree that saying "I love u " for 2 many times will make it less meaningful~~~I saw couples around me do that..keep msging "luv u "and "miz u "stuff and got bored themselves~!Haha.!!Problem is they have nothing 2 say besides "luv" and "miss",,
That's pathetic...

Reply 17

PlaystationStudies

8

Anonymous

"you are more beautiful than all the stars in the world!"

All the stars in the world?

Reply 18

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3

PlaystationStudies

All the stars in the world?

It's like saying 'You're the most beautiful girl in the room' when the two of you are the only people there, it sounds like a compliment, but its actually not. Translated it means 'You're a troll'.

Reply 19

bedbug

14

God that would drive me mad, I hate all the soppy stuff. Just talk to her about it and explain clearly how you feel. Let her know that it's not anything to do with how you feel about her but that it's just not your style at all.

Girlfriend and Affection.

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