Friends etc

I consider myself a quite friendly guy, Im not aggresive or insultive.[sp?] I just can't seem to make good friends with anybody. I don't actually have any friends that I regularly see, go out with or anything. I used to have some in school, but they were school friends, I didn't like them much.

Now im in college, and the people in my class are alright. When I start talking to someone though, I draw compariosns to my old friends, they have the same annoying habits and very similar personalities. people in my college think im their friend, but I really don't want to be. By no means am I popular, or ever have been, I'd just like some people to hang around with.

I spend most of my time on this computer, or out on long impulsive walks in the country. Sometimes I go and sit in a field and look at clouds. I'm pretty shy too. I say pretty shy. I'm very shy. My parents say I'll make friends in college, but since I started (september) I don't think I'm going to.

Im posting as anonymous because some people I know come here.

Any Advice? Thanks.

Reply 1

kylie88

1

cant u try joining some clubs and meeting people that way?

i have a friend thats in the same position as you. he has very few friends and spends most of his time on the computer. But he doesnt help himself in the way he never gets out and does anything, hes a lovely guy and would make loads of friends if he was put in a position where he was able to.

try going to social events and meeting new people :smile:

i no its difficult if your shy but u cant use that as an excuse all the time or u will never make any friends. what about the people on your course?

Reply 2

Angrybanana

11

You say the friends you have in college 'annoy' you-how? My friends have irritating habits sometimes but they have enough good qualities to balance it out so I still want to be their friend. You sound like quite a solitary person so maybe you just prefer you're own company, but I see what you mean about still needing friends. I know everyone says it, but the only real way to find people you will bond with is via a society as that hobby will be what you have in common. Remember that everyone will have their flaws though.

Reply 3

kazss11

7

Get to know people who are into what you are, go out and about.. try to meet new people at clubs, pubs, shopping centers, places of work and college. The more you go out, the more people you meet and get to know better who become good friends.

Reply 4

Trigger

18

you complain you want friends yet find fault with everything with people who want to be your friend. Maybe you should stop being such a snob and get to know these people

Reply 5

Tag

8

stop being so picky. some of my friends annoy me at times but you take the good with the bad, they probably think you're annoying too. nobody is perfect. You just learn to live with each other. It's give and take. Friends have common interests, share things, and a tolerance for each other. three things, that's all it takes.

Reply 6

Redefined

13

You sound like a thinker i.e. you think too much and Analyse things too much. There is nothing wrong with that really but it can also hold you back.

It may be that you just having discovered who you really are, or if you have then you haven't met the right sort of people to compliment your personality.

As for "insultive.[sp?]", i'm only bringing this up cause you wondered if it was right or not - insultive isn't a word, the word you needed there is insulting.

Reply 7

Misogynist

18

It's the same with me. I can be in someone's company, but I don't appreciate them completely. They all have the same mannerisms and beliefs and just don't interest me. I have very few friends. I'm just very selective, but I prefer to be alone most of the time.

I don't know whether this is a blessing or a curse. I analyse people way too much for my own good.

Reply 8

Lindsayy

2

It sounds like your standards are too high. If you want to have friends, you're going to have to ignore the bad boys & relax a little bit. Nobody is without their annoying habits, the only way you get to be ok with them is by accepting them.

I get really annoyed by all my friends at different times. Sometimes I think I would rather just be without them. The thing is, I'm sure they feel the same about me sometimes! That's just how friendships work.

Reply 9

Lindsayy

2

"stop being so picky. some of my friends annoy me at times but you take the good with the bad, they probably think you're annoying too. nobody is perfect. You just learn to live with each other. It's give and take. Friends have common interests, share things, and a tolerance for each other. three things, that's all it takes."

:biggrin:

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

im same!! its really annoying im going to try societies and things soon. Im really sociable but i think maybe im a thinker, and therefore im picky. Im really hoping things shape up soon also. Im an impulsive walker too but im but im not shy and things havent worked out too well but for those that are shy...they seem to be fine now. Strange that. I post anon too because people know me here sorry

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

OP:
No way am I too picky, I get along with almost everyone in my class. By friends, I meant really good friends sort of thing, not just people to hang around with just at college. And their annoying habits? Well.

One guy has exactly the same personality as Alan Carr
The other agrees with him whatever he says

Anyway, Im not sure why I even posted here you know. Anyway, thanks for the advice.

Reply 12

Tag

8

well theres nothing wrong with being picky about who your nearest and dearest are, no matter how nice somebody is doesn't mean you have to bare all to them and tell them things if you don't trust them.

regular friends are a lot less of a big issue. But often it's the regular friends who turn into the close friends. I can't say exactly that it's been like that for me, I tend to meet somebody and occassionally a light flicks on in my head 'click' and says 'I want to spend more time around this person'. But often it can take time to get to know people, get to ignore the facade they put on and show you the real them, for the light to click. It does happen, it just takes a lot of patience.

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