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Are most female POF users just fishing for compliments?

I registered on Plenty of Fish just yesterday and have wasted no time messaging the less attractive girls on that website. I have tried basic 'hi's', asked questions to do with their description or profile picture, attempted humour and altogether garnered 0 replies. I have only had 3 views on my profile, all from people I messaged. Am I generally so ugly that even scraping near the bottom of the barrel frankly on the physical attraction scale isn't enough to find someone who'll take the time out their day to reply to me? Or are most girls around my age (20) just on POF to read what compliments the even-more-desperate-than-I have hurled at them?
(edited 8 years ago)

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Original post by awkwardshortguy
I registered on Plenty of Fish just yesterday and have wasted no time messaging the more unattractive girls on that website. I have tried basic 'hi's', asked questions to do with their description or profile picture, attempted polite humour and altogether garnered 0 replies. I have only had 3 views on my profile, all from people I messaged. Am I generally so ugly that even scraping near the bottom of the barrel isn't enough to find someone who'll take the time out their day to reply to me or are most girls around my age (20) just on POF to read what compliments the even more desperate than I have hurled at them?


RED: Attitude problem. No one likes to be considered unattractive, and going after them simply because you consider them to be unattractive (rather than because of their profile information) is a bad strategy in general. To add to that, desperation is not attractive.

BLUE: Boring. Anybody would ignore "hi" on a dating site, politeness is incredibly dull, and EVERYBODY asks about profile pictures. Make sure your questions aren't generic, otherwise where's your appeal?
Use Tinder instead. Good picture & interesting tagline will get you a right swipe, then flirting & bants all the way into her pants :biggrin:
Reply 3
Agree, you have a nasty attitude which will get you nowhere. Girls do have a bit of an upper hand on Internet dating since the convention is that it's the guy that needs to be proactive and girls can hang back and judge. Generally it's best all round just to head to Yates and see what happens in the real world.
Most girls on POF will get a lot of messages so don't take it personally. I'm not that pretty and I can easily get 100 messages a day. It's hard to respond to them all, let alone go on a date with that many people.... That's why they call it plenty of fish! It really is a numbers game and all I can say is keep fishing. Don't just go for the girls you deem unattractive as you never know who is going to like you. I've messaged guys who weren't so attractive and they ignored me and I've messaged guys who I thought were 100 leagues above me and they responded. You can't afford to be emotional about it.
Okay, first things first: girls get a hell of a lot more replies than guys, so your messages are probably sitting in her inbox along with ten other guys (sometimes more), so don't be disheartened if she replies to someone who she feels matches up to her more. Also, you joined YESTERDAY! People have lives. You know, jobs and hobbies and perhaps even the little gems out there who don't check their phones/accounts every five seconds. Even if you can see she's visited your page, it could be briefly, so at least give it a few more days before you get down in the dumps.

Also, google around what NOT to say. I've seen some pretty embarrassing, cringey, cheesy and downright weird messages.

Maybe it's not what you're writing, but how it's coming across? Such as this post comes across as you coming on too strong, you being needy, butthurt and bitter by referring to them as "bottom of the barrel." You only have a computer screen. You don't have the intonation or body language to highlight and assure that it IS just a "polite" joke. Read what you write. Read it again and make sure it's free from any suggestive, crude or aggressive remarks. But your username kind of makes me think you're just being awkward with your language.

But you are right in that there will be a (arguably) few girls on there that will just want to receive compliments/validation, so perhaps be thankful they didn't reply.
Reply 6
I've done the online dating thing and from a female point of view - it's very tedious and often unsuccessful. Well, for me personally.

There's only so many messages of 'hi' or 'how's it going?' that I could take. It probably comes across that I'm pretty arrogant but if you're taking it seriously, why bother with the 20 people who are saying 'hi' when 1 person has written something genuinely worthwhile and engaging.

Of course, there's a higher ratio of males to females so girls tend to get more messages. And there will be times where you've put effort in and you don't get a reply. It's how it works. People can afford to be picky. Chances are that you've been judged by your photo anyway, far before they've decided to read and reply to your message.

TL;DR:
One day is simply not long enough to make a judgement. Write messages that can engage in conversation, ask a question, talk about their profile ect. These things don't happen spontaneously overnight.
Original post by AdjectiveNoun
RED: Attitude problem. No one likes to be considered unattractive, and going after them simply because you consider them to be unattractive (rather than because of their profile information) is a bad strategy in general. To add to that, desperation is not attractive.

BLUE: Boring. Anybody would ignore "hi" on a dating site, politeness is incredibly dull, and EVERYBODY asks about profile pictures. Make sure your questions aren't generic, otherwise where's your appeal?


Less attractive I meant. But still attractive enough for me to want to date or get something on with them. I registered for a reason.

I am certain they sense no desperation from the type of messages I send.

By politeness I just meant not toilet humour. Some of it's quite racy actually.

Generally from the descriptions I've read it's hard to ask a question that's not generic. I highly doubt people judge whether you're worth replying to by the typicality of your question in your opening line though. 'He's with replying to he asked me if I knew the average radius of the orbit of Ceres'? I don't see it.
Original post by Anonymous
Okay, first things first: girls get a hell of a lot more replies than guys, so your messages are probably sitting in her inbox along with ten other guys (sometimes more), so don't be disheartened if she replies to someone who she feels matches up to her more. Also, you joined YESTERDAY! People have lives. You know, jobs and hobbies and perhaps even the little gems out there who don't check their phones/accounts every five seconds. Even if you can see she's visited your page, it could be briefly, so at least give it a few more days before you get down in the dumps.

Also, google around what NOT to say. I've seen some pretty embarrassing, cringey, cheesy and downright weird messages.

Maybe it's not what you're writing, but how it's coming across? Such as this post comes across as you coming on too strong, you being needy, butthurt and bitter by referring to them as "bottom of the barrel." You only have a computer screen. You don't have the intonation or body language to highlight and assure that it IS just a "polite" joke. Read what you write. Read it again and make sure it's free from any suggestive, crude or aggressive remarks. But your username kind of makes me think you're just being awkward with your language.

But you are right in that there will be a (arguably) few girls on there that will just want to receive compliments/validation, so perhaps be thankful they didn't reply.


Near the bottom of the barrell, and I don't tell them that. If it gets to the stage I can tell they're interested in me I will tell them they look like Megan Fox if she had nicer thumbs.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 9
Original post by WoodyMKC
Use Tinder instead. Good picture & interesting tagline will get you a right swipe, then flirting & bants all the way into her pants :biggrin:


I take it that the muscles in your arm were generated by swiping a little too hard over some if those girls?
Original post by Rebecca Jayne
I've done the online dating thing and from a female point of view - it's very tedious and often unsuccessful. Well, for me personally.

There's only so many messages of 'hi' or 'how's it going?' that I could take. It probably comes across that I'm pretty arrogant but if you're taking it seriously, why bother with the 20 people who are saying 'hi' when 1 person has written something genuinely worthwhile and engaging.

Of course, there's a higher ratio of males to females so girls tend to get more messages. And there will be times where you've put effort in and you don't get a reply. It's how it works. People can afford to be picky. Chances are that you've been judged by your photo anyway, far before they've decided to read and reply to your message.

TL;DR:
One day is simply not long enough to make a judgement. Write messages that can engage in conversation, ask a question, talk about their profile ect. These things don't happen spontaneously overnight.


I've tried lots of openers like I said not that I imagine if I look like dating material to someone the fact I said 'hi' to them would make me not worth replying to. I mean say Robert Pattinson said 'hi' to you, how would you really respond?
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous

I'm not that pretty
A phrase often uttered by pretty girls.


Original post by Anonymous

I've messaged guys who weren't so attractive and they ignored me and I've messaged guys who I thought were 100 leagues above me and they responded. You can't afford to be emotional about it.


Perhaps that means the girls I've been messaging are 101 leagues above me.
What kinda stuff are you saying? Can you give an example?

Personally, if a guy only puts "Hi" then I delete their message straight off as they put absolutely zero thought into it. If they just straight off send me something dirty I delete them. If they are from another country I delete them. If I see a message and I'm not sure *then* I'll check out the profile. If someone sends me a message that catches my eye then I will reply right off.
Reply 13
Original post by awkwardshortguy
I've tried lots of openers like I said not that I imagine if I generally look like dating material to someone the fact I said 'hi' to them would make me not worth replying to. I mean say Robert Pattinson said 'hi' to you, how would you really respond?


If Robert Pattinson said "hi", I wouldn't be interested. He doesn't grab my attention at all, I'm afraid.

I found online dating to be anything but easy, it was frustrating at times and I actually don't use it anymore. I wouldn't get too caught up in it or take it personally (probably easier said than done).

Send a few messages, you won't get replies if you don't and don't keep your hopes pinned on one person. Keep going with it for a bit longer. If you're still unhappy with it, then don't use it.

I still think that 'looking for love' doesn't always work.
Original post by Poldork
I take it that the muscles in your arm were generated by swiping a little too hard over some if those girls?


That and the copious amounts of pornography I consume :biggrin:
Original post by awkwardshortguy
Near the bottom of the barrell, and I don't tell them that. If it gets to the stage I can tell they're interested in me I will tell them the look like Megan Fox if she had nicer thumbs.


See, this is what girls are probably put off by. You're being pedantic. I quoted "bottom of the barrel" which was exactly the four words used, in that order, yet because I omitted the "near the" at the beginning, you have to point that out? It's weird, it's just like, really? Is there really that much difference between near the bottom and at the bottom? So much so that you had to point it out? And I obviously knew you didn't tell them that because I'd assumed you'd be ranting about how you're getting blocked (if that's possible on that site).

Again, the next part of your reply is creepy and weird. Why assume girls want to be compared to Megan Fox (or beauty alike), as if the only goal in life is to look pretty and have nice thumbs. Wtf. So if they're interested in you, you will tell them they look like a conventional, class A-list celeb even though they are, wait for it, here it comes, "near the bottom of the barrel?" That's just needy and desperate. Maybe stay off dating sites for a while and use TSR as your training ground in order to get better at messaging :h:
Original post by WoodyMKC
Use Tinder instead. Good picture & interesting tagline will get you a right swipe, then flirting & bants all the way into her pants :biggrin:


I already use it. Interesting tagline I've got, good picture is not possible legally speaking. I have only matched with one real girl on it and she straight up told me she's only uses it for the validation. Or at least that's the only reason she swiped me in particular right.
'Fishing' for compliments, geddit?














...I should probably just leave :getmecoat:
Original post by WoodyMKC
That and the copious amounts of pornography I consume :biggrin:


[video]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZHBUMldzpc[/video]
Reply 19
Original post by awkwardshortguy
I registered on Plenty of Fish just yesterday and have wasted no time messaging the more unattractive girls on that website. I have tried basic 'hi's', asked questions to do with their description or profile picture, attempted polite humour and altogether garnered 0 replies. I have only had 3 views on my profile, all from people I messaged. Am I generally so ugly that even scraping near the bottom of the barrel isn't enough to find someone who'll take the time out their day to reply to me or are most girls around my age (20) just on POF to read what compliments the even more desperate than I have hurled at them?


As a guy dont waste time on POF unless you're better looking than average / have a strategy. Most girls on there literally get message from 50 different guys a day (I made a fake account with pics of an average looking girl and was getting like 50 messages a day). Makes all the girls on there completely detached from reality about their own value. Tinder & Okcupid are better
(edited 8 years ago)

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