I'm a muslim woman who is into a non muslim, but don't know what to do next

Hi guys

We're both 21 years of age and we both study for the same degree at the same university. Usually when it comes to non muslim guys I let my guard down because muslim women can't marry non muslims. I did the same with this guy, but it led me to falling for him. This was especially the case when I spent more time with him at university and our study abroad.

At first I just thought he was physically attractive, but that's not what made me fall for him. The more we spent time together the more I noticed just how lovely his personality is, so I began to care for him more. We'd watch football matches together and play fifa. He taught me how to play the guitar and the oud, and I taught him how to dance the dabke and play the drums, we found ourselves going to weekly jam sessions. I teach him arabic every now and then, because he asks and he's one of the best linguists I've ever met. He asked a friend of mine if my parents would allow me to marry a non muslim, because my father married my mum before she converted. I love him because he feels like home to me, I care for him and feel content around him. I can really get along with him.

I haven't told him that I love him because I fear the consequences. I can't tell someone I love them whilst knowing I can't be with them. My religion and parents matter a lot to me, so it's difficult to put them aside and marry a non muslim. At the same time, if things develop between us I don't want him to convert just because of me, it's not fair on him.

I'm not sure what to do now. I don't know whether to push myself away or approach him about it. I'm in love with this man, but I know my chances are slim, because my religion forbids me from marrying a non muslim. So should I tell him how I feel and ask him if he feels the same towards me to see how we could develop things, or would that be stupid of me and instead should I just begin to distance myself from him even though I don't want to?

Thanks for your time guys :smile:

Reply 1

iamthetruth

I'm sure he is a very nice person and you say that you love him but if your religion means a lot to you why are you are hanging around with this guy when you know it is forbidden in Islam. I think you are a confused girl there is hypocrisy here.

Reply 2

EPIC Guy

are you those muslims that wear burkas and stuff everyday?

Reply 3

Rorschach II

Although this isn't the response you'd want, I'd say ignore your parents would-be thoughts on the matter and just be with him.
Also, perhaps ignore your religion.

You shouldn't have to deprive yourself of potential happiness just because he's non Muslim.

Reply 4

beautyandthebeat

I know at least two people in my family and a few examples in my family friends who married a non-muslim (reverted prior to Nikkah) and all are practicing now.

Feel free to pm me in regards to this as I feel i can help :h:

Reply 5

misalona

I'm not muslim, but you have to look at things both ways...
If you and the guy were actually made for each other, it's a win win
But he has to convert to Islam and pardon me but as a non-muslim I find that unfair though I perfectly understanding the reasoning behind this in your religion

If you try to back off a bit and get over him, you won't feel guilty and it won't upset your parents.

You are old enough to make your own choice but there are plenty of men out there that will make your heart go wild that are muslims. Let this one go and try to look for a muslim guy :smile:

Reply 6

Nadile

I don't think you should take your parents' opinions into account, it's your life and you should prioritise your own happiness here, they have their own lives already.

As for the guy, it would ofc be nice if he actually become a Muslim, however not for the sake of the relationship as that just won't last. I think it's safe to assume that this isn't gonna happen, if he was to become a Muslim then he would have probably converted by now. Right now it's purely the matter of whether your religion is more important to you or if he is. If you do decide to distance yourself, I think you should at least explain the situation to him though. Hell, maybe you could try discussing this with him if you feel comfortable enough.

Reply 7

SJSS

If your father married your mum before she converted and things worked out fine for them then surely that proves it would be silly to let someone go just because theyre non muslim.