Why doesn't he make plans with me?

I'm feeling so confused. I've been seeing him for over a month, things are so great in person.
But the issue is with dates and making plans. I feel like I'm doing all the work for him. When I suggest a place or a day, he's 100% up for it and we have a great time. He's even introduced me to two of his family members and his friend! But still.. If I don't arrange to see him, nothing happens.

I don't think it's an issue of him being too busy... he has plenty of time to chat and do stuff on facebook, share videos etc.. in person, if I've hinted I want to go somewhere in hope he'll make the plans for a change, he says that sounds cool, then relies on me to do the plan making for us. After a month of this, I'd like for him to do it! How do I ask him to do this without seeming controlling or needy?

The reason I'm worked up about this is he lives an hour away (we see each other a week, sometimes twice if we can). When I saw him a few days ago, we suggested a plan for Wednesday. We both seemed really interested in doing this thing on Wednesday and it's now Tuesday night, not heard a word from him today and I'm feeling reluctant to chase him up on this as I have done for every other time. I want him to put in some effort to see me for a change.

Reply 1

shawn_o1

Meet him first, then bring it up "nicely" i.e. don't ever imply that he is to blame for anything.

Reply 2

Alexion

He's probably just got used to you sorting it out, so doesn't feel like he needs to organise anything.

Just drop the hint in casual conversation how you feel, and suggest that he sorts out the next time you meet up rather than leaving it to you :h:

Reply 3

Kevin De Bruyne

"Today was fun, we should meet up some other time"
"Yeah, that sounds good"
"Okay, how about this, you can pick the place/activity next time and surprise me. :wink:

Reply 4

teu.dm

Hi miss!

Well, your guy is lucky to have you. A young lady with the commitment to work things out and plan everything. He must be dependent on you. Nice strategy there missy ;D

Well, some men dont really like to think that much. In spite the privilege of having 99% are made up of logic and 1% is emotion, we do tend not to fully utilise such privilege. I sincerely apologise for our lack of sensitivity and put you all the trouble. But miss, isnt it a positive thing that you can plan the dates and places, we'll follow you. It shows that you have the expertise in those area and believe me, my gf used to sulk when its my turn to choose the place because it was not up to her taste. I brought her to a street stall for our date. Men can be oblivious at times. I understand that we should be making an effort for the dates, but, sometimes, there are times, where there are some men who arent that good in choosing places or organising like the female.

I know it went out of context, just wanna show that your guy is lucky to have you that is kind and considerate enough to work things out. If you would like him to make an effort to organise the dates. Well, first, be ready that the place might not be as good as your expectation. You can brought it up to him in a casual way or make a deal with him. I m sure he wont mind. You can create excuses saying that you wish to go places that he choose, to understand him more.

I dont see that would be offensive or you are being control freak if you ask nicely and politely. If he does get piss, he must be blind to not see your great love for him and how fortunate he is ;D

Anyway,
Good luck.
All the best =)

Why doesn't he make plans with me?

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you