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Confused about my sexuality?

I used to watch straight porn and Id get off to it easily and then I came across gay porn and now straight porn just doesn't cut it for me anymore and I find it difficult to keep an erection unless I'm having a gay fantasy or watching gay porn, now yes I understand this screams 'GAY', but not all my fantasies involve men and there is no emotional or romantic element to my fantasies with men but with women there is? I do not get attracted to men in real life and even though I can acknowledge when a man is attractive the thought of doing anything sexual with them doesn't cross my mind. Anther point to make is when I don't have any visual stimulus and I'm just fantasising on my own I always veer off to heterosexual fantasies, though without visual stimulus it's difficult to keep an erection whatsoever. I have only ever had crushes on girls and there's one girl I like at the moment or at least think I do and whenever I see her in the street I'm instantly in a better mood and my heart rate increases around her etc. I understand im probably not 100% straight but I truly do not feel emotional/romantic or even physical attraction to men at all I only really focus on the c*** on a man in my fantasy there is no sensual/love making element there it is 100% sexual and sexual only. My main worry here is when/if I get a GF in the future im scared to death I won't be able to get hard even though I do feel genuine attraction to women and want to have sex with them? Could it be porn has messed with me and I need a sexual 'reboot' and lay off porn for a while? I am a virgin and have never had any sexual contact with a woman besides kissing (which I do find arousing) so I can't really predict how my 'equipment' will react when I'm faced with the possibility of actual sex. In clubs and when I'm out with friends im never noticing men and I always notice the girls and when I've pulled girls there has always been 'movement' down there shall we say. I have no desire to ever have any actual sexual contact with a man as it does not appeal to me in real life yet in fantasy I find it really hot. like I said it's got to the point now where I can hardly keep an erection at all without visual stimulus and with visual stimulus I can only keep it to homosexual content? I do not like the thought of all the romantic side of things with men such as kissing/cuddling/sleeping next to each other at night etc this seems to be a purely sexual fantasy yet I really want those romantic types of things with a woman? I do feel sexually attracted towards women I see and know and I genuinly do feel somewhat horny and want to f*** them but my p***s seems like it's trying to tell me otherwise. I have never seen a man in real life and thought 'yeah Id love to f*** him'. I know some people might say 'be open to a relationship with a man' but ive had a good long think about it these past few weeks and I really don't think I ever could. That's not a social view talking either as I thought about if me and another man were the last living people on the planet with no one to comment or judge on it, could I have a relationship/sex with them if I found them attractive and the answer is a strong no. So as you can see I'm hugely confused here and in need of some outsider advice/input haha. By the way I don't care about labels either, I am what I am and I don't ever intend to label myself as I will just go with the flow and how I feel at that time; the problem is that I really don't know what I am or how I feel! Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Reply 1

unprinted

Gay porn does have the advantage of tending to treat its talent rather better than straight porn...

Sexuality is multi-faceted. Your attraction can be different to your behaviour and your identity can be different again. You can desire relationships with one sort of person and casual sex with another. Etc etc etc.

If you do a Google for 'Klein sexual orientation grid', you will find a useful tool for considering where you were, where you are now, and where your ideal future is.

The bit I'd be concerned about is

Original post by Anonymous

without visual stimulus it's difficult to keep an erection whatsoever.