confidence problems

I have always been shy and quiet im 14. Recenly ive turned even more shy.. My legs just tremble, i get confused really easily in front of the class when im called up... I feel stupid...
In year 9 a guy use to kick my chair, and say mean stuff throw paper aeroplanes to me! And i get shy around everyone hes in my maths class and i had to stand up and get a paper wallet he was sitting at the front and it fell out of my hand and i got so nervous! Ergh i hate me!!!

Reply 1

isla21

It isn't certain so don't take this for definite but it sounds like you are showing symptoms of social anxiety. I would recommend searching 'social anxiety' on google and seeing if you feel like you display any symptoms. If it's likely that you do have social anxiety, the next step is to talk to someone about it- a parent.school nurse etc so you can get further help.
It is also really important that you see a therapist about this, preferably one who can carry out CBT on you, which is a suitable method of treatment on people with social anxiety- don't worry it's not anything completely drastic, it''s a method which involves you taking small steps into putting yourself into situations that make you feel a little uncomfortable and learning to reduce anxiety when doing so.
If you go on youtube and search 'social anxiety' loads of videos with tips on how to reduce social anxiety will come up- it's definitely worth checking them out.
I know the youtuber Samantha Maria has social anxiety so it's defiantly worth checking out her videos as she has some great tips and recommends a few books that have helped her.
I would also strongly recommend talking to your teachers at school about the situation- it might seem a little scary but it is SO important that you do so as they will be able to support you and find arrangements that work best for you during lessons. If you find it difficult talking face to face, you could email them or even get a parent to email them.
As for this boy- my main advice would be to ignore him and whenever he does something to provoke you or embarrass you, take deep breaths and remind yourself that you are in control. He wants you to feel humilated, he wants you to feel shy and embarrassed and the reason he keeps behaving in this way is probably down to him feeling insecure himself so by making you feel bad he probably feels more powerful, Always remember that as humans we are all insecure and lacking in confidence in some way or another- some people are just better at hiding it than others.
I really hope this helped you- be brave and speak out about how you're feeling!
And don't be down on yourself- you are a strong, brave person who deserves to be happy and feel comfortable.
Good luck!! <3 xx

Reply 2

evalilyXOX

Original post by heyitscraziix

as said by Isla21, it may be social anxiety that you suffer from.

I was bullied really badly in my younger years and it has really affected me as a teenager. I suffer particularly in large social groups of people I don't know, particularly at parties and the dreaded nightclubs.

I over think things too much and can become really sensitive to an issue that people would even bother over. I also suffer from what I would call a sickness feeling if I know I have a party etc in the future that I have to attend.

I don't really know what advice to give you other than maybe seeking counselling as it is one of those things I personally just live with and just accept. Since starting university I grew very anxious and worried that people wouldn't accept me, but my friends that I have made are all aware of my anxiety and don't make me fell pressured into attending a party etc that I might feel uncomfortable with.

Sometimes with Social Anxiety it can go away as you become older and I definitely feel over the past few months that I have improved and feel a lot more confident.

I know this probably wont help much, Sorry !

confidence problems

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