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My Mum... watch

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    Ok, my mum teaches at our local college- she does one to one dyslexia tutoring...anyway...she was teaching a student for about 6 weeks. On monday I came home (about 5pm) to find that he was in the garden with my mum and they were having a cup of tea etc (except he was having a beer...) and it looked like they had had lunch...which was fine. When my mum took him home(about 5.20 as we had a dentist appointment at 5.15 which she was supposed to take me to but i ended up going on my own as i didn't want to be late)..

    She asked me if I was ok with her having him round...she doesn't teach him anymore but they have decided to stay friends... and I said it was fine. She said she was very excited as she had never had a male friend before. He must be about 25 ish and used to live in a war torn country and she says they have really great conversations.

    Then i came back today about 3pm and found that he was here...they were talking in the front room...then she went out to teach about 4pm but he stayed in the house...and then she got back about 5.30 ish. Anyway, i went out about 6.30 and came back home about 9.00....he is still here...
    there are some beer bottles and they had tea together....they are now in the garden...i think my mum is a bit tipsy as she is laughing and giggling really wierdly and basically flirting. He also seems to stand really close to her. My dad has gone away for a few days to finland on business, and i'm not sure if he even knows that my mum has this 'guest'. She also doesn't seem to really be taking care of the dog- and hasn't taken him out for a walk yet- he usually has one around 8-9pm....

    it is making me feel really uncomfortable...my mum isn't actually doing anything with him, but she never acts like this around my dad...and he has been round and awful lot in a short space of time...it is making me feel really upset

    Do you think it is ok for my mum to be doing this? I suppose my dad may know about it..but i know that he wouldn't be here if my dad was at home.... i don't know if i am feeling paranoid and upset about nothing...i am also feeling sorry for my dad if he doesn't know that she is having this bloke round... there is nothing wrong with her being friends with someone, but she never has her female friends round like this- i suppose they all have families etc...and couldn't give up the time...oh i don't know

    its making it really hard for me to concentrate on my revision whilst thinking about it all..

    I would appreciate any comments....

    Ruthie xx
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    It's a tough one. It could be perfectly innocent, but you can't be sure of that. I suggest talking to your mum. Don't accuse her of anything, just try to find out more about this guy and see what she says. Or try making a joke to her about it and see how she reacts. When does your dad come back?
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    (Original post by ruthiepoothie)
    Ok, my mum teaches at our local college- she does one to one dyslexia tutoring...anyway...she was teaching a student for about 6 weeks. On monday I came home (about 5pm) to find that he was in the garden with my mum and they were having a cup of tea etc (except he was having a beer...) and it looked like they had had lunch...which was fine. When my mum took him home(about 5.20 as we had a dentist appointment at 5.15 which she was supposed to take me to but i ended up going on my own as i didn't want to be late)..

    She asked me if I was ok with her having him round...she doesn't teach him anymore but they have decided to stay friends... and I said it was fine. She said she was very excited as she had never had a male friend before. He must be about 25 ish and used to live in a war torn country and she says they have really great conversations.

    Then i came back today about 3pm and found that he was here...they were talking in the front room...then she went out to teach about 4pm but he stayed in the house...and then she got back about 5.30 ish. Anyway, i went out about 6.30 and came back home about 9.00....he is still here...
    there are some beer bottles and they had tea together....they are now in the garden...i think my mum is a bit tipsy as she is laughing and giggling really wierdly and basically flirting. He also seems to stand really close to her. My dad has gone away for a few days to finland on business, and i'm not sure if he even knows that my mum has this 'guest'. She also doesn't seem to really be taking care of the dog- and hasn't taken him out for a walk yet- he usually has one around 8-9pm....

    it is making me feel really uncomfortable...my mum isn't actually doing anything with him, but she never acts like this around my dad...and he has been round and awful lot in a short space of time...it is making me feel really upset

    Do you think it is ok for my mum to be doing this? I suppose my dad may know about it..but i know that he wouldn't be here if my dad was at home.... i don't know if i am feeling paranoid and upset about nothing...i am also feeling sorry for my dad if he doesn't know that she is having this bloke round... there is nothing wrong with her being friends with someone, but she never has her female friends round like this- i suppose they all have families etc...and couldn't give up the time...oh i don't know

    its making it really hard for me to concentrate on my revision whilst thinking about it all..

    I would appreciate any comments....

    Ruthie xx

    I dont think ure being paranoid. Ask her, is she having an affair?
    Maybe she justs wants the attention from a male, and missing ur dad. Or maybe its nothing, just friendship. If you havent seen them do naything, then I think its ok.
    Dont think about it now, especially now its ur exams. If it is worrying you, tell ur mum, you dont like it and tell her you cant concentrate. Talking is thre best method.
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    (Original post by ~Sam~)
    It's a tough one. It could be perfectly innocent, but you can't be sure of that. I suggest talking to your mum. Don't accuse her of anything, just try to find out more about this guy and see what she says. Or try making a joke to her about it and see how she reacts. When does your dad come back?
    my dad is coming back on sunday...

    i don't think they are having an affair in the sexual sense of the word... its just that spending a lot of time with a single member of the opposite sex and talking to them about things you wouldn't talk to your husband about and acting differently to how you do around your husband is surely a bit strange...

    I mean, i tried to imagine myself in her shoes- i just wouldn't do it to my boyfriend.... yes i'd have friends of the opposite sex and yes i'd speak to them and do stuff with them...but not for 5/6 hours twice within the space of 3 days...its just not right....is it?

    and it just makes me feel uncomfortable...for example i'm hungry and my mum has saved me some tea but i don't want to go down and eat it whilst they are there...that may sound weird but it's just making me feel weird...this has never happened before...
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    (Original post by BlueAngel)
    I dont think ure being paranoid. Ask her, is she having an affair?
    Maybe she justs wants the attention from a male, and missing ur dad. Or maybe its nothing, just friendship. If you havent seen them do naything, then I think its ok.
    Dont think about it now, especially now its ur exams. If it is worrying you, tell ur mum, you dont like it and tell her you cant concentrate. Talking is thre best method.
    ps my dad only went this morning...and she normally manages fine when he's away....
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    (Original post by ruthiepoothie)
    my dad is coming back on sunday...

    i don't think they are having an affair in the sexual sense of the word... its just that spending a lot of time with a single member of the opposite sex and talking to them about things you wouldn't talk to your husband about and acting differently to how you do around your husband is surely a bit strange...

    I mean, i tried to imagine myself in her shoes- i just wouldn't do it to my boyfriend.... yes i'd have friends of the opposite sex and yes i'd speak to them and do stuff with them...but not for 5/6 hours twice within the space of 3 days...its just not right....is it?

    and it just makes me feel uncomfortable...for example i'm hungry and my mum has saved me some tea but i don't want to go down and eat it whilst they are there...that may sound weird but it's just making me feel weird...this has never happened before...
    Does your mum have many male friends? Maybe she's just missing your dad or she's happy to have found a friend that is separate from her relationship with your dad. If it's making you feel uncomfortable I think you should say something. It's your house and you should be able to go down for something to eat without worrying. I'd say leave it to tomorrow and see if he comes round again before deciding to day something though
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    (Original post by ~Sam~)
    Does your mum have many male friends? Maybe she's just missing your dad or she's happy to have found a friend that is separate from her relationship with your dad. If it's making you feel uncomfortable I think you should say something. It's your house and you should be able to go down for something to eat without worrying. I'd say leave it to tomorrow and see if he comes round again before deciding to day something though
    my mum doesn't have any other male friends...that i know of anyway....

    i will wait and see if he comes round again, and if he does i will mention it to her....

    its fine having a male friend separate from the relationship with my dad...i have male friends separate from my bf...but he still knows about them and i would be happy for him to come with me to meet up with them etc...and i would tell him if i saw them...i just get the feeling that my dad might not know...especially that he is still round at nearly 10pm when he came before 3pm...if i was my dad i wouldn't be too happy....fair enough meet up for a couple of hours or whatever....but he only came round on monday and its not like they live far away......(if you live far away and visited someone that you don't see very often of course you would stay for the day)..

    i don't know....a part of me thinks that i'm being too hard on her and that it's fine..but i just feel weird about it...

    they are still laughing really loudly
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    (Original post by ruthiepoothie)
    my mum doesn't have any other male friends...that i know of anyway....

    i will wait and see if he comes round again, and if he does i will mention it to her....

    its fine having a male friend separate from the relationship with my dad...i have male friends separate from my bf...but he still knows about them and i would be happy for him to come with me to meet up with them etc...and i would tell him if i saw them...i just get the feeling that my dad might not know...especially that he is still round at nearly 10pm when he came before 3pm...if i was my dad i wouldn't be too happy....fair enough meet up for a couple of hours or whatever....but he only came round on monday and its not like they live far away......(if you live far away and visited someone that you don't see very often of course you would stay for the day)..

    i don't know....a part of me thinks that i'm being too hard on her and that it's fine..but i just feel weird about it...

    they are still laughing really loudly
    Try not to think about it. I know it's probably hard, but you have more important things to concentrate on. Or maybe if you go downstairs and talk to him, it will put your mind at rest? It's your call. Maybe he's having problems you don't know about and just needs some company and your mum is giving that? I've got to go now. I hope things work out ok
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    (Original post by ~Sam~)
    Try not to think about it. I know it's probably hard, but you have more important things to concentrate on. Or maybe if you go downstairs and talk to him, it will put your mind at rest? It's your call. Maybe he's having problems you don't know about and just needs some company and your mum is giving that? I've got to go now. I hope things work out ok
    thanks...

    i'm going to try not to think about it....
    they have gone out to walk the dog now
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    u should definatly talk 2 her
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    ok- so he stayed last night...downstairs in the front room..and he is here now even though my mum has gone out

    i am thinking of reading my mum's journal to find out what is going on...would that be wrong??

    Ruthie xx
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    not if its making you fee3l uncomfortable...or as shes gone out ask him wots happening....it mite be hard but if its upsettin you, you ahve to tlak to one of them!!!! you can tlive like this while your dads away...you should efinately ask seens as he stayed last nite...cos that could suggest something!! oh i feel so bada for you babe....have a hug *reaches out arms to give hug* just keep smiling till you knnow the whole story
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    (Original post by littleredfrog)
    not if its making you fee3l uncomfortable...or as shes gone out ask him wots happening....it mite be hard but if its upsettin you, you ahve to tlak to one of them!!!! you can tlive like this while your dads away...you should efinately ask seens as he stayed last nite...cos that could suggest something!! oh i feel so bada for you babe....have a hug *reaches out arms to give hug* just keep smiling till you knnow the whole story
    i don't want to speak to him so i might talk to my mum later
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    (Original post by ruthiepoothie)
    i don't want to speak to him so i might talk to my mum later
    what do you think about the journal...i know i shouldn't read it but i just want to know how my mum sees him...she might have written about it?
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    (Original post by ruthiepoothie)
    i don't want to speak to him so i might talk to my mum later
    okay...just approach it and tell her how you feel....you should be able to work it out!! if she cares bout you she'll stop it so that you dont feel uncomfortable
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    if i had a child and my wife went away i wudnt leave a 'girl' friend alone in the house with my child if they knew each other let alone if they dont that well.

    i really feel for ur situation but its ur home as much as ur parents. tell her your not happy, uve got exams and this is not the sorta thing u need 2 be thinking about. if u tell her this dont let her explain.....'oh its nothing he wont bother u'. just say ur piece and then hopefully she'll c ur more important. firm but not angry is the policy.

    gd luck
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    (Original post by ruthiepoothie)
    i don't want to speak to him so i might talk to my mum later
    Let your mum know that you're not comfortable with him just staying in the house when she goes and you're alone trying to de revision - it seems a bit unfair to me.
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    (Original post by ruthiepoothie)
    what do you think about the journal...i know i shouldn't read it but i just want to know how my mum sees him...she might have written about it?
    read it... just dont tell her!! if you want to know then read it...it is wrong but your doing it for the right reasons!
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    What if she says some rather dodgy stuff in there that she would rather not know? :eek:
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    That depends if you trust your mum. Maybe she wouldn't. If I was a lad though and your mum was nice enough, things could get inserted into other things, perhaps in a drunken stooper. A war torn country excuse is a good one for sympathy. I would watch the lad and tell him to watch it. I could do that but maybe as your a girl it's different. Or phone your dad? This is a tough one. You may have to stay in and keep watch, depends whether the glass is half empty of half full.
 
 
 
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