The Student Room Group

Masturbation in Durham......



Re:Masturbation in Showers


We have found several blackages in showers in university owned
accommodation,most commonly caused by human hair.

However,over last term we found many of these blackages to be caused
by large quantities of what we have now determined to be semen.

This is intolerable,and we shall be tracing the culprits by means of
DNA matching if the problem persists.

May we advise students who wish to masturbate to do so in the comfort
of theor own rooms,rather than in the showers.

Thank you for taking time to read this document.



P Robinson,
Director,
Estates and Buildings

Scroll to see replies

I can't imagine university being the same if you're denied a ham shank in the shower :frown:
Reply 2
I've seen this soooo many times before. Apparently it was a prank ages ago.
Reply 3
zomg this is like so old.

*reports*
Reply 4
HAHAHA. That's hilarious! :biggrin:
Reply 5
LMAO. I thought it was real.
Reply 6
Clarence
LMAO. I thought it was real.

So did everyone in Durham.
TWO YEARS AGO.
Reply 7
Becca
So did everyone in Durham.
TWO YEARS AGO.

zomg let it go old woman.
Lmao
Reply 9
thats some big sperm! im sure captain ahab would love chasing that ;yes; :p:
Reply 10
db
zomg let it go old woman.

:hmmm:
omg ? the OP should post this in University of Durham's thread.
This is the first time I read this notice.

edit: oops.. I didn't notice that it was moved from Durham's thread.
Reply 12
i thought it was a year ago, not 2?
Is there any evidence that this was a prank?
I have a sneaky suspicion that it may be a genuine warning to stop people from manipulating themselves in the showers
Reply 14
It was definately a prank, in the Keep in Castle last year, although a lot of people thought it was real at first as the showers in question did used to get blocked and flood on a pretty regular basis. Whoever started spreading it around the internet should probably have blanked out the contact details though, apparently E&B got a lot of attention and didn't see the funny side...
Reply 15
hahaha thats jokes, it looks real though.
thats some big sperm! im sure captain ahab would love chasing that


Ye I think we can safely say the culprit was master bates
Reply 17
AJ
hahaha thats jokes, it looks real though.

that's the point.
If it's a 'prank', can't Durham University sue the pranksters for publishing a document using their name?
Reply 19
I have never seen that before. I found it amusing. :biggrin: