Losing virginity to best friend? Thoughts?

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Anonymous #1
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I wanted to wait until I was married before I first had sex and I ideally want to be with a virgin boy, but I feel like that's so unlikely to happen considering most boys aren't virgins when they're like 25 lol

My best mate is a virgin and we have been really close for 5 years, and we have feelings for each other. He's talking about losing ours to each other which I think is a nice idea because we're in the same boat and I don't want to give my virginity to someone who has nothing to give me in return

Do you think this would be a bad idea? I'm worried that I'd regret losing it but I don't want to lose it to a non-virgin!!!

Thnx
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TheonlyMrsHolmes
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I wanted to wait until I was married before I first had sex and I ideally want to be with a virgin boy, but I feel like that's so unlikely to happen considering most boys aren't virgins when they're like 25 lol

My best mate is a virgin and we have been really close for 5 years, and we have feelings for each other. He's talking about losing ours to each other which I think is a nice idea because we're in the same boat and I don't want to give my virginity to someone who has nothing to give me in return

Do you think this would be a bad idea? I'm worried that I'd regret losing it but I don't want to lose it to a non-virgin!!!

Thnx
I think that's the only problem in this situation! If you feel like you may regret it, then why not just wait a while until you feel fully committed to losing it.

It's completely up to you, it's your decision to make.
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TornadoGR4
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(Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
It's completely up to you, it's your decision to make.
That's a lie, she passed up her chance to make a decision & now we have the power

Go for it OP what's the absolute worst that could happen?
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Anonymous #2
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Yeah go for it, why not. Your virginity is special but It's not as special as you think it is
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by TornadoGR4)
That's a lie, she passed up her chance to make a decision & now we have the power

Go for it OP what's the absolute worst that could happen?
That my future husband finds out I'm not a virgin and is disgusted by me I don't know ? I'm not looking to have sex on more than one occasion with my best friend, I just want to give him my virginity
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PasserbyA
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Virginity is an arbitrary social construct which serves (only) to prevent women from having sex, because it shames them into not doing anything till they're married. If you don't believe me, check the ancient cultures. It really doesn't matter. Do, or do not, but don't talk about it as if it's some grand prize or mark of purity, because it's really just this random thing society decided would be cool to impose.
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TornadoGR4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That my future husband finds out I'm not a virgin and is disgusted by me I don't know ? I'm not looking to have sex on more than one occasion with my best friend, I just want to give him my virginity
Give him it then just buy a new one. Your husband Will never know
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by PasserbyA)
Virginity is an arbitrary social construct which serves (only) to prevent women from having sex, because it shames them into not doing anything till they're married. If you don't believe me, check the ancient cultures. It really doesn't matter. Do, or do not, but don't talk about it as if it's some grand prize or mark of purity, because it's really just this random thing society decided would be cool to impose.
Thank you for this, definitely makes me feel better.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by TornadoGR4)
Give him it then just buy a new one. Your husband Will never know
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theuglysenpai
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I lost my virginity in a threesome - lol i know, wild Summer. Anyways, i lost it 2 my 2 best friends (1 guy and 1 girl). It was initially quite weird, but if you both want it then it wont change the friendship dynamic at all~
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TheonlyMrsHolmes
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That my future husband finds out I'm not a virgin and is disgusted by me I don't know ? I'm not looking to have sex on more than one occasion with my best friend, I just want to give him my virginity
How old are you OP?
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Anonymous #3
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If you want to, then go for it. Don't feel pressured into thinking it has to be this massive romantic thing and doing it with someone you don't love is a sin or makes you a slut or something. However, I would consider:
1) You say you have feelings for each other. You would need to be absolutely sure that you both feel the same way, and it's not a case of one of you wanting a relationship afterwards and the other one not, because that can mess up a friendship. I know I just said sex doesn't have to be big and romantic, but some people do think of it that way and get very emotionally involved without meaning to.
2) Don't feel pressured to lose your virginity. You don't have to 'get it over with', so to speak. But don't feel pressured to hold onto it, either. It's just completely your choice. Some people even have sex, but still class themselves as virgins until they have sex 'properly', i.e. with someone they love.

May I ask why you would like to lose your virginity to a virgin?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
How old are you OP?
19, and he's 20
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If you want to, then go for it. Don't feel pressured into thinking it has to be this massive romantic thing and doing it with someone you don't love is a sin or makes you a slut or something. However, I would consider:
1) You say you have feelings for each other. You would need to be absolutely sure that you both feel the same way, and it's not a case of one of you wanting a relationship afterwards and the other one not, because that can mess up a friendship. I know I just said sex doesn't have to be big and romantic, but some people do think of it that way and get very emotionally involved without meaning to.
2) Don't feel pressured to lose your virginity. You don't have to 'get it over with', so to speak. But don't feel pressured to hold onto it, either. It's just completely your choice. Some people even have sex, but still class themselves as virgins until they have sex 'properly', i.e. with someone they love.

May I ask why you would like to lose your virginity to a virgin?
Thank you and I think I'd feel comfortable with a virgin - if he wasn't I'd be more insecure and I don't think I'd be as happy giving him my virginity when he can't do the same.
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Georg Hegel
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Why don't you date if you both like each other?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Georg Hegel)
Why don't you date if you both like each other?
It's like we are but we aren't? We tell each other we love each other but both of us have been hurt in the past so we're refraining from calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend for security I guess. Culturally and religiously we are different too, so I think I'm a bit apprehensive because of my family, but he's completely fine with it.
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Georg Hegel
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's like we are but we aren't? We tell each other we love each other but both of us have been hurt in the past so we're refraining from calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend for security I guess. Culturally and religiously we are different too, so I think I'm a bit apprehensive because of my family, but he's completely fine with it.
Personally, I think it's a bad idea. If you've both ruled out a relationship then sex will only complicate that further; it's not normal for best friends to want to sleep with each other... you wouldn't sleep with your brother, same for your best friend? Sex involves a lot of emotions and hormones and it's very easy for one of you to want more than being best friends. I don't know many best friends who stayed that way after sleeping with each other, and that was just from having too much to drink. I can't understand why you don't just wait. If you're saying it's because sex isn't a big deal then why is it so important for you to have sex? You're not going to be any better at sex from having sex once either, it requires practice (normally with the same partner).
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william walker
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Bad idea, it would be a mistake. You would regret it.
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lunarpilot
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The whole "I wanna have sex for reputation" is bull. Don't have sex if you're not ready and if its not someone you like in that way. Why does everyone give a crap about whether they're a virgin or not? congrats you've had sexual intercourse that TOTALLY gives you worth. I dunno I wouldn't do something like that with just anyone and I definitely wouldn't do it just because people say being a virgin is wrong. Just cause its "acceptable" in the eyes of others doesn't mean its the right behaviour.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by lunarpilot)
The whole "I wanna have sex for reputation" is bull. Don't have sex if you're not ready and if its not someone you like in that way. Why does everyone give a crap about whether they're a virgin or not? congrats you've had sexual intercourse that TOTALLY gives you worth. I dunno I wouldn't do something like that with just anyone and I definitely wouldn't do it just because people say being a virgin is wrong. Just cause its "acceptable" in the eyes of others doesn't mean its the right behaviour.
??? how is this relevant? I don't want to have sex for reputation and I want to lose my virginity when I'm ready - whether that's in a year or 5.
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