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Being forced to wear Asian clothes

So I prefer wearing western clothes but my family want me to wear Asian clothes all the time. I'm not comfortable in Asian clothes, but they always try and force me. Just a few minutes ago, I was in my pyjamas and my mum's uncle came over and when I was in the kitchen my mum shouted at me for wearing what I was.

I'm tired of always arguing about what I'm wearing and getting shouted at by my mum and other elders in the family. I don't even wearing revealing clothes, but they still have a problem. How do I explain to them that I'm comfortable in Western clothes?

Does anyone else's family act like this and does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

Are you Desi?

bet you'll be itching to find yourself a place to live :colone:

it's culture isn't it, those from the Indian subcontinent being more restrictive while Western cultures let people express themselves

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

at least you're not forced to wear the hijab :s-smilie:

Reply 4

Indeterminate

3

This isn't right IMO. And no, I've never come across anyone facing a situation like this, though I get the feeling that many must do :frown:

Wearing Asian clothes doesn't make someone look more cultured/religious. Perhaps you should just politely explain that you don't feel very comfortable in those clothes and see what they say :smile:

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by Indeterminate

This isn't right IMO. And no, I've never come across anyone facing a situation like this, hough I get the feeling that many must do :frown:

Wearing Asian clothes doesn't make someone look more cultured/religious. Perhaps you should just politely explain that you don't feel very comfortable in those clothes and see what they say :smile:

lol we'll get deported straight back and forced to marry someone old enough to be our dad
i'd rather suffer in silence

dunno what you should do OP :/
if your parents are chill talk to them... if not - wait til you move out i guess
that's what i'm doing

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by eoe

Are you Desi?

How did you know??

Original post by Anonymous

at least you're not forced to wear the hijab :s-smilie:

I get reminded about that everyday, but my answer is always that I need to wear it because I want to not because I am being forced. I have to wear it when I'm around one of my uncle's because he is strict about it and I'm scared of him. :frown:

Original post by Indeterminate

This isn't right IMO. And no, I've never come across anyone facing a situation like this, though I get the feeling that many must do :frown:

Wearing Asian clothes doesn't make someone look more cultured/religious. Perhaps you should just politely explain that you don't feel very comfortable in those clothes and see what they say :smile:

If only the older generation could understand that (oh, and the boys in the family). I would explain if I knew they would understand but to them it's a firm of respecting the elders, I don't know if that makes sense.

Original post by Anonymous

lol we'll get deported straight back and forced to marry someone old enough to be our dad
i'd rather suffer in silence

dunno what you should do OP :/
if your parents are chill talk to them... if not - wait til you move out i guess
that's what i'm doing

Lol that is true and I don't want that to happen when I've been avoiding getting married since I was 18. Talking always leads to arguments and the only way I will be allowed to move out is by getting married which I am so not ready for :frown:

Reply 7

eoe

2

Original post by Anonymous

How did you know??

:hugs:

I get reminded about that everyday, but my answer is always that I need to wear it because I want to not because I am being forced. I have to wear it when I'm around one of my uncle's because he is strict about it and I'm scared of him. :frown:

If only the older generation could understand that (oh, and the boys in the family). I would explain if I knew they would understand but to them it's a firm of respecting the elders, I don't know if that makes sense.

Lol that is true and I don't want that to happen when I've been avoiding getting married since I was 18. Talking always leads to arguments and the only way I will be allowed to move out is by getting married which I am so not ready for :frown:

This is an issue that only exists in Desi culture

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Lol that is true and I don't want that to happen when I've been avoiding getting married since I was 18. Talking always leads to arguments and the only way I will be allowed to move out is by getting married which I am so not ready for :frown:

T_T I know it freaking sucks :frown:

well... maybe for university? like transfer unis or go to some far away uni or something?
i get you though :frown:

Reply 9

Amankhanhussain

6

hello dear,
i am really against those who force someone to do something not in their wills . i don't understand how we will progress . if we are not even allowed to wear what we want. if feels so injustice . but if it makes your parents happy then you must try to wear asian cloths.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by eoe

This is an issue that only exists in Desi culture

Lol, I was being sarcastic.

Original post by Anonymous

T_T I know it freaking sucks :frown:

well... maybe for university? like transfer unis or go to some far away uni or something?
i get you though :frown:

It's my final year at uni and I was forced to live at home, but I'm applying for jobs that I have to move out for. Hopefully, I will be out of here next year.

Original post by Amankhanhussain

hello dear,
i am really against those who force someone to do something not in their wills . i don't understand how we will progress . if we are not even allowed to wear what we want. if feels so injustice . but if it makes your parents happy then you must try to wear asian cloths.

Thanks for your reply, but if I did everything that made my parents happy I probably would be married with kids right now. I need todo what makes me happy as well and my parents should understand that.

Reply 11

Annoymous/noname

1

I’m from an Indian household in London. However, I’m allowed to wear whatever I want. But I’m not allowed to wear sleeveless dresses, shirts, or booty shorts or crop tops that show my stomach. Or off the shoulder tops or dresses. :smile:

Reply 12

bitterlemons

8

Original post by shawn_o1

bet you'll be itching to find yourself a place to live :colone:

it's culture isn't it, those from the Indian subcontinent being more restrictive while Western cultures let people express themselves

The western culture is definetly not more free!!!! I just came back from an event with my pakistani clothes on and I am so hurt because I've realised that white people judge me and ignore me more when I'm in my cultural clothes in comparison to western clothes.
I ******* hate the western view on us pakistani people. I hate living in a western society. This is not freedom, its suffocating.

Reply 13

mymelo

15

Original post by Anonymous

So I prefer wearing western clothes but my family want me to wear Asian clothes all the time. I'm not comfortable in Asian clothes, but they always try and force me. Just a few minutes ago, I was in my pyjamas and my mum's uncle came over and when I was in the kitchen my mum shouted at me for wearing what I was.

I'm tired of always arguing about what I'm wearing and getting shouted at by my mum and other elders in the family. I don't even wearing revealing clothes, but they still have a problem. How do I explain to them that I'm comfortable in Western clothes?

Does anyone else's family act like this and does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

maybe try to reassure your parents that you'll wear your desi clothing on religous/cultural celebrations and with older family members so that they don't think you completely want to abandon your culture. they're probably worried about the culture being lost, but tell them that you are still going to partake in your culture even if you arent always wearing the clothes, that you love the clothes but for every day wear you feel more comfortable in western clothing

Reply 14

Sorcerer's Storm

20

Original post by mymelo

maybe try to reassure your parents that you'll wear your desi clothing on religous/cultural celebrations and with older family members so that they don't think you completely want to abandon your culture. they're probably worried about the culture being lost, but tell them that you are still going to partake in your culture even if you arent always wearing the clothes, that you love the clothes but for every day wear you feel more comfortable in western clothing

This thread’s almost 7 years old.

Reply 15

Saima.Hussain.

13

Original post by Anonymous

So I prefer wearing western clothes but my family want me to wear Asian clothes all the time. I'm not comfortable in Asian clothes, but they always try and force me. Just a few minutes ago, I was in my pyjamas and my mum's uncle came over and when I was in the kitchen my mum shouted at me for wearing what I was.

I'm tired of always arguing about what I'm wearing and getting shouted at by my mum and other elders in the family. I don't even wearing revealing clothes, but they still have a problem. How do I explain to them that I'm comfortable in Western clothes?

Does anyone else's family act like this and does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

yep deffo deal with stuff like this honeslty what i would do is start slowely wearing more western clothes like not a huge a jump as there are clothes are asian but westernised you could wear those and slowley move into whatvever. or you could just make a deal with them as say you will wear the asian clothes when family memebers are over as thats probs why they are making you wear it and wear your western clothes other times