xnatlax
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
Hi, I'm a twenty year old language student studying in Spain. I thought it'd be great but since I came here I've been having serious issues sleeping so I've not been settling in very well. I made it to December, but I'm considering leaving early. I would never quit because of a little homesickness but I am really struggling and to be honest I have no idea what to do! I wrote to my uni a few months ago but they just sort of gave me the stick it out attitude; things have not got better. Has anyone left early and if so how did you do it?
0
reply
super_kawaii
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#2
Report 4 years ago
#2
(Original post by xnatlax)
Hi, I'm a twenty year old language student studying in Spain. I thought it'd be great but since I came here I've been having serious issues sleeping so I've not been settling in very well. I made it to December, but I'm considering leaving early. I would never quit because of a little homesickness but I am really struggling and to be honest I have no idea what to do! I wrote to my uni a few months ago but they just sort of gave me the stick it out attitude; things have not got better. Has anyone left early and if so how did you do it?
I did my year abroad a couple of years ago in China and was feeling exactly the same way you are now. I seriously considered leaving although my parents strictly forbade me from coming back to Europe as a whole, despite the fact homesickness and anxiety were causing me serious suicidal tendencies.

Overall I'm glad they did that as, while my anxiety and depression will never be cured, they've ended up a lot better than had I gone home. I'm infinitely stronger emotionally and far more confident that I'd ever have been had I gone home. I'd definitely recommend staying out in Spain for at least 10 months. Looking back, you'll be glad you didn't give up
0
reply
xnatlax
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#3
(Original post by super_kawaii)
I did my year abroad a couple of years ago in China and was feeling exactly the same way you are now. I seriously considered leaving although my parents strictly forbade me from coming back to Europe as a whole, despite the fact homesickness and anxiety were causing me serious suicidal tendencies.

Overall I'm glad they did that as, while my anxiety and depression will never be cured, they've ended up a lot better than had I gone home. I'm infinitely stronger emotionally and far more confident that I'd ever have been had I gone home. I'd definitely recommend staying out in Spain for at least 10 months. Looking back, you'll be glad you didn't give up
Did you develop this on your year abroad or did you have it beforehand?
0
reply
super_kawaii
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#4
Report 4 years ago
#4
(Original post by xnatlax)
Did you develop this on your year abroad or did you have it beforehand?
I had it very mildly beforehand, but my year abroad really exacerbated it. Even if you don't have prior mental health issues, what you're going through is completely normal, even if you go somewhere culturally similar to your home country. You might want to have a look at the 'cycle of homesickness', which is a very real process of adaption. Here's a good link http://www.studyabroad.com/articles/...-emotions.aspx

I stand by my opinion that you shouldn't come back to the UK under any circumstances, as doing so will only send you backwards in terms of adapting to your new host culture, as well as get in the way of your language learning and immersion.
0
reply
sophia5892
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#5
Report 4 years ago
#5
I'd write to your uni explaining that it's not getting any better and asking what your options are. I can understand that when you emailed "a few months ago" they advised sticking it out as I'm guessing you hadn't been abroad long then and therefore hadn't had time to properly deal with the culture shock (it took me 3-4 months in Japan before I was properly adjusted and happy).

It really depends on what your university requires as to what you'll be able to do. For example, mine asks for 7 months of Year Abroad activity so if you've signed up for 12 months of work placements but want to quit after 7, then you've still met the requirements. With a study placement it's a little harder I guess as you're somewhat restricted by the semester dates. But there will most likely be precedent for students leaving placements early in exceptional circumstances. I worked with the Erasmus team at my uni and we dealt with a whole host of issues affecting students' Years Abroad (mental health issues, illness, pregnancy, death in the family, culture shock etc etc.) So you may find you get a completely different response now

Good luck!
0
reply
Lukemcw97
Badges: 7
Rep:
?
#6
Report 2 years ago
#6
(Original post by xnatlax)
Hi, I'm a twenty year old language student studying in Spain. I thought it'd be great but since I came here I've been having serious issues sleeping so I've not been settling in very well. I made it to December, but I'm considering leaving early. I would never quit because of a little homesickness but I am really struggling and to be honest I have no idea what to do! I wrote to my uni a few months ago but they just sort of gave me the stick it out attitude; things have not got better. Has anyone left early and if so how did you do it?
Hey! I'm currently in the same situation just now on my year abroad too, mine is mandatory so far I just feel super depressed. How did your uni end up dealing with it? Were you able to come home early?
0
reply
daniellaa97
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#7
Report 2 years ago
#7
glad to see im not the only one! im here in spain too and honestly, ive never been more miserable. i never get homesick, but somehow, i start to miss home more every day. the uni is proper ****, profs never turn up... just utter chaos tbh, which doesnt help the situation at all. people really need to start talking about this aspect of the year abroad instead of making it look like something out of a hollywood film, because the truth is, i got a massive smack in the face. it’s hard to make friends because the locals are just so judgemental and don’t like socialising with any Erasmus students, and when you do find other Erasmus students, it’s hard to keep in contact and arrange things because everyone has different plans. also, people back home (parents, partners etc), need to realise that when we say we don’t like it, we don’t mean give us the ‘stick it out’ attitude, we generally want support and advice, because that kind of attitude just makes it worse. long story short: so far i hate my YA. hopefully my second semester in Italy will be different. I’m proud of myself for actually getting through this on my own, and you should be too, there are other people who feel exactly the way we do, and it’s such a relief. lastly, i think universities need to cover all aspects of the YA, not just the ‘good’ ones.
0
reply
Natasha2099
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#8
Report 6 months ago
#8
Hi sorry, I know this post is old.

I just want some advice. I’m on my second day of my Erasmus placement in Italy and I absolutely hate it. All I want it to go home. I feel physically sick all the time and can’t stop crying.

Does here come a point where you just decide the pain isn’t worth it?

I don’t want to give up but I can’t stand it here. Constant panic attacks it’s unbearable. Did any of you just go home?

Thank you
0
reply
Quick-use
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#9
Report 6 months ago
#9
(Original post by Natasha2099)
Hi sorry, I know this post is old.

I just want some advice. I’m on my second day of my Erasmus placement in Italy and I absolutely hate it. All I want it to go home. I feel physically sick all the time and can’t stop crying.

Does here come a point where you just decide the pain isn’t worth it?

I don’t want to give up but I can’t stand it here. Constant panic attacks it’s unbearable. Did any of you just go home?

Thank you
Hey there. I'm so sorry you're having a really tough time.

5 years ago, the same happened to me in Spain. And, I did end up going home. I realised that I didn't actually really want to be there and I hadn't mentally prepared myself before the trip. I guess I didn't really realise that I'd be living abroad.

Quite a few other things happened as well which just exacerbated the problem even more.

What's your situation like? Why do you think you're having such a rough time? And, if you did decide to come home, that would be 100% fine. I did and it all worked out. For me, the main reason was that I had actually wanted to go to Japan. After coming back, I mentally prepared myself for a year and then went to Tokyo for a year which I was really, really nervous about after Spain, but I had the time of my life. It worked out!
0
reply
Natasha2099
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#10
Report 6 months ago
#10
(Original post by Quick-use)
Hey there. I'm so sorry you're having a really tough time.

5 years ago, the same happened to me in Spain. And, I did end up going home. I realised that I didn't actually really want to be there and I hadn't mentally prepared myself before the trip. I guess I didn't really realise that I'd be living abroad.

Quite a few other things happened as well which just exacerbated the problem even more.

What's your situation like? Why do you think you're having such a rough time? And, if you did decide to come home, that would be 100% fine. I did and it all worked out. For me, the main reason was that I had actually wanted to go to Japan. After coming back, I mentally prepared myself for a year and then went to Tokyo for a year which I was really, really nervous about after Spain, but I had the time of my life. It worked out!
Hello,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me.

In 2018 my little brother (who I’m very close to) was diagnosed with Cancer. I was with him all the time through him being in hospital. Thankfully he is cancer free now but I am even closer to him now. I think that is the main issue. I miss him and want to be with him. His illness also made my anxiety worse and even though he is better now the affects of him going through it still stick with me.

Furthermore, I have never lived away from home before so going from that to moving to a completely different country has been more daunting than I expected. Before moving, if I ever would think about moving abroad I pushed it out of my mind because it made me anxious and sad so that also probably didn’t help because I didn’t ever think of it properly.

I also don’t speak Italian which I have found really isolating and even scary when I can’t understand what people are saying to me/ what I am reading.

I have decided to try and stay here until the 1st semester is over and then I will go home which has already made me feel better, knowing that I don’t have to be here so long. I have also already booked a trip back home which has helped to see a date in which I will be able to leave.

I really appreciate your advice. I felt so alone. It’s such a beautiful place, I thought I was the only one who could be here and hate it. I’m glad to know there isn’t something wrong with me.

I also like that you mentioned how you’re happy living abroad after. I worried that I would never be blue to do something like that but it’s nice to know it is possible after a little time and preparation.

Thank you so, so much for your reply. It really means a lot to me.
1
reply
Ariea
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#11
Report 5 months ago
#11
Hi, I know this post is old but I’m in the same situation as you, currently on erasmus in Spain and just feel so lost. Seriously debating going home but not sure what to do
0
reply
KCPlmr
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#12
Report 5 months ago
#12
Hey, I was also wondering this, I’m two weeks into my 10 month Erasmus stay in Italy and I’m super depressed and finding it so hard to make friends and go out when I never had this problem before!!

I feel like people will be disappointed in me if I leave and I don’t know how to go about this without messing with my college grant for next year at home or the Erasmus grant I will receive.

Has it improved for you yet?

Also, how did you go about changing it from a year abroad to one semester? I’m finding this difficult as my university won’t allow it so far..
Last edited by KCPlmr; 5 months ago
1
reply
Ariea
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#13
Report 5 months ago
#13
I’m currently 5 weeks in to my 10 month erasmus and I’ve been on the phone to my international relations office back home to see what my options are and what exactly will happen if I decide to go home. I asked how will it work about my grants too. As far as I know she said that 90 days is the minimum stay so as to not repay the erasmus grant (I thought if I leave at all even after 90 days I have to repay it) and she isn’t sure about the grant for next years tuition etc she said she will find it and get back to me. But I feel the same as you I’ll feel embarrassed to go home but I’m just really miserable, I’m the only erasmus student in both my maths classes and have no friends in class because they’re all Spaniards and we’re already in their friend groups more or less when I came in and they keep to theirselves. It’s tough to integrate into their groups especially with a language barrier 😴
1
reply
Maddie_321
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#14
Report 5 months ago
#14
As long as you spend a minimum of 3 months abroad, you won't have to repay all of your grant, what they do is calculate how many days you have been there, to work out how much you are allowed to keep and you repay anything over that amount or at least thats what I've been told.
2
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

With HE fairs postponed, would a virtual HE fair be useful?

Yes (68)
61.82%
No (42)
38.18%

Watched Threads

View All