Sick of being put down about my lack of knowledge. Watch

Anonymous #1
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The one thing that really annoys me the most lately is if I ask a question or say something to someone, sometimes they come back with 'that's something a 12 year old would ask, or do you not k ow that by your age'. I just think it's out of order as no one knows everything and I thought it was better to ask questions and learn than to not ask and tell yourself that you know everything. My boyfriend does it all the time when I'm relaxed and feeling comfortable I will share my thoughts and say something and he will come back with 'you didn't know that at your age' or 'that's something a 12 year old would ask'. I've even been called a retard by people.

Even on my placements as a student nurse on my last placement I was scared of asking questions/showing myself up but I thought well it is better to ask than not ask plus I felt comfortable around them. On my feedback the manager said that I was asking questions that I should already know by now. So yea I obviously shouldn't have asked. I never reach conclusions about things in my head though I will seek information over and over until I am sure that I know most of the facts, befor claiming that I know it. If that made sense lol, I don't know it's just how my brain works.

But yea I don't want to show myself up but if I don't know something that most people are supposed to know, what am I supposed to do? Like there are many famous celebrities who people talk about who I don't know and I'm just there nodding pretending I know them but I don't want to be like this I want to be honest. Am I supposed to Just not ask people and find out myself all the time.
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shawn_o1
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maybe you suffer from a "disability" that makes it such that you don't know things that people expect you to take for granted
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Kevin De Bruyne
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With your boyfriend, tell him how it makes you feel when he says stuff that he shouldn't be saying.
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aamirac
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Don't let it put you down. Asking questions is just a learning curve whom one can aquire great wisdom by doing so. Don't fret about it too much.

Think before you ask questions, as you might not realise that you already know the answer. You'd be surprised by the amount you know that way, you just don't realise it yet. If you are really unsure then ask away.
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fabbysarah
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I agree with SeanFM, tell him that it upsets you :-) What sort of information is it that you don't know? General knowledge (like capital cities etc.) or things like recent celebrity gossip?
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EricPiphany
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DW asking obvious questions is sexy.


Just not when you're trying to escape from a burning building.
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Cherry82
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The one thing that really annoys me the most lately is if I ask a question or say something to someone, sometimes they come back with 'that's something a 12 year old would ask, or do you not k ow that by your age'. I just think it's out of order as no one knows everything and I thought it was better to ask questions and learn than to not ask and tell yourself that you know everything. My boyfriend does it all the time when I'm relaxed and feeling comfortable I will share my thoughts and say something and he will come back with 'you didn't know that at your age' or 'that's something a 12 year old would ask'. I've even been called a retard by people.

Even on my placements as a student nurse on my last placement I was scared of asking questions/showing myself up but I thought well it is better to ask than not ask plus I felt comfortable around them. On my feedback the manager said that I was asking questions that I should already know by now. So yea I obviously shouldn't have asked. I never reach conclusions about things in my head though I will seek information over and over until I am sure that I know most of the facts, befor claiming that I know it. If that made sense lol, I don't know it's just how my brain works.

But yea I don't want to show myself up but if I don't know something that most people are supposed to know, what am I supposed to do? Like there are many famous celebrities who people talk about who I don't know and I'm just there nodding pretending I know them but I don't want to be like this I want to be honest. Am I supposed to Just not ask people and find out myself all the time.
Please do not listen to the user who straight away jumped into conclusions about you having a disability. I am not saying that having a disability isn't a possibility but straight away claiming that as the reason is absurd. I think it's good to ask questions, especially when you are not sure about something. Great minds question everything because you learn more. And you are right about everyone not knowing everything. In order to learn you have to ask somehow. I'm sure even during your placement, some of the questions you had in mind other people may have thought of asking also but were too afraid to do so. Maybe try opening up to your boyfriend about how it makes you feel when he says such things. Remember that there is always the internet, I ask a lot of questions too but using the search engine on Google lol. If people want to be mean after you've asked certain questions don't worry and please do not let this stop you from asking. Always remember you always have the internet. Even though some things on the net are unreliable, most of it is good too. I'd like to ask, what sort of questions did you ask that people responded 'that's something a 12 year old would ask'?
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Zargabaath
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(Original post by EricPiphany)
DW asking obvious questions is sexy.


Just not when you're trying to escape from a burning building.
idk about that. "Where's the fire exit?" seems like a pretty good question to ask in that scenario
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simbasdragon
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If you can, maybe try to discretely google the question you have on your phone if you're afraid of looking incompetent in front of other workers or superiors at placements.

In front of your boyfriend and people you feel comfortable with, you should not feel ashamed to ask questions. Tell your boyfriend that you feel patronised and degraded when he mocks you.
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Maid Marian
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I am always asking questions and normally I'd say it's a good thing as it shows you are interested and curious. However, as you're a student nurse, if the things you're asking questions about are things you really should know, then maybe it's best not to ask too many questions if you want a good report back.
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pickup
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There are several things going on here.

Your boyfriend doesn't sound very respectful. Everyone can't know everything as you know.

Your manager also seems strange. She/he should be praising you for asking questions instead of keeping quiet. Her / his attitude is what makes people keep quiet and never learn. Don't take it personally.

You'll find many people pretend to be more knowledgeable than they are. Just continue to ask questions but perhaps phrase them more carefully. He/ she may be feeling vulnerable themselves and feel threatened by your asking questions. It sounds to me as they are not very professional as their job is to help you not put you down.

Try, ' so I'm right in thinking......?', or just remind me what's the reason for... Be as polite and smile. After the meeting / lecture go over to your manager and thank them for helping you. They'll be very pleased and your evaluations will improve. In fact if you are worried about things after reading your last evaluation go and thank your manager soon. You will be amazed how much your relationship will improve.
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TSR Mustafa
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I hate people who put people down for reasons such as this , ugh makes my blood boil.
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william walker
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(Original post by TSR Mustafa)
I hate people who put people down for reasons such as this , ugh makes my blood boil.
I just hate people. Everybody.
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TheonlyMrsHolmes
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What sort of questions are you talking about OP?

There is nothing wrong with asking questions, it's how you learn, I ask lots of questions
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TheCitizenAct
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Can you give us some examples of questions you've asked which have been deemed 'stupid'? I agree with you in principle, there are no stupid questions and people should be far less afraid than they often are of speaking out, particularly in defiance of what is referred to as the Abilene Paradox.

Also, don't you the word retard. It's very 20th century. Opt for ****tard instead.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Cherry82)
Please do not listen to the user who straight away jumped into conclusions about you having a disability. I am not saying that having a disability isn't a possibility but straight away claiming that as the reason is absurd. I think it's good to ask questions, especially when you are not sure about something. Great minds question everything because you learn more. And you are right about everyone not knowing everything. In order to learn you have to ask somehow. I'm sure even during your placement, some of the questions you had in mind other people may have thought of asking also but were too afraid to do so. Maybe try opening up to your boyfriend about how it makes you feel when he says such things. Remember that there is always the internet, I ask a lot of questions too but using the search engine on Google lol. If people want to be mean after you've asked certain questions don't worry and please do not let this stop you from asking. Always remember you always have the internet. Even though some things on the net are unreliable, most of it is good too. I'd like to ask, what sort of questions did you ask that people responded 'that's something a 12 year old would ask'?
I've wondered if I have which makes me a little slower than others but I'm always daydreaming so it's probably more likely this, when I concentrate I can often follow things. Well one of the questions was at uni in a tutorial nursing class we were on the topic of mobility and joint pain due to dislocation/the arm slipping out of its socket . They were talking about the treatments of mobilising the joint (mainly done by a physio) and I suddenly wondered if mobilising too much might be bad on an elderely frail person, I wondered if passively moving the arm too far could cause dislocation accidently and if it was something to be aware of. So I said 'you know when a therapist mobilises an elderely patient, could they accidently dislocate the arm if they were weak'. The tutor frowned a bit and said 'I certainly hope not, that's never happened that I'm aware of' someone shouted out 'I think you'd be in deep trouble, clinical reasoning and common sense would kick in before that happened'. Then people laughed and my course mate said it was a daft question.

Another one is a stupid convo anyway but I'l tell lol. Yesterday with my boyfriend we were sat on the couch. I had my legs crossed and he said 'I never know how people can be comfortable with their legs crossed, my knee bone clashes with my thigh'. I said 'loads of people do loads of men cross their legs, ive always wondered how some men can be comfortable and others arn't'. He said 'obviously it depends on the size of their balls' I said 'oh, it wasn't that obvious'. He said you should know these things by now' I said why should I I'm not a man, I'm sick of people saying I should know stuff'. He said 'but most people have figured these things out its not deep stuff, it's stuff you learn when you are 12'.

There's loads of others mainly stuff I say to family and also the fact that I don't know where many places are and don't know many celebs etc.
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jazjaz
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Maybe try and have a sense of humour about it and laugh when someone points it out? Unless they are just been over critical a-holes then stand up for yourself.
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Cherry82
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm sick of people saying I should know stuff'. He said 'but most people have figured these things out its not deep stuff, it's stuff you learn when you are 12'.
There's loads of others mainly stuff I say to family and also the fact that I don't know where many places are and don't know many celebs etc.
Lol If I am completely honest, I sincerely did not even know the answers to most of your questions. The point your boyfriend made about the size of a guys balls and crossing legs, it had never crossed my mind. Haha, my mind is always on music, religion, God and education...random things at times but definitely not on how the size of a guy's balls would determine how far he could cross his legs Ah, you seem like an amazing person. There's nothing wrong with daydream...in reality 99.9% of us daydream if not everyone. However if you really are concerned, you could always take a test/assessment that deal with a person's cognitive reasoning, checking if they are any problems.

Regardless of what any one says do not change because in all honesty asking questions increases a person's knowledge. It's natural for human's to ask questions, we have minds and we think. No one is ever too old to learn something, whether it is the most simplest or most complex things in our universe. Growing up, my mother always installed it in us that we shouldn't ever be afraid and ashamed in asking questions to learn. Rather she always reminded me and my siblings that even she learned something new each day from conversing with us. So my dear friend, please don't worry about people and their comments. Continue being inquisitive, continue being you <3
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