Having trouble with my ex, and i'm not sure what to do Watch

TheSwift1998
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This is a long one so be prepared for an essay. I first met my ex in around August of this year, and we immediately clicked as soon as we met. We started talking and within just a couple of weeks of speaking we were technically "together". Around this time, I was still talking to other girls in a flirty manner, but nothing too serious. I came clean only a few days after we were officially together, and she flipped her ****. After a few days of letting her cool off, she agreed that we could work things out as long as i promised never to flirt with anyone else again whilst we were together, which i kept to this day.

Everything was fine for a couple of months until around early November, when i noticed that she was acting off with me in conversations and not talking as much. It was also around this time that she started to mention this guy from her college a lot more, and talking about him frequently. I first thought nothing of it, but then she started to spend less time with me and more time at college with this new guy and she would send me pictures of her and this guy. I eventually got sick of it, and i confronted her about why she was spending so much time with this guy, and she informed me that she'd had a crush on this guy for several weeks now. I wanted to flip my ****, but i didn't and i was able to remain calm. She told me that she wasn't happy in the relationship anymore and whenever we argued she found solace in the new guy, and after this conversation we broke up. She also told me that she never loved me because she "doesn't understand what love is" (she later told me that this was a "heat of the moment" thing and she didn't mean it).

We didn't speak for a few days, until she came back telling me that she still wanted to be with me, but she couldn't because it would hurt too much to come back to me. She then admitted that she still loved me, and after a long conversation we agreed to try and make things work again. Everything was going fine for a few days until i mentioned that my mother wouldn't approve of us trying to make things work again, which was obviously a not very smart things to say, and things went back to arguing and then ignoring eachother. I'm honestly stuck on what to do, i don't know whether i should leave her alone for a while longer, or whether i should beg for her back.

P.S. partway through the relationship i got a little crush on a friend from college, but the crush was so small that i didn't even realise it was actually a crush until thinking back on it. I told her about it after we broke up (again, probably not the smartest move) and i think this has had a huge effect on whether i can fix this relationship or not.

'''''UPDATE''''': I've decided to give up on making thing work with my ex as over the past few weeks i've started talking to my old crush again, and things are going well with her. I still miss my ex but things with her are finished now, and i'm ready to move on.

''''''''FURTHER UPDATE''''''''. I'm nowin a new relationship with my former crush, so no need to think about my ex anymore haha.
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throwaway2222
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You're both falling for other people - you're both either very self conscious or not actually in love with each other but in love with the concept of falling in love.
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TheSwift1998
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(Original post by throwaway2222)
You're both falling for other people - you're both either very self conscious or not actually in love with each other but in love with the concept of falling in love.
I've been in love a few times now, but things just felt different with her. I really thought i could make things work but i'm still so unsure.
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Spongebob'sPants
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Doesnt seem like this is working out very well...

I'd let it go, personally.
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iheartdjokovic
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(Original post by TheSwift1998)
I've been in love a few times now, but things just felt different with her. I really thought i could make things work but i'm still so unsure.
How old are you?
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SophieSmall
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The relationship is a mess and neither of you are mature enough to even talk about it without flipping at each other, let alone solve the problem.

End it.
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TheSwift1998
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(Original post by iheartdjokovic)
How old are you?
17
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TheSwift1998
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(Original post by Spongebob'sPants)
Doesnt seem like this is working out very well...

I'd let it go, personally.
It's much harder to let go then you'd think
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TheSwift1998
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(Original post by SophieSmall)
The relationship is a mess and neither of you are mature enough to even talk about it without flipping at each other, let alone solve the problem.

End it.
I've tried talking to her about it but she just shuts me out
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SophieSmall
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(Original post by TheSwift1998)
I've tried talking to her about it but she just shuts me out
Well then tough, she doesn't want to hear it and the relationship is over.
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Cryosleep
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MGTOW.
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TheSwift1998
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(Original post by SophieSmall)
Well then tough, she doesn't want to hear it and the relationship is over.
Alright, no need to be such a ***** about it....
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throwaway2222
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(Original post by TheSwift1998)
Alright, no need to be such a ***** about it....
She's just giving you the cold hard truth buddy. The quicker you realise this, the quicker you'll be able to move on.
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TheSwift1998
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(Original post by throwaway2222)
She's just giving you the cold hard truth buddy. The quicker you realise this, the quicker you'll be able to move on.
Me and my ex had a long long conversation last night, and we admitted that we still love eachother but that we have to let go. So we did.
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throwaway2222
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(Original post by TheSwift1998)
Me and my ex had a long long conversation last night, and we admitted that we still love eachother but that we have to let go. So we did.
It's good if you ended on good terms. It means that in the future something could happen if you both mature enough.
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GingerJoe
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(Original post by throwaway2222)
It's good if you ended on good terms. It means that in the future something could happen if you both mature enough.
I think it might be good to add that you shouldn't hope for this outcome. Live your life and enjoy it. It was meant to be then it will happen one day.
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phunky_fresh
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(Original post by GingerJoe)
I think it might be good to add that you shouldn't hope for this outcome. Live your life and enjoy it. It was meant to be then it will happen one day.
Agreed
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Dan.N
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(Original post by TheSwift1998)
This is a long one so be prepared for an essay. I first met my ex in around August of this year, and we immediately clicked as soon as we met. We started talking and within just a couple of weeks of speaking we were technically "together". Around this time, I was still talking to other girls in a flirty manner, but nothing too serious. I came clean only a few days after we were officially together, and she flipped her ****. After a few days of letting her cool off, she agreed that we could work things out as long as i promised never to flirt with anyone else again whilst we were together, which i kept to this day.

Everything was fine for a couple of months until around early November, when i noticed that she was acting off with me in conversations and not talking as much. It was also around this time that she started to mention this guy from her college a lot more, and talking about him frequently. I first thought nothing of it, but then she started to spend less time with me and more time at college with this new guy and she would send me pictures of her and this guy. I eventually got sick of it, and i confronted her about why she was spending so much time with this guy, and she informed me that she'd had a crush on this guy for several weeks now. I wanted to flip my ****, but i didn't and i was able to remain calm. She told me that she wasn't happy in the relationship anymore and whenever we argued she found solace in the new guy, and after this conversation we broke up. She also told me that she never loved me because she "doesn't understand what love is" (she later told me that this was a "heat of the moment" thing and she didn't mean it).

We didn't speak for a few days, until she came back telling me that she still wanted to be with me, but she couldn't because it would hurt too much to come back to me. She then admitted that she still loved me, and after a long conversation we agreed to try and make things work again. Everything was going fine for a few days until i mentioned that my mother wouldn't approve of us trying to make things work again, which was obviously a not very smart things to say, and things went back to arguing and then ignoring eachother. I'm honestly stuck on what to do, i don't know whether i should leave her alone for a while longer, or whether i should beg for her back.

P.S. partway through the relationship i got a little crush on a friend from college, but the crush was so small that i didn't even realise it was actually a crush until thinking back on it. I told her about it after we broke up (again, probably not the smartest move) and i think this has had a huge effect on whether i can fix this relationship or not,
If you are still into her, think of her and care about her then you should be back with her, parents are good people who always want best things for children but you don't always have to ****ing listen to them, if your relationship doesn't make anything worse, affect negatively your life or study, so why must bother

She seems to be a complicated girl, why not try sitting together, talking face to face and asking/answering everything you 2 still doubt about each other? That should be a good way, it worked for me in previous experiences. Maybe she still has sth hidden in her mind, or she can't speak it out. Don't give it up if you still have feelings for her and she wanna comes back. But in the worst case, if that's just a playing around game then leave it, consider carefully but listen to your mind, literally and emotionally together.
Goodluck dude
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throwaway2222
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(Original post by GingerJoe)
I think it might be good to add that you shouldn't hope for this outcome. Live your life and enjoy it. It was meant to be then it will happen one day.
Yeah forgot to add that part
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TheSwift1998
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(Original post by Dan.N)
If you are still into her, think of her and care about her then you should be back with her, parents are good people who always want best things for children but you don't always have to ****ing listen to them, if your relationship doesn't make anything worse, affect negatively your life or study, so why must bother

She seems to be a complicated girl, why not try sitting together, talking face to face and asking/answering everything you 2 still doubt about each other? That should be a good way, it worked for me in previous experiences. Maybe she still has sth hidden in her mind, or she can't speak it out. Don't give it up if you still have feelings for her and she wanna comes back. But in the worst case, if that's just a playing around game then leave it, consider carefully but listen to your mind, literally and emotionally together.
Goodluck dude
So something else happened... surprise surprise. After the conversation where we agreed to let go, i messaged her asking why she was so quick to give up on us if she really truly loved me. She told me that she does love me but we both need time apart to think things over. I agreed with her on this, so we've decided to go 'no contact' for x amount of time. And that one day we can talk again and maybe who knows, maybe i can get my girl back. But let's not act too hastily yet, it's still very early days.
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