Life after uni, friendship circles ?? Watch

Anonymous #1
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Ive graduated and ive been working part time, just untill I find a proper job and I have, I start in January. However since then I have been so bored at work they only give me one or two shifts a week sometimes none. Ive asked for more but they dont.

My friends from uni are good and we have a great laugh I hope the friendship lasts and we all live in the same city, well the lads do. I still talk to my friend from college and one from school, now and then but I havent seen them in a while just spoken on the phone as they are working.

It seems some people are busy, is this how it goes when you leave uni ? I mean when/who do you meet up with ?

I keep thinking back to how good its was at uni, we had a good circle, I was always seeing and getting to know people who I got on with and joked with. I probably wont see some now.

Hows life after uni treating you ?
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dhr90
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I've only kept in touch with one person from uni, we have similar tastes in music and sport. Meet up a couple of times a year for drinks. I wasn't massively social, but everyone I've since spoken to has somewhat gone their own way, moving away and what not, they keep in touch with one or two close friends, but otherwise, everyone from uni is now just a facebook friend. Its only natural really to spread out and talk less as work/new friendships get in the way or develop.
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redleader1
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(Original post by dhr90)
I've only kept in touch with one person from uni, we have similar tastes in music and sport. Meet up a couple of times a year for drinks. I wasn't massively social, but everyone I've since spoken to has somewhat gone their own way, moving away and what not, they keep in touch with one or two close friends, but otherwise, everyone from uni is now just a facebook friend. Its only natural really to spread out and talk less as work/new friendships get in the way or develop.
How do you cope with that then ? I'm and extrovert and very social so not hanging out much feels very weird sometimes sad. Hopefully when I start work it'll help take time away

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DylanJ42
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(Original post by redleader1)
How do you cope with that then ? I'm and extrovert and very social so not hanging out much feels very weird sometimes sad. Hopefully when I start work it'll help take time away

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why don't you go out clubbing and meet some new friends from your local area?
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dhr90
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(Original post by redleader1)
How do you cope with that then ? I'm and extrovert and very social so not hanging out much feels very weird sometimes sad. Hopefully when I start work it'll help take time away

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It sucks. I've never been into going out socialising all the time, so I just live with it. I have to live with it until I get another job where I will meet more people or go on to do a masters degree. No-one from college moved back here so there wasn't really a choice, it just happened. I think of the money I'm not spending on socialising which is going to a house deposit or a masters degree.
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Anonymous #2
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Yeah I'm kinda worried about friends after uni. I'm in my final year and have good friends at uni, but I'll be moving city afterwards (as will loads of people - I do medicine so people tend to spread out a lot from where I'm studying), so I'll probably not really have any friends where I'm living next year.

I'm single as well which makes a big difference I think. If you have a partner, then I think a lack of friends is less important, since you still have someone for company etc.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I'm kinda worried about friends after uni. I'm in my final year and have good friends at uni, but I'll be moving city afterwards (as will loads of people - I do medicine so people tend to spread out a lot from where I'm studying), so I'll probably not really have any friends where I'm living next year.

I'm single as well which makes a big difference I think. If you have a partner, then I think a lack of friends is less important, since you still have someone for company etc.
Yeah exactly im thinking, who is that person that you talk to ie just hang out. Im single too. Its not too bad for you your doing medicine you will meet plenty of people in your field.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by dhr90)
It sucks. I've never been into going out socialising all the time, so I just live with it. I have to live with it until I get another job where I will meet more people or go on to do a masters degree. No-one from college moved back here so there wasn't really a choice, it just happened. I think of the money I'm not spending on socialising which is going to a house deposit or a masters degree.
Thats what im thinking , who is that person that you talk to when you want/need to ? I suppose thinking its natural that people drift apart helps as it happens to everyone.

For me boredom doesnt help either.
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Anonymous #1
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BUMP
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UWS
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I was just about to make a thread until I saw this.

I'm pretty much in the same situation as you. Next year I'll graduate and all the 'friends' I met at uni will probably not talk to me any more. It's a sad state but it's bound to happen. I do enjoy being at uni with them, sharing stories and talking but once uni is over, the fun is likely to be over too...

I mean what else can you talk about apart from "how's job hunting?", "oh, it's good". All this small talk won't last very long.

So I guess I'll have to enjoy what I have left because in 6-7 months time I'll only really have 1 or 2 REAL friends left.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by UWS)
I was just about to make a thread until I saw this.

I'm pretty much in the same situation as you. Next year I'll graduate and all the 'friends' I met at uni will probably not talk to me any more. It's a sad state but it's bound to happen. I do enjoy being at uni with them, sharing stories and talking but once uni is over, the fun is likely to be over too...

I mean what else can you talk about apart from "how's job hunting?", "oh, it's good". All this small talk won't last very long.

So I guess I'll have to enjoy what I have left because in 6-7 months time I'll only really have 1 or 2 REAL friends left.
You can still talk about general things, im a guy so we can talk about work, the girls there what the job is like ect. How do you cope with that ? Who do you talk to. When your working its ok because it passes the time.

But people are like oh im going out with my friends but its like from where ?
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Conkerr
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hows life after uni treating you ?
Basically the same as you. Except we don't live in the same city at all so it's even worse... After our master's degree we all had an internship to do abroad. So some are in Cyprus, others in Malta, Germany, Spain, etc...

I haven't seen anyone since the last party we had after the end of uni in May . I don't know if I'll see them again. As you said, everyone has their life now.

It's true that it's hard to go from "seeing everyone every day, even after uni or when there is no class" to "seeing noone anymore". But what can you do. I used to go out all the time with them. Watching football games, partying, going to the beach etc. All kinds of stuff. Now I don't go out anymore.

If you have other friends, hang out with them more. If you still see some people from uni, that's good, keep them in your friends. What about the others? Nothing to do, move on. You can try to see them again and see if they seem receptive.
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redleader1
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(Original post by Conkerr)
Basically the same as you. Except we don't live in the same city at all so it's even worse... After our master's degree we all had an internship to do abroad. So some are in Cyprus, others in Malta, Germany, Spain, etc...

I haven't seen anyone since the last party we had after the end of uni in May . I don't know if I'll see them again. As you said, everyone has their life now.

It's true that it's hard to go from "seeing everyone every day, even after uni or when there is no class" to "seeing noone anymore". But what can you do. I used to go out all the time with them. Watching football games, partying, going to the beach etc. All kinds of stuff. Now I don't go out anymore.

If you have other friends, hang out with them more. If you still see some people from uni, that's good, keep them in your friends. What about the others? Nothing to do, move on. You can try to see them again and see if they seem receptive.
It weird its like what do you do now then ? Wait till you make friends at work, but works different. Having a partner helps though, I think.
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Professor Oak
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Once you leave uni you do lose touch with some friends--it's only natural as people move cities and get WAY busier.

What sucks the most is that you don't just get people turning up any more--things require actual organising.
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redleader1
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(Original post by Professor Oak)
Once you leave uni you do lose touch with some friends--it's only natural as people move cities and get WAY busier.

What sucks the most is that you don't just get people turning up any more--things require actual organising.
Yeah exactly, at uni people would pop up in the library, SU, etc
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Conkerr
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(Original post by redleader1)
It weird its like what do you do now then ? Wait till you make friends at work, but works different. Having a partner helps though, I think.
I hang out with other friends, I do more things which require noone else (watching stuff, playing video games, etc). Did I prefer my old life, when I was still at uni? Yes. But I've accepted that things would be different.

It's hard to lose people you've known for 5 years and that you used to see everyday. But life is hard...!
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username418231
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ive graduated and ive been working part time, just untill I find a proper job and I have, I start in January. However since then I have been so bored at work they only give me one or two shifts a week sometimes none. Ive asked for more but they dont.

My friends from uni are good and we have a great laugh I hope the friendship lasts and we all live in the same city, well the lads do. I still talk to my friend from college and one from school, now and then but I havent seen them in a while just spoken on the phone as they are working.

It seems some people are busy, is this how it goes when you leave uni ? I mean when/who do you meet up with ?

I keep thinking back to how good its was at uni, we had a good circle, I was always seeing and getting to know people who I got on with and joked with. I probably wont see some now.

Hows life after uni treating you ?
I'm in my final year of university but I only have two friends - both from my university hometown. I don't know if I will stay in my university hometown once I graduate but I intend on staying in contact with these good friends only. I used to have a group of friends on my course but they were awful towards me so I ditched them, and I've had to cut off contact with my ex-flatmates/housmates because they were so horrible to me.

At the end of the day, not everyone you meet/live with at university will be true friends for life. These days it's so much easier to stay in contact with others because of technology, and if a friendship is meant to last then it will, regardless of 'obstacles' such as jobs, living away, etc.
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redleader1
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(Original post by Dee Leigh)
I'm in my final year of university but I only have two friends - both from my university hometown. I don't know if I will stay in my university hometown once I graduate but I intend on staying in contact with these good friends only. I used to have a group of friends on my course but they were awful towards me so I ditched them, and I've had to cut off contact with my ex-flatmates/housmates because they were so horrible to me.

At the end of the day, not everyone you meet/live with will be true friends for life. These days it's so much easier to stay in contact with others because of technology and if a friendship is meant to last then it will.
Love the last line . If it's meant to be it will even though it's not a relationship the same can be applied to a friendship.

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Jay_ward
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I only meet with University friends once a year tbh since I finished uni ( which was 2 years ago). I have friends who are in Nottingham (College and School friends) but meet them like once every 2 months tbh.

Thing is that all my friends are busy and tbh I just want to make as much money as possible so that I can buy a house.
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Chris22
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It's a sad part of growing older. At Uni, we could all just be sat in our living room on a Friday night, and at about 7PM, someone could just say "shall we go out?". Within a few hours, we had all got ready and before you knew it, had a great night.

As we all now live in different cities, even meeting up takes weeks of advanced planning now...
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