Anyone else love being a straight white male?

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KingBradly
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#1
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#1
Every day I wake up and think "Yes! Another day of being privileged". I get dressed, and it takes me a matter of a few minutes: I don't have to cover myself in make up because I already look great, being that I'm a straight white male. I don't have to make my skin look lighter to cater to the demands of the media, because it's already pearly white beautiful.

I leave my door, go to the tube station, don't even have to tap at the gates; my privilege just allows me to glide right through.

I get on the tube, pregnant ladies and PoC move out the way for me to sit down on the priority seats, and I manspread my legs out so far the whole coach can see the bulging privilege in my jeans.

Ticket checkers come over, and they just smile at me, give me a wink and pass on by.

I get to the office: don't have to do diddly squat. I'm a straight white male, so I just get my pretty secretary to bend over and pick up my gold plated fountain pen (which was awarded to me for being a straight white male) all day, as I keep purposely dropping it on my lion skin (his name was Brian) rug.

Then after a day of that, I go home and shag my maid, eat a steak and finish off with a bowl of truffles and cream, then smoke a fat cigar whilst laughing at my compilation of charity TV spots in my private cinema.

Then I get comfy in my silk sheets, breath in a deep breath of privilege, and go to sleep.
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scrotgrot
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#2
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#2
A perfect day :five:
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username1854431
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#3
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#3
I wish I had that.... :moon:
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iamthetruth
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#4
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#4
Of course you do. You have it better than the rest of us.
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halal kebab5
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#5
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#5
meanwhile all the white skets gettin shagged by big black men
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KingBradly
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#6
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#6
(Original post by halal kebab5)
meanwhile all the white skets gettin shagged by big black men
*white women
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william walker
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#7
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#7
I love being a Protestant, white male.
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stop888
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#8
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#8
You've described my day perfectly (not)
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K.C
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#9
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#9
yep
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Katty3
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#10
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#10
As I'm neither straight nor male...

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Goaded
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#11
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#11
100%
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asdfaeth
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#12
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#12
what the **** is this


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PrincessZara
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#13
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#13
(Original post by halal kebab5)
meanwhile all the white skets gettin shagged by big black men
Looooool the OP was being an ******* but seriously
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PrincessZara
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#14
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#14
Sooner or later you won't have these privileges. Enjoy them to your full potential.
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Illiberal Liberal
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#15
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#15
(Original post by PrincessZara)
Sooner or later you won't have these privileges.
Sounds ominous...
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BookBird
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#16
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#16
This made me laugh so hard I peed myself.
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Aristotle's' Disciple
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#17
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#17
Being a brown male I occasionally ponder why I was dealt such a cruel hand by whatever omnipotent power controls our destinies. But then the moment passes and I swiftly return to being the subservient Asian nerd my privileged white male friends all know and love.

One of them asks whether I was thinking about the curry being cooked at home or a distant relative living in poverty in the east and we have a jolly good laugh about it.
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stefl14
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Aristotle's' Disciple)
Being a brown male I occasionally ponder why I was dealt such a cruel hand by whatever omnipotent power controls our destinies. But then the moment passes and I swiftly return to being the subservient Asian nerd my privileged white male friends all know and love.

One of them asks whether I was thinking about the curry being cooked at home or a distant relative living in poverty in the east and we have a jolly good laugh about it.
Look on the bright side mate. At least you're not a woman.
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TheonlyMrsHolmes
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#19
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#19
Lmao XD I'm crying!
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_Fergo
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#20
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#20
That was actually clever... For once.

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