trying to help my boyfriend stop smoking

Hi all. I just started dating a really great guy, very sweet and great to talk to. I already care about him a lot and I can tell it's going to be a relationship that will last awhile. But he smokes marijuana, which does worry me. I know it's not going to kill him to smoke once in awhile, but I have asthma from exposure to smoky air (and a few other sources) and I wouldn't want that to happen to him. (He doesn't smoke around me or anything, but I sometimes smell it on him. Not the sexiest smell in the world, it must be said. He's overall very polite about it; I've told him I don't necessarily approve). He also admits that he smokes more than he should. I know I can't change him, and he won't quit unless he wants to, but what can I do to help him?

Hi all. I just started dating a really great guy, very sweet and great to talk to. I already care about him a lot and I can tell it's going to be a relationship that will last awhile. But he smokes marijuana, which does worry me. I know it's not going to kill him to smoke once in awhile, but I have asthma from exposure to smoky air (and a few other sources) and I wouldn't want that to happen to him. (He doesn't smoke around me or anything, but I sometimes smell it on him. Not the sexiest smell in the world, it must be said. He's overall very polite about it; I've told him I don't necessarily approve). He also admits that he smokes more than he should. I know I can't change him, and he won't quit unless he wants to, but what can I do to help him?

Hi all. I just started dating a really great guy, very sweet and great to talk to. I already care about him a lot and I can tell it's going to be a relationship that will last awhile. But he smokes marijuana, which does worry me. I know it's not going to kill him to smoke once in awhile, but I have asthma from exposure to smoky air (and a few other sources) and I wouldn't want that to happen to him. (He doesn't smoke around me or anything, but I sometimes smell it on him. Not the sexiest smell in the world, it must be said. He's overall very polite about it; I've told him I don't necessarily approve). He also admits that he smokes more than he should. I know I can't change him, and he won't quit unless he wants to, but what can I do to help him?

I think cjgbr's suggestion of an ultimatum is totally unreasonable. He doesn't smoke around you and it doesn't affect you at all, so leave him be. You've told him your views, which is fine and your right. However if you then start trying to impose your views on him and talk him into quitting you're being too pushy.

You talk about 'helping' him..to be honest there doesn't seem to be any sort of problem which he needs or wants help with. He seems to be happy, comfortable and stable with the way his life is. Maybe you need a bit of help in learning to accept other people as they are. At this early stage in the relationship, when there seem to be no negative effects on you or him, I think you'd be better to leave it.

Give him a choice you or the drugs, if he has any sense he will drop the dope

my guy used 2 smoke..i really did lke him n wntd 2b with him but i couldn't stand the smoking so i basically said its me or the fags. it seems harsh n u feel lke a right bitch doin tht 2 sum1 but if he really does like u he will drop it. my guy did 4 8months but started again n i walked out.the time we spent apart he realised and appreciated what we had with me.

perhaps u shud just ask him and see what the outcome is. if he says no then hes not worth having

Best to leave him to it. If you're forever on his case with telling him to stop, you'll wind him up and end up getting dumped.