All my friends have abandoned me

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
All my uni friends, I have not seen them once since the end of uni (June). We live in differents cities (and they are far away).

My 1st best friend that I've known for 12 years has a girlfriend and a job. Doesn't have time to give me anymore.

My 2nd best friend that I've known for 8 years doesn't want to see me anymore because I am friend with a girl he dislikes (see below).

That girl and all the other friends we have in common are distancing themselves from me. I like that girl and I told her in November. I don't see them nearly as much as I used to.

That's life, I get it. But it sucks. Friendship is so overrated. I have no questions, I just wanted to say it. Please don't tell me to find other friends, they will abandon me too.
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 5 years ago
#2
Funnily enough, the same thing happened with me, except I'm in high school. Three of my friends literally left me for no good reason whatsoever; and even though I sit alone quietly they started to get all the people in my year to practically 'bully' me (including taking the piss out of me thinking it was without my knowledge, taking pictures 'secret' pictures which I saw them doing, blah blah.) And I know it feels like it's your fault, but trust me - it's not, I felt like that too. I can tell by your 'find other friends, they will abandon me too.' You have to learn that if these people do not want to spend time with you, these are not 'friends' and you shouldn't spend your time moping over them, even though it's hard not to. Another thing? You WILL find friends soon, you can trust me - I can't tell you where and when, but for now, just try to put up with being alone (I know, it's hard.) Friendship can be great, if you were meant to be with that person. Some friendships are formed with people who really were never meant to get along, and those friendships were destined to crash on the very day they were made.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Funnily enough, the same thing happened with me, except I'm in high school. Three of my friends literally left me for no good reason whatsoever; and even though I sit alone quietly they started to get all the people in my year to practically 'bully' me (including taking the piss out of me thinking it was without my knowledge, taking pictures 'secret' pictures which I saw them doing, blah blah.) And I know it feels like it's your fault, but trust me - it's not, I felt like that too. I can tell by your 'find other friends, they will abandon me too.' You have to learn that if these people do not want to spend time with you, these are not 'friends' and you shouldn't spend your time moping over them, even though it's hard not to. Another thing? You WILL find friends soon, you can trust me - I can't tell you where and when, but for now, just try to put up with being alone (I know, it's hard.) Friendship can be great, if you were meant to be with that person. Some friendships are formed with people who really were never meant to get along, and those friendships were destined to crash on the very day they were made.
I know right, you've known them for years, you've spend thousands of hours with them, and ohhh, they're gone. For no reason at all or for stupid reasons.

Sorry for your 'friends'. It's even worse, I mean, it's already bad when they leave for no reason but bully you? Scumbags.

Yeah... Thanks for trying to comfort me but I really don't know. There are always problems when people are involved. Almost nothing ever lasts.
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Anonymous #3
#4
Report 5 years ago
#4
This is sad because it will probably happen to me too. I'm just preparing for it as I graduate in a few months time....

You'll find other people outside of uni, it's harder but many uni friends are only friends while you're in uni, only the odd 1 or 2 will actually keep in contact.
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hejraat
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#5
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#5
Don't over-invest emotionally into anyone but your parents
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
This is sad because it will probably happen to me too. I'm just preparing for it as I graduate in a few months time....

You'll find other people outside of uni, it's harder but many uni friends are only friends while you're in uni, only the odd 1 or 2 will actually keep in contact.
True. Good luck because it's tough. I mean you see those guys every day 5 years in a row, spend most of your time with them and then when uni is over they're gone.

Yes but even my other friends - those outside of uni, they end up leaving too.
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#7
(Original post by hejraat)
Don't over-invest emotionally into anyone but your parents
I don't often like someone but when I do you're right it becomes someone really important in my life. Hard to change that, it's in your personality
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Anonymous #2
#8
Report 5 years ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
I know right, you've known them for years, you've spend thousands of hours with them, and ohhh, they're gone. For no reason at all or for stupid reasons.

Sorry for your 'friends'. It's even worse, I mean, it's already bad when they leave for no reason but bully you? Scumbags.

Yeah... Thanks for trying to comfort me but I really don't know. There are always problems when people are involved. Almost nothing ever lasts.
I completely agree. You spend everyday of every month of every year with them, until they make up some weak excuse and turn into a major-********. :confused:

Also, thanks for your support ! Yeah, I agree. It's absolutely ridiculous, but I've learnt to live with it - you can tell none of them will go far in life anyway (If I say so myself..) And, of course, it's life lessons. The sooner you realise some people are ******s - the easier life gets. Once it happens; you never have to deal with it again because you know what to look out for. I'm almost glad it's happened, I don't want to waste my time with people who are capable of that when I could be doing something productive.

'Almost nothing ever lasts' Sad but true I think with true friendship, if you pardon my metaphor, is almost like a gem. Rare to find but great when you do. I mean come on, most people we share oxygen with seem to be completely brainless! But there's someone out there who would be perfect for us, and I think it's just being optimistic and hoping they'll show up sometime.
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sr90
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#9
Report 5 years ago
#9
Everyone at uni didn't bother with me once we all graduated too, except for my best friend who I still speak to daily. A few of them still live in the same city as me but haven't even bothered to message me once

It used to bother me a lot but I guess if they don't make any effort then clearly they aren't worth being friends with
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