Social anxiety and getting a job

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samkent6
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Okay so sorry if this is long:
The last two years have been really difficult for me, when I finished school I went to college for 1 year and then left to work with my dad for another year. Throughout the first year at college I didn't even think about working a part time job, I was too caught up in my subject. Now I am 18 years old (a guy) and back at college studying photography at level 3, so it isn't easy once again, but I enjoy it a lot! Now I want to get a job on the weekend so I can eventually buy some camera gear, but I have never been employed by a company or worked in a busy environment before. I'm a naturally socially anxious person, always have been, I have had 2 interviews since starting in September and both were the worst experiences of my life.. I just couldn't think straight and stuttered so much, probably to the point that he thought I was ******ed or something. I would really appreciate any advice on how to deal with my social anxiety before job interviews and at college in general so I can meet more people. Thanks for reading!


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samkent6
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^^
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shawn_o1
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join a club of your interest at college, I'm sure there's one that is related to photography
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Drax101
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Practice, practice, practice.

Be sociable everyday, talk to the postman, the shop assistant, people at the bus stop, just talk, about anything, the weather, what their plans for Christmas are, the latest news, about anything, people enjoy a conversation.

Their are some good internet resources and books out there for social anxiety, I would look into it.

Make eye contact, have a laugh, be charming, know about the other person, ask about the other person, say something relevant and relax.

Easy said then done, you need to keep socialising and talking. As the above poster mentioned, joining a club would help.

Good luck!
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samkent6
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(Original post by Drax101)
Practice, practice, practice.

Be sociable everyday, talk to the postman, the shop assistant, people at the bus stop, just talk, about anything, the weather, what their plans for Christmas are, the latest news, about anything, people enjoy a conversation.

Their are some good internet resources and books out there for social anxiety, I would look into it.

Make eye contact, have a laugh, be charming, know about the other person, ask about the other person, say something relevant and relax.

Easy said then done, you need to keep socialising and talking. As the above poster mentioned, joining a club would help.

Good luck!
Thank you! I can perfectly have a conversation with someone if they are the ones coming up with things to talk about, I think my main issue is running out of things to say mid conversation and keeping it going. As for the job side of things, I really hope that I get something soon, because how else am I going to explain the reasonably sized gap on my CV :/


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Drax101
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(Original post by samkent6)
Thank you! I can perfectly have a conversation with someone if they are the ones coming up with things to talk about, I think my main issue is running out of things to say mid conversation and keeping it going. As for the job side of things, I really hope that I get something soon, because how else am I going to explain the reasonably sized gap on my CV :/


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The main thing to do here is to listen if you run out of things to say. The you can create threads, so for example if the person said "I seen Star Wars over the weekend", you could expand on their general opinion of the movie, what other movies they are thinking of watching or what else they did.

Say something relevant or anything or something about them or their interests.
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BKS
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If the job search isn't going well then start volunteering in the mean time, or keep it going once you get a job if you can. Ideally try to find something that will challenge you socially but you'll get the benefit of being able to be open with them about your anxiety. Everyone volunteers to get something back out of it too (for you that'd be the social practice) and good organisations to volunteer for will support you with that as a way of thanking you. Google for your local volunteer centre.

More broadly you need to work on the anxiety. Talking about it and identifying what my issues are helped me, from there it's about baby steps to tackle them. It looks/sounds like a dodgy conference at an airport hotel but I found this website helpful in working out what those baby steps should be. I think it sounds weird to people who haven't experienced anxiety but being told to go talk to people often isn't enough, you may find you need to think through ways of doing that.

Maybe I just like to over organise but I recommend setting yourself actual SMART goals that will help you deal with it. In doing so you commit yourself to the process more and give yourself a trigger to realise you've done well. It's really important to start recognising the social things you can do well or make progress on and seeing those as things you can build on.
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reese_seyton
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i have that very bad experience looking for a job for the first time, yeah i failed not just once or twice but perhaps 5 times already. and so what i did was research some tips in the internet for interviews. i rehearsed every possible lines for it. at first im quiet nervous but as the time goes i got used to it.
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may_1
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Hi. i completely understand how you feel. I have social anxiety too and its really crap. I used to just try and ignore it and I thought I would eventually grow out of it and it was some childish phase but it wouldn't go away- i struggled massively at school and I have also found job interviews incredibly scary. remember lots of people find job interviews nerve wracking.

However because I was getting nervous around people my own age and in normal social situations I decided to finally do something about- it didnt seem to be getting any better by itself. I went to my doctor and she prescribed me 10mg of propanolol and its helped me so much. Its a beta blocker and it blocks adrenaline, so it stops the physical sensations of like racing heart and that general nervous feeling us social anxiety-ers are far too familiar with. I was really reluctant to use it at first because I thought if Im going to try medication Im like giving in and failing. But i have like the lowest dose and its completely safe, no addictive element at all. I take it before events such as speaking in front of people, meeting a load of new people or having a job interivew. I dont take it on a day to day basis so I still have anxiety but its helped in the events in my life which used to have the biggest impact on my anxiety. Dont be scared to turn to medication it could really help, especially as you only want it to help you get a job! :-) Plus GP's will prescribe it really easily because its so safe. Message me if you want to chat. I know how you feel !
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samkent6
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(Original post by may_1)
Hi. i completely understand how you feel. I have social anxiety too and its really crap. I used to just try and ignore it and I thought I would eventually grow out of it and it was some childish phase but it wouldn't go away- i struggled massively at school and I have also found job interviews incredibly scary. remember lots of people find job interviews nerve wracking.

However because I was getting nervous around people my own age and in normal social situations I decided to finally do something about- it didnt seem to be getting any better by itself. I went to my doctor and she prescribed me 10mg of propanolol and its helped me so much. Its a beta blocker and it blocks adrenaline, so it stops the physical sensations of like racing heart and that general nervous feeling us social anxiety-ers are far too familiar with. I was really reluctant to use it at first because I thought if Im going to try medication Im like giving in and failing. But i have like the lowest dose and its completely safe, no addictive element at all. I take it before events such as speaking in front of people, meeting a load of new people or having a job interivew. I dont take it on a day to day basis so I still have anxiety but its helped in the events in my life which used to have the biggest impact on my anxiety. Dont be scared to turn to medication it could really help, especially as you only want it to help you get a job! :-) Plus GP's will prescribe it really easily because its so safe. Message me if you want to chat. I know how you feel !
Thank you for your response, it's so good knowing I'm not the only one suffering with this crap. The only thing that bothers me about the medication is I am already on colofac for my IBS :/ to be honest I think that might be a factor of my anxiety because it makes me feel so down sometimes, physically and mentally. But I will definitely go and see my GP and keep trying until they take me seriously about it


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Drax101
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I used to have a lot of social anxiety too and I used to think and get nervous a lot when going to social events or the like.

What I did was just smile and befriend someone or sit, stand next to someone and ask them relevant questions.

Do things what I've stated in my earlier posts, seek online resources, books, keep practicing, conversing with people. You could volunteer in a socially friendly environment and that is a more comfortable way to improve your social anxiety and become more socially confident.
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samkent6
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(Original post by Drax101)
I used to have a lot of social anxiety too and I used to think and get nervous a lot when going to social events or the like.

What I did was just smile and befriend someone or sit, stand next to someone and ask them relevant questions.

Do things what I've stated in my earlier posts, seek online resources, books, keep practicing, conversing with people. You could volunteer in a socially friendly environment and that is a more comfortable way to improve your social anxiety and become more socially confident.
I really appreciate the advice, I will try following what you said I just feel I could of achieved so much more with my life if I did not have SA:/ that's a ****ty feeling


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Anonymous #1
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Finding this thread really interesting as I'm going through the same thing. Never really spoken to anyone about my anxiety apart from friends, now im considering going to the doctors.
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samkent6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Finding this thread really interesting as I'm going through the same thing. Never really spoken to anyone about my anxiety apart from friends, now im considering going to the doctors.
Definitely go! I've got an appointment booked for after Christmas, sometime in January. I've learnt that it isn't going to improve if I don't actually do something about it. You're not alone!


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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by samkent6)
Definitely go! I've got an appointment booked for after Christmas, sometime in January. I've learnt that it isn't going to improve if I don't actually do something about it. You're not alone!


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Thank you so much I feel like I'm just being silly. But it really is taking over my life
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samkent6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much I feel like I'm just being silly. But it really is taking over my life
I feel exactly the same, it's the worst it's ever been for me now, so I need to do something before I can't even face going to college anymore. You're not being silly don't worry!


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Nununu
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Dont think the job interviews as make or break, as other interviews will come.
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