The Student Room Group

What do I do? Urgent help

On Thursday my brother Jacob Skyped me from uni. He told me that he couldn't come home for Christmas because he'd agreed to spend it with his girlfriend who didn't have any family. He told me to just tell our mum that he had loads of uni work to do because she'd be pretty mad if she knew he was spending Christmas with his girlfriend instead of us. I agreed to cover for him, and that was the end of that.

Except earlier this evening, his girlfriend got in touch with me via social media asking to speak to Jacob. I said 'why, isn't he with you?' and she said no, and he had told her he was coming home to me and mum for Christmas. She's being trying to call him since Thursday but it keeps going straight to voicemail.

Jacob has quite bad depression, and when I asked his girlfriend she said he had been a little more withdrawn the past couple of weeks. I'm very worried about him, I'm scared he might have done something stupid. I've tried ringing my mum but she's at a work conference until tomorrow evening so there's been no answer. I have a sister but she's too young to understand what's going on. What do I do? Do I phone the police or am I over-reacting?

Edit: In the time it took for this post to be reviewed (2 hours) there's been a development - I've been speaking to literally everyone who knows him and a friend said he saw Jacob this morning wandering around town but he looked very rough, tired and like he'd been crying. The friend tried to talk to him but Jacob ran off as soon as he saw him. I'm still worried but the fact that he was seen out and about less than 24 hours ago is reassuring. Can he still be reported to police if he was seen today?
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 1
Ring the police and report him as a missing person - be sure to tell them about his mental health problems. Does he have any other family/friends? After you have spoken to the police speak to anyone else who might know where he is. Keep trying your mum and leave a message for her saying she needs to get in touch urgently.
Reply 2
Original post by Jenx301
Ring the police and report him as a missing person - be sure to tell them about his mental health problems. Does he have any other family/friends? After you have spoken to the police speak to anyone else who might know where he is. Keep trying your mum and leave a message for her saying she needs to get in touch urgently.


I have been speaking to everyone I can and luckily he was seen this morning but no-one has seen or spoken to him since. I was trying to keep the police out of this as he hates dealing with them and I know he would hate me for calling but I think I'm going to have to. I'm just worried they won't take me seriously as I'm 15 and there's no adults around that actually know anything about Jacob (the woman looking after us has never even met him).
Reply 3
Original post by redbluedex
I have been speaking to everyone I can and luckily he was seen this morning but no-one has seen or spoken to him since. I was trying to keep the police out of this as he hates dealing with them and I know he would hate me for calling but I think I'm going to have to. I'm just worried they won't take me seriously as I'm 15 and there's no adults around that actually know anything about Jacob (the woman looking after us has never even met him).


If he was seen this morning then it's not as big a concern - do you know where he was seen and what he was doing? Does he have a mental health worker that you could contact about your concerns? If there is an adult looking after you then she can help even if she doesn't know him herself. Speak to her.
Reply 4
Original post by Jenx301
If he was seen this morning then it's not as big a concern - do you know where he was seen and what he was doing? Does he have a mental health worker that you could contact about your concerns? If there is an adult looking after you then she can help even if she doesn't know him herself. Speak to her.


When he was seen this morning it wasn't for very long but the friend said he was 'in a bad way'. He looked scared and like he might have spent the night sleeping rough. And yes he does have a key worker but I don't know the contact details. My mum must but like I said I can't get in touch with her. I appreciate you can't help that much but I'm just venting right now...
Reply 5
Original post by redbluedex
When he was seen this morning it wasn't for very long but the friend said he was 'in a bad way'. He looked scared and like he might have spent the night sleeping rough. And yes he does have a key worker but I don't know the contact details. My mum must but like I said I can't get in touch with her. I appreciate you can't help that much but I'm just venting right now...


If you are that concerned for his welfare then you have a few options
1) tell whoever is looking after you and get them to help
2) contact police yourself
3) wait til you can speak to your mum.

Quick Reply

Latest