Relationship advice asap?

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Lucy544
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#1
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Me and my ex were together many years, we split and she's talking to someone else I think. She lives far away, would it be a good or bad idea, to go up and spend a few days in a hotel in her hometown so she knows that I'm not giving up on her and still want her back? Show her I care and maybe she will worry about me like I do her?
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Anonymous #1
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If shes moving on already ur better off looking after yourself and moving on. But on the other hand if shes the one going there is a million times better than a call or a text
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Lucy544
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If shes moving on already ur better off looking after yourself and moving on. But on the other hand if shes the one going there is a million times better than a call or a text

I just want her to know I still care, or if she wonders about me/knows that I'm near. Because if she's seeing someone else it might seem a bit weird but she said she's not.

Just don't know if it'll do more good to go up there.
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username1623349
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No, leave it. You've split up, you'll look desperate if you travel all that way when she doesn't even want you there.
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Lucy544
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(Original post by georgiaswift)
No, leave it. You've split up, you'll look desperate if you travel all that way when she doesn't even want you there.
I wasn't going to tell her I was there. I was just going to see if she noticed.
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username1623349
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(Original post by Lucy544)
I wasn't going to tell her I was there. I was just going to see if she noticed.
That's even worse. It's bordering on stalking and it's not going to win her back, it's just going to make you look obsessive and crazy.
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Lucy544
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(Original post by georgiaswift)
That's even worse. It's bordering on stalking and it's not going to win her back, it's just going to make you look obsessive and crazy.
You're right, but what can I do? She won't talk to me, she tells me that her and this other person are just friends. I want to show her I've changed but she won't let me.
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username1623349
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(Original post by Lucy544)
You're right, but what can I do? She won't talk to me, she tells me that her and this other person are just friends. I want to show her I've changed but she won't let me.
You should leave it and move on, and grow up a bit. You don't really sound ready for a serious relationship to be honest.
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SophieSmall
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Terrible idea, honestly you need to move on. Going to another city and getting a hotel just to see if someone else notices isn't healthy or normal.
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Lucy544
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(Original post by SophieSmall)
Terrible idea, honestly you need to move on. Going to another city and getting a hotel just to see if someone else notices isn't healthy or normal.
I just wanted to know if I went up she might think oh she cares about me kinda thing
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SophieSmall
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(Original post by Lucy544)
I just wanted to know if I went up she might think oh she cares about me kinda thing
No, and that is a ridiculous and silly idea.

Honestly in a year or so you're going to look back at this and think "wow what a stupid idea, what was I thinking?"
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TSR Mustafa
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(Original post by georgiaswift)
No, leave it. You've split up, you'll look desperate if you travel all that way when she doesn't even want you there.
Lmao i was planning on tagging you ^^
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Lucy544
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(Original post by SophieSmall)
No, and that is a ridiculous and silly idea.

Honestly in a year or so you're going to look back at this and think "wow what a stupid idea, what was I thinking?"
I guess it's harder as she might of found someone else, it wouldn't be as hard if it was just a split.
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SophieSmall
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(Original post by Lucy544)
I guess it's harder as she might of found someone else, it wouldn't be as hard if it was just a split.
Either way you need to find a way to move on. It's over, no going back. You need to find a healthy way to deal with that and heal.
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Lucy544
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(Original post by SophieSmall)
Either way you need to find a way to move on. It's over, no going back. You need to find a healthy way to deal with that and heal.
How do I do this when she won't talk to me? She still wants to be friends
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SophieSmall
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(Original post by Lucy544)
How do I do this when she won't talk to me? She still wants to be friends
If she still wants to be friends then she'll want to talk to you. It sounds to me like she;s just given the "we can still be friends speech" during the break up when in reality she isn't actually interested in being friends. Friends, real friends don't refuse to talk to you/

Stop obsessing over her, stop trying to talk to her and go and spend time with people who actually like you and actually want to talk to you. Keep yourself busy and do things you enjoy, or at the very least avoid things that make you think of her it'll help you move on. It's unlikely you'll ever be able to be friends with this girl again without it causing you pain and preventing you from moving on.
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Drax101
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(Original post by Lucy544)
Me and my ex were together many years, we split and she's talking to someone else I think. She lives far away, would it be a good or bad idea, to go up and spend a few days in a hotel in her hometown so she knows that I'm not giving up on her and still want her back? Show her I care and maybe she will worry about me like I do her?
If she's talking to someone else, moved on.

You should move on too and good luck !
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Lucy544
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(Original post by Drax101)
If she's talking to someone else, it means she's moved on.

You should move on too and good luck !
She says they're only friends
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Lucy544
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(Original post by Drax101)
If she's talking to someone else, it means she's moved on.

You should move on too and good luck !
Well we have to be friends as we have to go to a concert in a few months.
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Zarek
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Intuitively, a very bad idea.
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