When did you first realise you were LGBT?

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Anonymous #1
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I know there's another thread like this but it's a year old, and I've finally come to terms with my sexuality, and still yet to come out so I wanted to hear other people's stories for some reason.

I am a [mostly] gay 17 year old boy, though I'm a tiny bit bicurious in that I am attracted to girls a little bit sexually but I can't imagine a relationship with them. I can, however imagine a relationship with a guy and the sexual attraction feels more intense, so it feels more right to identify as gay rather than bi, and that was one of the reasons I struggled with my sexuality for 4 years - I'm definitely not straight but I'm not 100% gay either.

I am not camp or feminine, so no one really questions my sexuality. I'm not really that macho either but there are straight guys like me, so yeah.

I realised I wasn't straight when I was 13 but until a couple of months ago I tried to kid myself into thinking I was bi.
When I was in year 2, I remember I kept staring at this boy I thought was attractive all day, so that was an early indicator of my homosexuality.

Throughout the years, I remember noticing boys and thinking how hot some of them are, and I found it strange how boys in my class overly sexualised women, even though I was a tiny bit interested but not to the extent they were. I even had a crush on a girl in year 6, but I'm not so sure it was a crush anymore.

Although I noticed boys throughout the years I didn't put two and two together until I was 13, so I convinced myself I was bi then, but I only fancied and fantasized about guys, and only fantasized about sex with girls a tiny bit. I never had a sexual crush on a girl which stressed me out.

I also remember being less fussy in terms of what I find attractive when it comes to guys, which also stressed me out, so with the tiny bit of bi I have in me, I tried to force myself to like girls more by watching straight porn, and forcing myself to think sexually about the celebrities boys thought were hot. When I watched gay porn and thought about male celebrities I genuinely thought were hot, it felt more natural, it felt right and it wasn't forced.

I remember thinking to myself that I can't abandon my attraction to men because I like them so much, but I wouldn't really miss it if I wasn't attracted to women anymore, which is the way I didn't want to think - I wanted to fit society's perception of normal by at least liking girls more than I did to the point where it felt natural to me. But the truth is it never did.

I remember being worried that if I don't keep looking at straight porn and fantasise about girls, I will lose the attraction and turn gay forever, a thought which really frightened me.

Then, when sixth form started, I became friends with the best guy I've known ever, very outgoing and friendly, very popular with other people, he's just perfect - I have a massive crush on him and he doesn't know it. It secretly hurts me that he's straight and has a girlfriend. He was the one who made me feel comfortable with who I was and helped me come to terms with my sexuality, unknowingly on his part. He doesn't think I'm gay (don't know if he was just saying that to spare my feelings), but for some reason he makes jokes about me being gay, calling me his gay best friend, and always jokingly suggesting I'm gay, but when we talk seriously, it's like he doesn't actually think I'm gay (can't think of a specific example). The jokes were meant to annoy me playfully but honestly it makes feel so much better about myself every time he does it makes me feel loved for who I am and it makes me want to come out more. He will be the first person I come out to for that reason, but lol I won't tell him about the crush obviously. I can see no reason why he would react badly, and he's a really nice guy so I think he can keep a secret, but I'm not ready yet.

I once told him 'one day I will tell you something about me but not today', and the first thing he said was 'what? You're gay and you fancy me??' Then I looked shocked, and then so did he and was like '**** is it true?' I didn't really know how fancying him would make him feel, so I defensively said no, but I kind of wish I didn't, because I didn't like lying to him.

It doesn't help that my father isn't 100% supportive of homosexuality either which I was surprised about because he's not religious (he's very against religion in fact) and he is very left wing in his views. Although he has nothing against them as people, he thinks gays were influenced that way by falling in the wrong crowd, or having a gay friend turn them, which I think is utterly ridiculous. He reasons that because gays can't reproduce, science and biology doesn't agree with it, therefore they can't have been born that way. I agree with him to an extent that maybe environmental factors influence sexuality (the fact that I'm a lot closer to mum may have something to do with it). I had a gay friend and when my dad found out he was gay, he told me 'as long as you're not, that's fine. I don't want you falling into the trap he's fallen into or I will feel like I have failed as a dad'

My mum on the other hand is perfectly fine with gays and lesbians and thinks they were born that way, but I think she will side with my dad whatever he does. I know he won't disown me and he will come around, but I am still scared ****less of coming out to him, and hearing his opinions makes me never want to come out. I intend to come out to them when I leave home to avoid awkwardness etc.
I might come out to everyone in the next year or so, but my family a lot later.

Sorry for the lengthy post

TL;DR: Realised I wasn't straight at 13, tried to delude myself I was more bi than I actually was, a boy at sixth form unknowingly helped me accept I was gay, not bi.
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Anonymous #2
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Sexuality can be fluid, i've heard cases where some were romantically attracted to girls but sexually for boys. For me, it was when i was 7, i played with barbie dolls, i've had friends who were mostly girls and i wasnt the most masculine boy you know, though I've toned it down now that im older, im more shy and quiet which is why my feminity doesnt show as much anymore.
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Airmed
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I'm not LGBT per se, but I'm asexual. It's one of those where I believe I don't have to come out (I too thought I was bi for a few months a few years ago because I always knew deep down I wasn't heterosexual) so I'm happy with it.

However, coming out as asexual would confuse everyone: I'm in a very happy relationship with a wonderful fella. I can't remember the exact term but I'm the kind of asexual who can be in happy, committed relationships. And my relationship is absolutely brilliant. He's the only person I have been sexually attracted to, and I'm very happy.
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Odd socks
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I realised I was bi when I was 15, but I repressed it till I moved away for Uni and then properly came out when I was 19

I didn't realise I was trans until about a year ago but I'm still not totally out as such, friends of mine know but my family don't

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ivybridge
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Very young - early years of primary school.
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Mpagtches
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(Original post by Airmed)
I'm not LGBT per se, but I'm asexual. It's one of those where I believe I don't have to come out (I too thought I was bi for a few months a few years ago because I always knew deep down I wasn't heterosexual) so I'm happy with it.

However, coming out as asexual would confuse everyone: I'm in a very happy relationship with a wonderful fella. I can't remember the exact term but I'm the kind of asexual who can be in happy, committed relationships. And my relationship is absolutely brilliant. He's the only person I have been sexually attracted to, and I'm very happy.
Forgive me, but I really genuinely don't understand.
If you're asexual, how can you be sexually attracted to someone?
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username1221160
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I was in denial for more than a decade. The realisation came as the attractive woman I had been with for 3 years was orgasming on top of me but all I could think about was "is my electric toothbrush charged up?"
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come-hither
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Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transsexual at the same time?
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Airmed
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(Original post by Mpagtches)
Forgive me, but I really genuinely don't understand.
If you're asexual, how can you be sexually attracted to someone?
It's an odd one, I know. But with my boyfriend the romantic attachment came first, like the friendship, intimacy etc. Many asexuals are in relationships for the comfort kind of stuff, not the sexual stuff. It's possible to be asexual and in a happy relationship. I find it so hard to explain.
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ckfeister
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I knew I was gay at 16 year old, I'm now 17.
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CJTWhite
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(Original post by Airmed)
It's an odd one, I know. But with my boyfriend the romantic attachment came first, like the friendship, intimacy etc. Many asexuals are in relationships for the comfort kind of stuff, not the sexual stuff. It's possible to be asexual and in a happy relationship. I find it so hard to explain.
But surely you're not sexually attracted to him or that wouldn't make you asexual?

Sorry in advance for my general ignorance and heteronormative bull****.
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Anonymous #3
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I think it began for me when I was around 11 or 12, I found myself fancying both my male and female friends which at the time I didn't understand. I then went to an all boys school and started to think I was fully gay because of the environment; then when I started working/university I realised I was definitely bi as I instantly found myself liking girls.

Like the above poster mentioned it's weird because I am sexually attracted to both men and women but I don't think I could picture myself in a relationship with a dude, it's a purely physical thing. I'm also friends with guys and girls not, aside from my best mate none of my other friends are gay and I'm not camp so that helps to an extent.

I think the main issue with being bi is that girls don't like the idea of you having been with a lad and lads always think there's too much competition so settling down with peeps is complicated. It's only really in the last 2 or 3 years that I've kinda just accepted who I am and what I like, growing up bi is confusing as **** because everyone wants to put you in a box and you can't fit in any of them; everyone talks about being gay or straight and you're somewhere floating in the middle. I always tried to convince myself I was one or the other simply because my life would be a lot easier and I think people would understand it more, but now I'm old enough and ugly enough to not give a ****.
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Airmed
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(Original post by Chaz W)
But surely you're not sexually attracted to him or that wouldn't make you asexual?

Sorry in advance for my general ignorance and heteronormative bull****.
I am to an extent. I just don't need sex. Sex confuses me, if I'm honest. I could happily stay in a relationship and not ****.
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clonedmemories
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I knew I was attracted to women at about 10/11, when I found it strange why everyone was talking about how attractive Zac Efron was in High School Musical and I only had eyes for the piano girl. I didn't have a word for it then. I didn't even really get that there was an alternative to heterosexuality until I was 12 or so. I was outed at 14 when I developed feelings for a friend, but didn't apply the label "gay" until I was 16. I met a guy at 18 and then decided I quite liked him as well, so then I started to go more towards the bisexual/pansexual side. Now I just don't care. People are hot, whatever gender.
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MrsSheldonCooper
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I had a liking towards a waitress when I went out to eat. Also I didn't really find guys attractive when I was younger.. I didn't like a girl after that waitress but then I had experiences with girls too
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Blondie987
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I noticed my interest in girls at around 15 but was in denial till about 18/19 (last year), more or less at terms with it now but sexuality is confusing lol
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tahliaD
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(Original post by Chaz W)
But surely you're not sexually attracted to him or that wouldn't make you asexual?

Sorry in advance for my general ignorance and heteronormative bull****.
There's a spectrum of asexuality and people identify with whichever part of that spectrum they feel most comfortable with. Here, the relationship seems to suggest demi-sexuality (when you're only sexually attracted to someone you love). Some prefer to call themselves asexual despite the existence of this term due to the label usually being for external persons who are unlikely aware of it or just cus the term asexual feels more natural/ a better description of their true sexuality. =)
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Airmed
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(Original post by tahliaD)
There's a spectrum of asexuality and people identify with whichever part of that spectrum they feel most comfortable with. Here, the relationship seems to suggest demi-sexuality (when you're only sexually attracted to someone you love). Some prefer to call themselves asexual despite the existence of this term due to the label usually being for external persons who are unlikely aware of it or just cus the term asexual feels more natural/ a better description of their true sexuality. =)
The term asexual feels more natural in my case. It's as if I know I will not be attracted to any other person in my life except my boyfriend.
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Katty3
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I think I have always known that I'm asexual, I certainly remember feeling left out and isolated when everyone else was talking about the guys they found attractive and who they had a crush on. I didn't feel any of that.

I have only known the name for my sexuality for a few months, but I have always known how I feel.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Odd socks)
I realised I was bi when I was 15, but I repressed it till I moved away for Uni and then properly came out when I was 19

I didn't realise I was trans until about a year ago but I'm still not totally out as such, friends of mine know but my family don't

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What gender were you born as? Pardon my ignorance, but when you say you didn't realise you were trans, did you feel like you were in the right body/gender before the realisation or not. If no did you realise there was something not tallying up and you did not put your finger on it til then?
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