Rejected by a guy and I feel worthless because I'm not good enough for him :(

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
If I knew how much it would hurt to be rejected, I never would have even tried.

He is a friend of mine and I confessed my interest but he rejected me. It hurts to see him all the time as all I can think about is how I'm not good enough for him it's so embarrassing and I feel so small around him. The more I see him the more ugly, fat and stupid I feel. I only wish I could be good enough as perhaps I would have a shot at happiness, but I'm not.

I can't avoid him as we have too many friends in common.

This was quite a few weeks ago. I should be over this but I only feel worse and worse. I know I this sounds lame but I can barely eat I'm so disgusted and angry with myself. I had anorexia as a teen so I'm pretty scared and feel like I'm losing control again. Maybe relationships, or even attempting to be in them is isn't safe for me.

How can I really get over this once and for all?
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Cats&Roses
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#2
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Think about it like this. He is only one person in this world. Don't let his opinions etc affect your entire life. You are worth so, so much more than that. There are plenty of other guys out there. Please try and occupy your time with other things. Do you currently study something at the moment? Do you have friends you can confide to?
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Sparster
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Don't worry about it try to forget about what happened. Every single person out there who is after a relationship will likely be rejected at least a few times in their life, that is how it works and you kind of have to accept it. You are none of the above negative factors you described, he just simply is after something different or not interested in a relationship; it doesn't mean he finds you unattractive.

The priority is to fix your eating patterns. If you need to, do not be afraid to seek real medical help as it is important that you do not re-enter the health issues you once had. It will get better with time but try not to worry I know it is hard.
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Anonymous #2
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I told my best friend I had feeling for her a few weeks ago and she rejected me too. Since then she has acted the same but it's different for me. When I look at her all I can think of is the rejection too.

I still feel bad but I'm glad I told her. I was honest with her and now I'm 100% sure she isn't interested in me. Questions like "what if...", "could she..." etc were killing me. You feel worse than me though. The best thing to do is to cut him out of your life but I've the same problem, we have too many friends in common too so I understand that you don't want to lose them.

Sorry I can't help you much as I'm in the same situation...
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samina_ay
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#5
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You don't let rejection determine your worth. Rejection is necessary - it'll redirect you to something better xx
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Jebedee
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#6
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You got rejected by a guy and it destroyed your worldview of every man dropping their pants for you on request? Now you've been swatted back to earth...if you want better, then be better.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Jebedee)
You got rejected by a guy and it destroyed your worldview of every man dropping their pants for you on request? Now you've been swatted back to earth...if you want better, then be better.
Who said I want men to drop their pants on request or that they have done that before for me, for that matter? This is about someone I really liked and cared for, not someone who I wanted to just sleep with. But yes I am trying to be better...
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by samina_ay)
You don't let rejection determine your worth. Rejection is necessary - it'll redirect you to something better xx
Thank you, I hope so. I had that thought in the beginning that perhaps it is to lead me onto better but it's been a while now and I still have nothing and no one. I have actually faced a lot of rejection before and I closed myself up for a long time. This is the first time I have taken a risk in a very long time and it hurts so much more than I ever remembered.
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Anonymous #1
#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I told my best friend I had feeling for her a few weeks ago and she rejected me too. Since then she has acted the same but it's different for me. When I look at her all I can think of is the rejection too.

I still feel bad but I'm glad I told her. I was honest with her and now I'm 100% sure she isn't interested in me. Questions like "what if...", "could she..." etc were killing me. You feel worse than me though. The best thing to do is to cut him out of your life but I've the same problem, we have too many friends in common too so I understand that you don't want to lose them.

Sorry I can't help you much as I'm in the same situation...
Yes in many respects I too am glad that I was brave enough to be honest with him and that I'm not wondering 'what if'. However the pain that comes alongside was not foreseen on my part and to be honest it is a bit too much for me too handle I am seriously considering cutting him off but that would also meaning letting go of all of my other friends. I'm kind of angry with myself because I feel like every time I hurt myself I lose people, and the problem is I get hurt easily. That's why I think I just shouldn't bother with relationships, or even friendships I just need to look after me now.

But I'm sorry to hear your story as well and I hope that those thoughts soon disappear from the back of your mind.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Sparster)
Don't worry about it try to forget about what happened. Every single person out there who is after a relationship will likely be rejected at least a few times in their life, that is how it works and you kind of have to accept it. You are none of the above negative factors you described, he just simply is after something different or not interested in a relationship; it doesn't mean he finds you unattractive.

The priority is to fix your eating patterns. If you need to, do not be afraid to seek real medical help as it is important that you do not re-enter the health issues you once had. It will get better with time but try not to worry I know it is hard.
Yeah I think that is my problem this has happened to me many times before, although this is the only recent rejection as I didn't get myself out there for a long time and the feelings that it is brought out in me are very scary and remind me of how I felt when I was ill. I suppose I'm just sick of falling short in every man's eyes I think it's better for me just be choose to stay alone. Thanks for your advice, I suppose my priority is sorting the eating out.
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Anonymous #1
#11
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(Original post by Cats&Roses)
Think about it like this. He is only one person in this world. Don't let his opinions etc affect your entire life. You are worth so, so much more than that. There are plenty of other guys out there. Please try and occupy your time with other things. Do you currently study something at the moment? Do you have friends you can confide to?
I know it's true, he's only one person and I've put his opinion on the pedestal and I'm not sure how it take it off.
Yeah I'm studying but if I'm honest I'm finding it hard to focus with the lack of food that I'm taking in. I just feel so hopeless. I do have friends but most of my friends are mutual to him and I don't want them to know what happened or that I'm struggling. I have a few friends outside of the circle whom I have told but I'm sure they are getting sick of it. And it sounds awful but I feel no one but him can validate me... and that is never going to happen. Yes that's a crazy thing to say but I'm just being honest.
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Sparster
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I think that is my problem this has happened to me many times before, although this is the only recent rejection as I didn't get myself out there for a long time and the feelings that it is brought out in me are very scary and remind me of how I felt when I was ill. I suppose I'm just sick of falling short in every man's eyes I think it's better for me just be choose to stay alone. Thanks for your advice, I suppose my priority is sorting the eating out.
No don't stay alone. Just don't rush into a relationship. You will find the perfect man one day dont worry.
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DancinBallerina
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#13
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Rejection is part of life! How else are we suppose to learn from experiences and better ourselves for the next time? I've been where you have and yes it sucks, but I literally just pick myself up, put my killer dress and heels on and 'rock it' with my head held high!!
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