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opal
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#1
Report Thread starter 14 years ago
#1
When I was at school I never really had any proper friends because I was always labelled as 'the clever one'. Now I am at sixth form when I am in school I seem to have loads of friends but when it comes to having a social life out of school i don't have one. At the weekend most of my friends go to bars and clubs in the local area and because I don't look 18 they never ask me because they think that I will stop them getting in. Recently I read one of their text messages and it said " I don't think Opal will get in though, she just looks too young." I don't think they understand because yes I do want to go out but I really don't want to wear clothes and make-up that is no really me and that i don't feel comfortable in. What should I do?
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AT82
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#2
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#2
(Original post by opal)
When I was at school I never really had any proper friends because I was always labelled as 'the clever one'. Now I am at sixth form when I am in school I seem to have loads of friends but when it comes to having a social life out of school i don't have one. At the weekend most of my friends go to bars and clubs in the local area and because I don't look 18 they never ask me because they think that I will stop them getting in. Recently I read one of their text messages and it said " I don't think Opal will get in though, she just looks too young." I don't think they understand because yes I do want to go out but I really don't want to wear clothes and make-up that is no really me and that i don't feel comfortable in. What should I do?
How old are you? 17?
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kriztinae
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#3
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(Original post by opal)
When I was at school I never really had any proper friends because I was always labelled as 'the clever one'. Now I am at sixth form when I am in school I seem to have loads of friends but when it comes to having a social life out of school i don't have one. At the weekend most of my friends go to bars and clubs in the local area and because I don't look 18 they never ask me because they think that I will stop them getting in. Recently I read one of their text messages and it said " I don't think Opal will get in though, she just looks too young." I don't think they understand because yes I do want to go out but I really don't want to wear clothes and make-up that is no really me and that i don't feel comfortable in. What should I do?
dont you go anywhere with them? at school or wherever, wear makeup and try to make urself look older if u wanna prove urself to them
but honestly, they aint ur friends if they dont include you.
im 17 and my friends have always been at least a year or 2 older. i was never allowed to bars coz of my rents and my friends used to come with me for coffee and then go out. i thought that was fair!
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tis_me_lord
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#4
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#4
Talk to your friends about it, not us. Tell them you don't think it's fair to have to put on an act with all the makeup and stuff just to be able to go out with them and if they don't respect that they're pretty lame friends. They should feel guilty then and invite you out - though your not missing much, going out sucks, stay at home and get addicted to the UKL forums!
slowjamz
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#5
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#5
(Original post by opal)
When I was at school I never really had any proper friends because I was always labelled as 'the clever one'. Now I am at sixth form when I am in school I seem to have loads of friends but when it comes to having a social life out of school i don't have one. At the weekend most of my friends go to bars and clubs in the local area and because I don't look 18 they never ask me because they think that I will stop them getting in. Recently I read one of their text messages and it said " I don't think Opal will get in though, she just looks too young." I don't think they understand because yes I do want to go out but I really don't want to wear clothes and make-up that is no really me and that i don't feel comfortable in. What should I do?
Can you suggest something else you could do together? Maybe arrange a big group meal out and a trip to the cinema, or bowling, or get the train to some huge shopping mall you've never been to before and spend the day there. Over the summer try day trips to nearby big cities or the coast... invite them over on a Friday/Saturday night and have pizza/drinks/movies... maybe once they spend more time with you they'll wake up and realise you're fun to be around. If it's any consolation, they'll grow up a bit before long and realise getting into bars isn't the be all and end all. I'm guessing it's just novelty right now.
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Mysticmin
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#6
Report 14 years ago
#6
(Original post by opal)
When I was at school I never really had any proper friends because I was always labelled as 'the clever one'. Now I am at sixth form when I am in school I seem to have loads of friends but when it comes to having a social life out of school i don't have one. At the weekend most of my friends go to bars and clubs in the local area and because I don't look 18 they never ask me because they think that I will stop them getting in. Recently I read one of their text messages and it said " I don't think Opal will get in though, she just looks too young." I don't think they understand because yes I do want to go out but I really don't want to wear clothes and make-up that is no really me and that i don't feel comfortable in. What should I do?
Never go out if you don't feel like it, because that just means you'll have an unenjoyable night out. Although me and my friends do go to clubs and bars, half of our social life also revolves around going to the cinema, sitting in borders reading odd books, bumming around on the beach, going on random day trips. It shouldn't all be nightlife

Try and ask to see if you can just go to the cinema one friday night as opposed to a bar, they can always go out afterwards.
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tis_me_lord
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Mysticmin)
Never go out if you don't feel like it, because that just means you'll have an unenjoyable night out. Although me and my friends do go to clubs and bars, half of our social life also revolves around going to the cinema, sitting in borders reading odd books, bumming around on the beach, going on random day trips. It shouldn't all be nightlife

Try and ask to see if you can just go to the cinema one friday night as opposed to a bar, they can always go out afterwards.
Sorry....i didn't read past the "bumming on the beach" bit....
neha p
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Mysticmin)
Never go out if you don't feel like it, because that just means you'll have an unenjoyable night out. Although me and my friends do go to clubs and bars, half of our social life also revolves around going to the cinema, sitting in borders reading odd books, bumming around on the beach, going on random day trips. It shouldn't all be nightlife

Try and ask to see if you can just go to the cinema one friday night as opposed to a bar, they can always go out afterwards.
i totally agree with Mysticmin, if you feel forced into going out and wearing make-up and stuff, you just wont enjoy yourself. i think you should talk to your friends. bring up the topic slowly, but if you are to embaressed dont worry. nightlife isnt the key to having the best social life.
Again, like Mysticmin said, try going somewhere before the bar, as that way you have been out with them and just see where things go from there.
dont let the peer pressure get to you.
xx
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airie_faerie
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#9
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#9
(Original post by kriztinae)
dont you go anywhere with them? at school or wherever, wear makeup and try to make urself look older if u wanna prove urself to them
but honestly, they aint ur friends if they dont include you.
im 17 and my friends have always been at least a year or 2 older. i was never allowed to bars coz of my rents and my friends used to come with me for coffee and then go out. i thought that was fair!
No no no. You shouldn't really have to prove anything to them. I never went out to bars/clubs untill I was 18 because I'm pretty young looking, so my friends and I just used to go for meals/coffee/shopping/cinema. If you don't feel comfortabel acting like they do, don't do it, because you just won't have fun
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roff
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#10
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#10
(Original post by tis_me_lord)
Sorry....i didn't read past the "bumming on the beach" bit....
LOL
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musicbloke
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#11
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#11
Quite a lot of my friends are in their 40s andd 50s. people ddon't ask for ID when there are people much older than you. I am not saying you shouldd hang around with 40 year olds. I am friends with them because we have shared interests.

MB
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kirbz
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#12
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#12
Don't do anything you don't want to do, when I was the only one underage in my group of friends I didn't want to go out when they asked me because I felt very self-concious that I wouldn't get in to places and then they'd either have to go back home or go in and leave me alone, so for a while I told them I couldn't, and whatever, but then I started reading *****y texts behind my back saying that they didn't want to include me anymore basically, in the end I just told them that I wasn't going to come out until I was 18, for their sake more than mine, one was fine with it, the other got in a bit of a huff, we arranged to go out for meals rather than bars a bit more and it's so much nicer, you can have nice girly chats! But I'm 18 now and everything seems to be going ok in that department. Talk to them, if they are really your friends they'll consider you and not be selfish about going out without you.
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