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worried about being quiet
Im worried about what people think of me and am wondering if there is something wrong as I have always been really quiet and only say a few words. People always say that 'its the quiet ones you have to watch' but why is this? Ive heard that that lad who killed 33 in a college was a quiet loner and thats me too so im wondering maybe there is something wrong? I can understand why people are mad with society if they get ignored all the time even when they speak. The thing is I can't suddenly change because that would be even weirder me going from v quiet to loud lol. Whats the best thing to do?
Reply 1
I'd advise not killing people.
Reply 3
Its just this guy who was in the same class as me at primary school, high school and college I never said a word to. He spoke quite a bit to others but he never saw me speak. I sat next to him at sixth form and never said a word to anyone in that class as everyone was popular I didn't know anyone when I tried talking to them they answered then turned away but that was all. I did know a girl who was my friend in high school but she started turning away too I don't know what happened. Anyway this guy I have to see at tennis every week as he's just joined and he is already friends with the people I have known for 4 years and I still can't class as friends lol. The problem is he looks at me serious and weird then glances away and im worried he will tell the others how quiet I was or he might think theres something wrong. Just what do you think? Is there anyway I can change things or will I always be seen as weird by them? I can't just start being loud they will think being desperate and it will look strange lol.
Anonymous
People always say that 'its the quiet ones you have to watch' but why is this?
Welcome to the stereotypical mindset of the loner...l0l da wh0le world'5 0ut 2 g3t me...l0lz.
'Always say' is nothing other than bs and if you continue believeing this tripe then you'll start having issues and will always have issues. Don't think the world will change for you, people won't come to you all the time unless you give them a reason to, and without the interaction you're going to remain under this 'introvert spotlight' for a while.
It sounds harsh but at times people need it...
Reply 5
You do have to watch out for the quiet ones. I think it's mean as in, "just because you're watching the loud people, remember that there are those who are quiet and just as - if not more - determined".
Reply 6
chaywa
Welcome to the stereotypical mindset of the loner...l0l da wh0le world'5 0ut 2 g3t me...l0lz.
'Always say' is nothing other than bs and if you continue believeing this tripe then you'll start having issues and will always have issues. Don't think the world will change for you, people won't come to you all the time unless you give them a reason to, and without the interaction you're going to remain under this 'introvert spotlight' for a while.
It sounds harsh but at times people need it...
'Always say' is nothing other than bs and if you continue believeing this tripe then you'll start having issues and will always have issues. Don't think the world will change for you, people won't come to you all the time unless you give them a reason to, and without the interaction you're going to remain under this 'introvert spotlight' for a while.
It sounds harsh but at times people need it...
I think Ive made it pretty clear that im not blaming the world I know im at fault but I just don't know why or how I can change things. If you wanted to join in a group of 3 people who were talking and so went up and said 'how are you..and asked them a question but they answered nicely then turned away what would you do, if there was no one else around to talk to? Go away and be on your own or what?
Reply 7
Why don;t you just wait till you hear something they're speaking about that you know about and say something then..or wait till one of them is on their own and start a convo then..tbh I dont think I would go up to 3 people that were talking and ask one of them if they were ok..I'd wait fro a quiet bit in the convo and say somethign then..something about essays or news or something..or something which makes fun of me lol
x
x
Reply 8
cheekylittleminx
Why don;t you just wait till you hear something they're speaking about that you know about and say something then..or wait till one of them is on their own and start a convo then..tbh I dont think I would go up to 3 people that were talking and ask one of them if they were ok..
See im not overly shy I dare to talk to people lol so I don't know whats wrong. The conversations that people have hardly go quiet though as they always seem to talk about the past or be laughing a lot etc about things I don't know of.
Reply 9
Be yourself.
Don't compare yourself to that psycho in America..he was from south korean and was religious and had a mental problem.There is nothing wrong with being quiet. Jeez I would hate to live in a world full of extroverts yelling and being loud all the time. Being quiet is fine. I suggest you just stay the same, never change. And they say 'you have to watch the quiet ones' perhaps because they are thinkers and they keep to themselves so when they do something it is totally unexpected..I'm not referring to blowing the brains out of 33 people..just general stuff.
Don't compare yourself to that psycho in America..he was from south korean and was religious and had a mental problem.There is nothing wrong with being quiet. Jeez I would hate to live in a world full of extroverts yelling and being loud all the time. Being quiet is fine. I suggest you just stay the same, never change. And they say 'you have to watch the quiet ones' perhaps because they are thinkers and they keep to themselves so when they do something it is totally unexpected..I'm not referring to blowing the brains out of 33 people..just general stuff.
Reply 10
There's nothing wrong with being quiet, my best friend is very quiet around people and she's lovely and doesn't get judged. You seem to be overthinking when comparing yourself to the guy who killed people.. just be yourself and don't let anyone change you, if they judge you then that's their problem and shows they are the ones with issues.
Anonymous
Im worried about what people think of me and am wondering if there is something wrong as I have always been really quiet and only say a few words. People always say that 'its the quiet ones you have to watch' but why is this? Ive heard that that lad who killed 33 in a college was a quiet loner and thats me too so im wondering maybe there is something wrong? I can understand why people are mad with society if they get ignored all the time even when they speak. The thing is I can't suddenly change because that would be even weirder me going from v quiet to loud lol. Whats the best thing to do?
you are who you are. If other people can't hack, tell them to **** off.
Reply 14
I'm a very quiet person. It came mainly out of fear of showing my emotions and low self esteem (I was bullied at primary school and am still recovering). One of my friends told me he was worried and I later turned out to have problems. There is nothing wrong with being quiet and, as someone has already said, not all quiet people become mass murderers. I've always been far more of a risk to myself than to others.
Reply 15
Of course I don't know the exact details of your situation, but it sounds like to a certain extent you may be perceiving peoples view of you to be different to what it really is.
People who know you probably dont interact that much with you as they believe that youre not really interested in doing so, not because they see you as weird.
I admit its difficult to just go and talk to people out of the blue, particulary if they are the popular type where they probably wont be that receptive to you.
Try speaking to people who are themselves quite quiet and dont seem that popular - and you dont have to have long conversations but just comment about anything to try and get a conversation started.
Also, if you're quiet there certainly isnt anything wrong with you - if society was full of extroverts, life would be pretty boring - being quiet is just like being black, white, left handed, gay, straight etc.
Personally I would suggest talking to a counselor etc about your problems - it doesnt mean your going mad or anything, it just may be useful for you to have someone professional to talk to.
Hope that helps
People who know you probably dont interact that much with you as they believe that youre not really interested in doing so, not because they see you as weird.
I admit its difficult to just go and talk to people out of the blue, particulary if they are the popular type where they probably wont be that receptive to you.
Try speaking to people who are themselves quite quiet and dont seem that popular - and you dont have to have long conversations but just comment about anything to try and get a conversation started.
Also, if you're quiet there certainly isnt anything wrong with you - if society was full of extroverts, life would be pretty boring - being quiet is just like being black, white, left handed, gay, straight etc.
Personally I would suggest talking to a counselor etc about your problems - it doesnt mean your going mad or anything, it just may be useful for you to have someone professional to talk to.
Hope that helps
Ok, I am going to put my two pence into this, and think of it what you will. I will warn you of this, it will most likely be a long, boring post, with examples of how I was.
Now, first thing that I feel the need to say: There is nothing wrong with being quiet. It is a personality type, just like being loud, controlling or submissive. Now, if you want to change, to get out there and discover what people really think about you, I would advise that you get a job where you are forced to communicate. I used to be introverted to quite an extreme, and then I got a job as a waiter, and needed to, not only speak, but know when to be nice, and when to be cutting (depending on whether or not you are in the kitchen).
Now, as for why quiet ones are the ones to look out for, my opinion is this: They listen. I am a quiet person, and I find that people often have conversations with me in the vicinity, but seem to forget that I am there. I have no problem with this, as, if I wanted to make myself heard, I would, and I learn no end of things that could either hurt others, or help me (e.g. picking conversation subjects, picking shifts). If I actually became vindictive, I have enough ammunition to hurt just about everyone I know.
BUT, I would really advise that you have an outlet for anger and rage (and yes, no matter how peaceful a person you are, you still need it), whether it be video games, sports, or (in my case) shouting at young children who really annoy you (lifeguard, it definately has it's perks).
Anyway, that is my opinion, do with it what you will
Now, first thing that I feel the need to say: There is nothing wrong with being quiet. It is a personality type, just like being loud, controlling or submissive. Now, if you want to change, to get out there and discover what people really think about you, I would advise that you get a job where you are forced to communicate. I used to be introverted to quite an extreme, and then I got a job as a waiter, and needed to, not only speak, but know when to be nice, and when to be cutting (depending on whether or not you are in the kitchen).
Now, as for why quiet ones are the ones to look out for, my opinion is this: They listen. I am a quiet person, and I find that people often have conversations with me in the vicinity, but seem to forget that I am there. I have no problem with this, as, if I wanted to make myself heard, I would, and I learn no end of things that could either hurt others, or help me (e.g. picking conversation subjects, picking shifts). If I actually became vindictive, I have enough ammunition to hurt just about everyone I know.
BUT, I would really advise that you have an outlet for anger and rage (and yes, no matter how peaceful a person you are, you still need it), whether it be video games, sports, or (in my case) shouting at young children who really annoy you (lifeguard, it definately has it's perks).
Anyway, that is my opinion, do with it what you will
Reply 17
me too, in my tutorials at uni i have always always been quiet. im afraid this will make the tutor think i have no opinion at all and ruin my prospects at uni. the only thing is just that i am not such an eloquent speaker, and am sort of scared to make myself look like an idiot. but i do have opinions.
however because i have been SILENT for 2 terms already while other people had been speaking, if i suddenly spoke that would be so weird!!! what should i do?
however because i have been SILENT for 2 terms already while other people had been speaking, if i suddenly spoke that would be so weird!!! what should i do?
Reply 18
chaywa
Welcome to the stereotypical mindset of the loner...l0l da wh0le world'5 0ut 2 g3t me...l0lz.
'Always say' is nothing other than bs and if you continue believeing this tripe then you'll start having issues and will always have issues. Don't think the world will change for you, people won't come to you all the time unless you give them a reason to, and without the interaction you're going to remain under this 'introvert spotlight' for a while.
It sounds harsh but at times people need it...
'Always say' is nothing other than bs and if you continue believeing this tripe then you'll start having issues and will always have issues. Don't think the world will change for you, people won't come to you all the time unless you give them a reason to, and without the interaction you're going to remain under this 'introvert spotlight' for a while.
It sounds harsh but at times people need it...
To me that doesn't seem like help, it just seems like unnecessary criticism. Lots of people happen to be shy and/or quiet, and for lots of different reasons. Telling them "just change yourself" is kinda underestimating the complexity of why they are like that. It's kinda like telling an addict, "just stop taking drugs". A "mindset" is a very difficult thing to alter because it's so deeply embedded, and built up over such a long period of time.
Extroverted people tend not to understand how hard it can be if your personality is naturally introvert. A lot of the problem is not how you are, it's the way people react to you, and it doesn't help when introverts are characterised as being somehow inferior to extroverts - as being "loners" or whatever. If you feel like there's something wrong with you for being quiet, of course it's gonna make you more anxious and make it harder to fall naturally into conversation with people. It takes time to build up confidence, and people may well look at you strangely at first - but usually it's not "omgz the weirdo's speaking!!!", it's more like they're pleasantly surprised to hear about you or your opinions - they're surprised to find you expressing a point they can agree with, or dispute, or whichever. Of course there are off-putting awkward silences but if you perservere eventually you'll find something that links you to the person you're talking to and it'll be easier.
Finally, it never really helps to say "don't worry about it" but seriously... like everyone else said, there's nothing wrong with being quiet. Often the quietest people are the ones with the most interesting things to say, if only they had the chance! You'd be surprised how many people feel the same as you, it's just that some of them have more practice at covering it up.
Whew, sorry, long post... i can't seem to stop rambling today...
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