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argh, help! friend emailed mum...guna be trouble
hi,
ok, i've just been talking to a friend about something personal (well....the way my brother treats my family) and i told my friend after not to say anything to my mum (he talks to her on msn...long story) and he said 'oh sorry, i emailed her about an hour ago.' so i got cross with him because my mum will go ballistic that i've told a friend private information. he said he did it because he cares but i dont believe that at all. i've told him that i don't want to talk to him again cos i can't trust him.
what do i do about my mum though? shes going to hit the roof and im guna be in soooooo much trouble. please help!
ok, i've just been talking to a friend about something personal (well....the way my brother treats my family) and i told my friend after not to say anything to my mum (he talks to her on msn...long story) and he said 'oh sorry, i emailed her about an hour ago.' so i got cross with him because my mum will go ballistic that i've told a friend private information. he said he did it because he cares but i dont believe that at all. i've told him that i don't want to talk to him again cos i can't trust him.
what do i do about my mum though? shes going to hit the roof and im guna be in soooooo much trouble. please help!
firstly theres nothing you can do to prevent you getting introuble with your mum, just grin and bear it.
secondly, ok your freind shouldn't said anything, but you shouldn't stop being freinds with him about it, explain to him that he's just stitched you up, but don't do it again otherwise the freindships over. He's only human after all and we all make mistakes
secondly, ok your freind shouldn't said anything, but you shouldn't stop being freinds with him about it, explain to him that he's just stitched you up, but don't do it again otherwise the freindships over. He's only human after all and we all make mistakes
he's done it before. the trust is gone now. i cant trust him. im so upset and im in tears. my mum is guna get sooooooooo angry.
it wasnt anything serious. i was just telling him how horrible my brother is to me and my family and he started saying my mum needs to discipline him and get social services involved and stuff. i said that wasnt necessary but he said it was. no doubt he'll have told my mum to do this and my mum will want know what was said and she'll go mental
boys-play-rock-and-roll
Althought thats true, it's a little harshly put...
Truth hurts, eh?
But at the same time, the friend also broke the whole circle of trust/privacy/whatever thing didn't he? And why he's talking to the OPs mum is also beyond me. I'd find it well weird if my mates talked to my mum on MSN...
Oh for goodness' sake, you confided in a friend. Unless your mum lives in a bubble she will be aware that you aren't pleased and won't expect you to keep it to yourself.
Your friend is not bad, just thick. All you need to do is tell your mum that you talked to him as you're unhappy that's all, and that you weren't expecting them to do this.
End of discussion.
Your mum has no right to be mad, it's not like we all keep things to ourselves all of the time. It's unhealthy.
Your friend is not bad, just thick. All you need to do is tell your mum that you talked to him as you're unhappy that's all, and that you weren't expecting them to do this.
End of discussion.
Your mum has no right to be mad, it's not like we all keep things to ourselves all of the time. It's unhealthy.
At the end of the day you can't do anything about what is going to happen...but why shouldn't you talk to your friends about stuff that is on your mind-if she has a go just tell her it's your own opinion of your brother; I can't really see how she can go mad if you think your brother is nasty. Just tell her the truth and say you're fed up of how he treats everyone..if you tell the truth then you will be 1) staying true to yourself and 2) sticking up for what you believe in
Good luck!!
x
Good luck!!
x
Anonymous
it wasnt anything serious. i was just telling him how horrible my brother is to me and my family and he started saying my mum needs to discipline him and get social services involved and stuff. i said that wasnt necessary but he said it was. no doubt he'll have told my mum to do this and my mum will want know what was said and she'll go mental
Congratulations; on having the sort of friend that you'll come to appreciate only in thirty years' time, if at all, having narrowly escaped being institutionalised in your youth.
To be fair, if her brother is treating her badly, this is information that concerns her and therefore her mother has no right to expect her to keep quiet about it.
Tell your mother this! Tell her you need to talk to someone about it! There is a difference between private family information such as "my uncle is in a mental hospital and my mother has wonky boobs" and information such as "my brother is making our lives a misery". Why is he allowed to get away with this? Does your mother adore him and think he can do no wrong?
Seriously, this issue needs to be resolved and maybe telling your friend has brought it into the foreground and you can start dealing with it
Tell your mother this! Tell her you need to talk to someone about it! There is a difference between private family information such as "my uncle is in a mental hospital and my mother has wonky boobs" and information such as "my brother is making our lives a misery". Why is he allowed to get away with this? Does your mother adore him and think he can do no wrong?
Seriously, this issue needs to be resolved and maybe telling your friend has brought it into the foreground and you can start dealing with it
You have every right to confide in a friend. I can understand your mum not liking you complaining about her to other people - but she's being completely unreasonable if she says that you shouldn't share "private information" - after all, keeping too many secrets isn't good for anyone. Have you spoken with your friend about it? See if you can find out why they spoke to your mum. After all, maybe he was just really worried about you.
Wow! I can't believe the attitude of those who believe you 'deserve' punishment. Okay, so your mom will be upset that domestic issues have been spoken about outside of the home but, really, you're allowed to talk about issues that concern you. You're a part of your mom's family and you therefore have the right to air concerns that you have. If your mother does angry, you need to 'grin and bear it', but not without making it very clear that your home situation is detrimental to your wellbeing.
The family should never be so insular that you end up suffering in silence.
The family should never be so insular that you end up suffering in silence.
Thanks for all your replies.
Well I spoke to her last night. I wrote her a note, but when I went to leave it in her room, she was awake anyway. So I told her everything and she took my side (I think) and said she was going to speak to my friend. Well I was still too scared to get up this morning as I thought she'd be angry. I got up and she'd taken the note as I'd left it on my desk. I've just had a text from the friend saying 'I dont appreciate being harassed at work by your mum.' well i don't know what's happened and she doesn't know where he works so hmm....i'm concerned. I'm going to go and show her the text now.
and yeah...she does know about these problems with my brother. she's known about them for ages as he's horrible to the whole family, not just me. but she doesn't like me making the family look bad. this friend is also trying to split me and a close male friend (who he also knows) up and im not happy about that at all. so i'm also going to have to try and talk to my other friend and hope and pray that i don't lose his friendship.
Well I spoke to her last night. I wrote her a note, but when I went to leave it in her room, she was awake anyway. So I told her everything and she took my side (I think) and said she was going to speak to my friend. Well I was still too scared to get up this morning as I thought she'd be angry. I got up and she'd taken the note as I'd left it on my desk. I've just had a text from the friend saying 'I dont appreciate being harassed at work by your mum.' well i don't know what's happened and she doesn't know where he works so hmm....i'm concerned. I'm going to go and show her the text now.
and yeah...she does know about these problems with my brother. she's known about them for ages as he's horrible to the whole family, not just me. but she doesn't like me making the family look bad. this friend is also trying to split me and a close male friend (who he also knows) up and im not happy about that at all. so i'm also going to have to try and talk to my other friend and hope and pray that i don't lose his friendship.
ok...update....
she rang him at work and asked him what he had to say to her and he hung up. she she rang back and spoke to his dad (who he works for) and his dad is now going to talk to him tonight. argh! this is sooooo bad.
she rang him at work and asked him what he had to say to her and he hung up. she she rang back and spoke to his dad (who he works for) and his dad is now going to talk to him tonight. argh! this is sooooo bad.
chaywa
You deserve whatever punishment you're getting. Private Information is supposed to be kept private, and breaking that privacy trust will cause other factors of general trust to arise as well..
Your a fool if you believe that to be true. Everyone talks to other people, the only mistake the OP made was talking to someone who turned out to be untrustworthy. Often keeping things within the family is the best way to cause even greater problems. Friends talk to friends about all kinds of things, personal issues included.
Why does your mum talk to your friend on MSN? How odd 
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