How to initiate the Sex Conversation?

hi

i've been dating my gf for 4 months now. it's great, i'm really starting to fall for her. anyways, i've had sex before though and she's a virgin. now, i'd never do anything to pressure her into anything, but i think it's important for us to at least just talk about having sex etc.

but how do i go about initiating the talk? i don't want to come off as some sex-driven/crazed pig!

Reply 1

Louise88

If you two are close then it shouldn't be a problem. I mean, if you two can talk about important things, intimate things then just sit her down and speak to her. I know it's difficult, but she isn't going to think that you are sex driven. Explain to her that you feel ready to take things further in the relationship but if that isn't what she wants right now, tell her you are willing to wait. It's an awkward talk to bring up out of the blue, I know but once you start talking about it, it shouldn't be a problem. If you want to know how she feels, you just have to ask. There is no other way around it i'm afraid. You either ask and you know where you stand, or you don't and you are left unsure.

Reply 2

dh00001

16

in the beggining god made man and god made women. he only made two. what do you think they were supposed to do? :p:

or you could just ask her if she wants to take the physical side of your relationship further as you feel ready but are fine if shes not.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

if it makes you feel any better i was quite relieved when my boyfriend brought up the subject when i was a virgin. She's sure to have thought about it but since she's never done it before and you have it would probably seem more natural for you to be the one to bring it up.

i wouldn't imagine you'd come accross all that badly so long as you didn't say anything too crude lol. it is a normal thing to talk about after all.

Reply 4

Reue

20

"Whats your view on sex before marriage?"

Reply 5

pink_lucie

14

I wana take the next step?

erm...how can you be together for 4 months and NOT talk about sex? how old are you?

Reply 6

LaurenFah

14

pink_lucie

erm...how can you be together for 4 months and NOT talk about sex? how old are you?

She's a virgin and they have taken it slow? I don't see a problem with that.
But yeah, I agree with what the other posters have said, it'll probably be a relief to her that you have brought it up, so just go ahead and do it in whatever way you feel comfortable with (without being smutty etc, but thats a bit obvious).

Reply 7

Louise88

It's very easy to be with someone for a period of time and not talk about it. My boyfriend and I didn't talk about it for a while, we weren't comfortable with it at that point as the relationship was still new to us and we didn't know each other that well. There is nothing wrong with it at all and it's hardly impossible. Some people take their time about it, it's hardly a crime.

Reply 8

lil'p

10

just ask her if she wants to take relationship to next level

she might get the hint (either that or she'll think your asking for marriage lol)

Reply 9

ISH

9

"do your pants have a spare bedroom I can live in?"

Reply 10

stepheh

12

pink_lucie

I wana take the next step?

erm...how can you be together for 4 months and NOT talk about sex? how old are you?

Well, it obviously happens, seeing as these two haven't.

what a ridiculous reply :rolleyes:

remember that not everyone is the same as you.

He's obviously old enough to be having sex, therefore old enough to be in an adult relationship.

OPi don't see why you should be nervous about it. I mean, it wouldn't be like you were saying to her 'i want to have sex RIGHT now' . Just make sure she knows that you're not forcing anything on her. It's kind of a sign to her that you're getting more serious.
which is good :smile:

Reply 11

jennyflake

Just an idea...why not try asking when there are other people about...not as in with a group of friends...but say youre at a pub and its the two of you...but then shell obviously know you dont mean lets have sex right now..?!?

Reply 12

Reue

20

jennyflake

Just an idea...why not try asking when there are other people about...not as in with a group of friends...but say youre at a pub and its the two of you...but then shell obviously know you dont mean lets have sex right now..?!?

Lol

... Thats all i have to say about that idea.

Reply 13

Fluent in Lies

2

"Let's talk about sex, baby"

Reply 14

goodmen

13

wow waiting 4months. Your a better man than i

Reply 15

Talya

16

goodmen

wow waiting 4months. Your a better man than i

4 months is nothing when you are a teenager! If she doesn't feel ready you can't pressure her, that is just wrong!

Reply 16

Anthonyjm71

9

lil'p

just ask her if she wants to take relationship to next level

she might get the hint (either that or she'll think your asking for marriage lol)

tell how ya feel see wheres it goes from there. :smile:

Reply 17

Airel

14

Come up with a cheesy line. Repeat until preferred texture is accomplished.

Reply 18

Anonymous #3

I was staying at his one night and we were having one of those deep conversations instead of sleeping, and were talking about past parntners. We'd both assumed we were each virgins and we were discussing that, then he just asked me how I felt about us going further. To be honest I was happy that he asked me because I'd been thinking about it a while but was too shy to bring it up myself.. like someone else on here said, she may be thinking about it for all you know but just not willing to bring it up herself. Just go ahead and ask her because it's the only thing to do really, but don't put any pressure on her. We didn't actually sleep together for a couple of months after that conversation but had many conversations where he reassured me that he'd wait as long as necessary and be as gentle as possible and stop if it hurt too much etc. If you're not rushing her then you're definitely not going to come across as completely sex-crazed, just a caring boyfriend :smile:

Reply 19

theredsox

15

Reminds me of a situation I had with a boyfriend once. I said something like, "If you don't ask you don't get" about something completely different.
To which he promptly said, "Can I have sex with you?"

How to initiate the Sex Conversation?

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