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Ever felt fed up with dating, love, sex, relationships?
I know very well that it's natural for us humans to be in love and all.
Even the most unsocial anti-conformists somehow look for love in their lives...
However, at a purely emotional level, have you ever felt fed up with having a purpose in life that revolves around love?
I'm asking everyone, regardless of how good or bad you are at dating, maintaining a relationship, picking up chicks.
Don't you think that sometimes love (and all that is related to it) is attributed too much importance and commercial attention?
Don't you think, at a purely emotional level, that life can be much more fun other than just love/sex/dating/relationships?
Sex, love, dating... always the same old thing. There's nothing really different, ... nothing original,... I dunno how... and yet we value it so much?
I know everyone has different preferences, however I have the impression that most of us (including myself) somehow see love as a very important aspect of our life...
Is it really that important or is it just a commercialized social convention that we can be free to simply not care about?
Even the most unsocial anti-conformists somehow look for love in their lives...
However, at a purely emotional level, have you ever felt fed up with having a purpose in life that revolves around love?
I'm asking everyone, regardless of how good or bad you are at dating, maintaining a relationship, picking up chicks.
Don't you think that sometimes love (and all that is related to it) is attributed too much importance and commercial attention?
Don't you think, at a purely emotional level, that life can be much more fun other than just love/sex/dating/relationships?
Sex, love, dating... always the same old thing. There's nothing really different, ... nothing original,... I dunno how... and yet we value it so much?
I know everyone has different preferences, however I have the impression that most of us (including myself) somehow see love as a very important aspect of our life...
Is it really that important or is it just a commercialized social convention that we can be free to simply not care about?
Reply 1
Don't you believe that love makes life worth living? Well i know without it i wouldn't have much to live for.
Reply 2
Love means different things to different people. Love isn't what everyone considers the meaning of life, it's not always the first thing on their list to achieve. People live for different things, for their job's for example. It's the most important thing to some people, but not to others. Not all love is the same, i've had two loves and each completely different and I know that if I were to break up with my current partner, my next love will be completely different from what I have right now. The process is the same, but the feelings aren't.
Is it such a bad thing to live your life for love? The love of your family, the love of another human being? Love can make us happy, it can make us sad. Sometimes it doesn't work out and sometimes it does. It's important that we have someone we care so strongly about. You could have the most fantastic job ever, a great car, a great house but if you don't have someone you care so strongly about, why does all that matter?
We value love because it's important, because as well as living our lives to the full by having that dream job, everything at our fingertips, without it life really would be pointless. Yes, to some extent I believe that love is comercialized but without it, what have we got exactly? You can't just get rid of love. That would mean losing family, friends, partners. All the things that are important to us, how depressing would that be? Very.
I would be lost without love, it's very important to me. It's ten times more important to me than anything else and without it, I don't know what I would do. It doesn't mean the same to everyone, if they find it then they find it but to me, i've found it and i'll do anything to keep a hold of it cause to be quite frank, my life wouldn't be worth living without it. The thing is, you get people who just don't care.
Is it such a bad thing to live your life for love? The love of your family, the love of another human being? Love can make us happy, it can make us sad. Sometimes it doesn't work out and sometimes it does. It's important that we have someone we care so strongly about. You could have the most fantastic job ever, a great car, a great house but if you don't have someone you care so strongly about, why does all that matter?
We value love because it's important, because as well as living our lives to the full by having that dream job, everything at our fingertips, without it life really would be pointless. Yes, to some extent I believe that love is comercialized but without it, what have we got exactly? You can't just get rid of love. That would mean losing family, friends, partners. All the things that are important to us, how depressing would that be? Very.
I would be lost without love, it's very important to me. It's ten times more important to me than anything else and without it, I don't know what I would do. It doesn't mean the same to everyone, if they find it then they find it but to me, i've found it and i'll do anything to keep a hold of it cause to be quite frank, my life wouldn't be worth living without it. The thing is, you get people who just don't care.
Reply 3
Have we been trained to stay blind towards other forms of life, joy and fun?
I'm really not trying to be philosophical or debating.
I'm feeling this at an emotional/personal-growth level.
Isn't there much, much more to life, than just love...?
I mean the love as in relationship. Not love towards parents, relatives, friends, the world.
I mean specifically love as in partners and dating, marrying, and whatever happens in between and thereafter
I also used to say that, what you just said:
Why not? What is it that makes us believe that "life would have no meaning"?
As I said, I also used to think that way,... but somehow I'm starting to feel limited, constrained by such a way of ranking my values.
But why?
I'm really not trying to be philosophical or debating.
I'm feeling this at an emotional/personal-growth level.
Isn't there much, much more to life, than just love...?
I mean the love as in relationship. Not love towards parents, relatives, friends, the world.
I mean specifically love as in partners and dating, marrying, and whatever happens in between and thereafter
I also used to say that, what you just said:
Louise88
You could have the most fantastic job ever, a great car, a great house but if you don't have someone you care so strongly about, why does all that matter?
You could have the most fantastic job ever, a great car, a great house but if you don't have someone you care so strongly about, why does all that matter?
Why not? What is it that makes us believe that "life would have no meaning"?
As I said, I also used to think that way,... but somehow I'm starting to feel limited, constrained by such a way of ranking my values.
Louise88
without it life really would be pointless.
without it life really would be pointless.
But why?
Reply 4
I just mean that for me, it's the most important that, without it, it would be pointless. It's fair enough having all those things but they would mean so much more to me if I had someone to share it with. I honestly can't put into words how much my boyfriend means to me, and how important our relationship is. Without him, I doubt I would be this happy so yeah, it is important to me and as long as I have it, i'm happy.
It's just so different for everyone else, my last post was very general but it's just my own thoughts based on how my life is at the moment. I can safely say that right now, it's the most important thing to me and without it, I really do think I would be lost. I've honestly never been this happy.
Edit: Everything else in my life makes me happy, and is very important to me. I can see how important other things are, but love is more important than any of those things. I couldn't tell you why that is, it's just something that I feel. It's really difficult to explain...
It's just so different for everyone else, my last post was very general but it's just my own thoughts based on how my life is at the moment. I can safely say that right now, it's the most important thing to me and without it, I really do think I would be lost. I've honestly never been this happy.
Edit: Everything else in my life makes me happy, and is very important to me. I can see how important other things are, but love is more important than any of those things. I couldn't tell you why that is, it's just something that I feel. It's really difficult to explain...
I suppose it sometimes screams of contrived evolutionary processes to me... The attraction between one person and another in many cases is from just a chance seeding of chemicals in the brain, than any great respect for one another. Although not always. But purely from this viewpoint kissing, sex, relationships and all does seem rather... false.
But back to the question - I don't see why there has to be a purpose in life, quite happy without one! Although love/lust is still powerful, when not privy to it and from the outside (even though I do know it), it just seems a little false. And I'm no nilhistic emo kid, and am quite happy and extrovert! There is surely more to life than love - the enjoyment from music, sport, or friends, activities, comedy et al. Admittedly, they're all to do with chemicals in the brain, it's just that they seem less contrived than lust and sometimes from that, veiled love.
But back to the question - I don't see why there has to be a purpose in life, quite happy without one! Although love/lust is still powerful, when not privy to it and from the outside (even though I do know it), it just seems a little false. And I'm no nilhistic emo kid, and am quite happy and extrovert! There is surely more to life than love - the enjoyment from music, sport, or friends, activities, comedy et al. Admittedly, they're all to do with chemicals in the brain, it's just that they seem less contrived than lust and sometimes from that, veiled love.
Reply 6
I wasn't implying that there should be a "purpose" in life.
I was just mentioning the fact that many (most) people actually make their lives revolve around love, both when it's there and when it's not. For the latter case, just look how many people worry, get depressed, spend money, commit suicide, merely due to reasons generally linked to the realm of love and lust...
From a rational and scientific point of view it might be easy to say what you said.
But also form a "feeling" point of view; don't you think love (as in relationship love, and not parents love or friends love) is over-mystified, over-ranked, by the majority of us?
I was just mentioning the fact that many (most) people actually make their lives revolve around love, both when it's there and when it's not. For the latter case, just look how many people worry, get depressed, spend money, commit suicide, merely due to reasons generally linked to the realm of love and lust...
From a rational and scientific point of view it might be easy to say what you said.
But also form a "feeling" point of view; don't you think love (as in relationship love, and not parents love or friends love) is over-mystified, over-ranked, by the majority of us?
Reply 8
Janice
Maybe you haven't experienced love?
Maybe you haven't experienced love?
Why do you think I posted this thread?
How can you feel fed up with something without ever having tried it?
(Unless of course you mean something deeply esoteric and mysterious with "love".)
I've experienced love, including both the highs and the lows.
And it has always been the same.
That's why I'm now starting the need to feel - sorry for the expression - "beyond" love.
Or maybe that's where I wanna go...
Reply 11
Anonymous
However, at a purely emotional level, have you ever felt fed up with having a purpose in life that revolves around love?
I have rarely thought about my life's purpose being for 'love' to be honest I'm working on myself before I even worry about that.
Anonymous
Don't you think, at a purely emotional level, that life can be much more fun other than just love/sex/dating/relationships?
Ofcourse it is and can be. But somepeople are just too narrow minded.
The thing I hate is guys or girls who just think about sex all the bloody time. They just go out to pick up chicks and to sleep with them. They are deceitful and care little about what they are doing to the other person half the time, as long they get in bed they feel they have succeeded. There is soo much more in life that sex and relationships. Sure it's nice to feel loved..but love is another story.
Yeah i know what you mean i thought exactly the same, and i still now (to an extent) even after my first boyfriend. Ofcourse love is nice but [most of the time] i'm thankfull that i have my own seperate life/friends etcetera as does he. Marriage scares me, the idea of constantly being and living with someone scares me. You need to have space to do things and experience other aspects of life outside the relationship. I have two friends who are contantly together we go ot together, go on holiday together, shop together and soon will be living together, its going to be hard for them because they have come to depend on each other too much.
Coming back to someone at the end of a day is nice but im not gonna kill myself if i dont.
Coming back to someone at the end of a day is nice but im not gonna kill myself if i dont.
Reply 13
Yep I get fed up with it. So many people I know place so much emphasis on romantic love and get depressed because they either haven't got it or have lost it. I think that sometimes it can be all consuming and over prioritized in life but thats just my opinion.
Reply 14
love isnt everything but its important. there are more things to life like self actualization which is probably more important.
My dilemma:
I had a long-term relationship. When we broke up it was horrible for a long time. I had hoped we would stay together. Now I reckon I couldn't properly give myself to a relationship that I knew wasn't going to last because I would know that one day I would get hurt. Therefore the only relationship where I could give myself fully would be one that was hopefully going to lead to marriage etc. Yet I'm not nearly ready right now to meet my future husband! But yet I still meet guys that I like & would like it to go somewhere with, whihc is what I just decided I didn't want! I feel like I'm going around in circles! If anyone understood that then well done!
I had a long-term relationship. When we broke up it was horrible for a long time. I had hoped we would stay together. Now I reckon I couldn't properly give myself to a relationship that I knew wasn't going to last because I would know that one day I would get hurt. Therefore the only relationship where I could give myself fully would be one that was hopefully going to lead to marriage etc. Yet I'm not nearly ready right now to meet my future husband! But yet I still meet guys that I like & would like it to go somewhere with, whihc is what I just decided I didn't want! I feel like I'm going around in circles! If anyone understood that then well done!
Reply 17
perhaps you are gay
Reply 18
Well I only feel this way when I see everyone around me who all have boyfriends/girlfriends, and there I am without anyone.
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