A year and a half into a relationship...q?

I'm a year and a half into a relationship and I've really enjoyed it. We had a rough patch over christmas when I went home because we didn't see each other much but everything is fine now.

My question is that this is the first serious relationship I've been in and I'm wondering if it's normal to have sex only once every week or on the odd occasion 2? I know that's an 'off the bat' question but I'm just wondering if this is the usual thing that happens when relationships get serious? If it is that's fine with me, we used to sleep together lots more when we first went out but it's down down hill in terms of frequency.

Although I'm asking a message board about the frequency of sex in our relationship, I love this girl and this is simply a question.

Thanks for the advice in advance.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

gracie88

Me and my bf have sex once/twice a week we've been going out the same length of time... i dunno he's less bothered than i am about it.

Reply 2

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

Quite normal.
Hubby and I probably have sex about once a fortnight if that.
That's what happens when relationships get lengthy - you start to fall into a routine and the initial "passion" sort of fades away and turns into more of a "comfortable love" if that makes sense.

Reply 3

dh00001

there isnt really a normal or a usual when it comes to relationships. you can draw comparisons where you like but ultimalty whatever the pair of you are happy and comfortable with is right

Reply 4

Fowler_no9

Put simply, if it's right for the two of you, then it's IS right.

There are no steadfast rules, and if you're both happy to have sex once or twice a week, then where's the problem?

I have been in both long and short relationships, and after the initial excitement has died down, the frequency does reduce. (I'm currently about 4 months into the sexual side of a relationship, but we're still at it 4/5 times a week on average.)

Initially it's everyday (and if time permits, more than once a day!), then it goes to every other day, every three days, etc.

I'd say once/twice a week is about average after 1 1/2 years. Obviously you get differing sex-drives, where one couple could be perfectly happy with sex once a month, whereas others would feel rejected and frustrated if they didn't have it 4 times a day. This is what makes the human race so interesting - we're all different.

The best advice I can give is to ask your girlfriend if she's happy. If she is - enjoy what you've got.

If not - ask her what she would like to change, and work on it together. That's how relationships stay strong imo.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Two and a half years, once a month if I'm very lucky :rolleyes:

Reply 6

lady

iv been with my boyfriend for two and a half years and we have sex most days. maybe we're the ones who arnt normal???!!!everyone's different so dont worry about it. However if you want to have more frequent sex then why dont you initiate it and spice things up a liitle. xxx

Reply 7

Phantom Phoenix

lady

iv been with my boyfriend for two and a half years and we have sex most days. maybe we're the ones who arnt normal???!!!

Nah, I think you're just lucky! :p:

I haven't got to this stage yet with my boyfriend. However, after 7 months we have calmed down a bit and I can see the signs of what Xena Glam Rocker usefully calls "comfortable love" coming on. Fortunately I'm just happy to have found a guy who still wants me when he doesn't want to have sex all the time anymore! OP, I'd pay attention to Xena's post. Consensus seems to be that you're perfectly normal. :smile:

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Anonymous

Two and a half years, once a month if I'm very lucky :rolleyes:

Maybe you should have a chat with your bf/gf about it if it's not enough for you? Why don't they want sex? etc etc

My bf and I probably manage twice/three times a week if he's lucky.. of course he wants more! (been together 3+ years)

Reply 9

stepheh

It's different for every relationship.
a couple I know that have been together for 3 years, have sex everyday.

Reply 10

Louise88

It's completely different in every relationship, there is no "normal" number of times to have sex because it's completely unique to every relationship. Once a week, Twice a week or Thirteen times a week - They are all completely normal! :p:

Everyone goes through a phase when they start a relationship where you want it all the time, all over the place. Eventually, like people have already said, it kind of slows down and you sometimes stop having sex as much as you used to. Nothing to worry about, happens in most relationships. Just you two have as much sex as you like, don't worry about what is normal or what isn't because there is no real answer to that.

Reply 11

suicidal_dream

im 9 months into a relationship and we have less sex now but its still as awesome as before when we do have sex - but its also partly cos we enjoy doing other stuff in each others company now - playing on games consoles, he's teaching me guitar, etc etc.

and we're both ok with it cos we're satisfied and happy.

if its right for the both of you, then it is right.

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

Maybe you should have a chat with your bf/gf about it if it's not enough for you? Why don't they want sex? etc etc

Well, it's not that he doesn't want it. It's just.. I don't find sex with him at all sexual (if you understand my meaning). There's nothing sexy or erotic about our lovemaking and to put it bluntly I'm incredibly bored. I feel horny most of the time, but I avoid sex with him because it's such a disappointment. And makes me bleed because I'm never turned on.

I've tried helping him along but he doesn't seem to take on board anything I say to him.. He's never heard of foreplay either :rolleyes:

I'm so frustrated afterwards I feel like crying. That's why we've only had it twice in about 3 or 4 months - both times I was drunk and he tore me.

Reply 13

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

Anonymous

And makes me bleed because I'm never turned on.

It's not usual to bleed if it's not your first time, even if you're not turned on.

I can imagine it being sore if you're not lubricated - which is likely if you're not turned on - but bleeding doesn't sound right to me.

Have you seen a doctor about this?

Reply 14

featheredblack

its yourt life, if you want to have sex once a week, twice a week or 5 times a day, the go for it! there is no average amount of sex you should be having. maybe having it spaced out means you can appreciate eachother more, with the whole "the heart will grow fonder" theory. you should use some sex toys or body lick, it will make you look forward to having sex more. but i guess thats down to the person

Reply 15

Anonymous #4

Heh...over 3 years down the line here, and it's usually twice or 3 times as week, as we're in a long-distance relationship, so it all happens on weekends. Usually means I'm exhausted come Monday, heh...

Reply 16

Anonymous #5

gracie88

Me and my bf have sex once/twice a week we've been going out the same length of time... i dunno he's less bothered than i am about it.

Once/twice a WEEK?? My boyfriend and I have sex more times than that in a DAY. No, a MORNING. We average about 20 times a week I'd say.

It's such *******s that you have sex less once you've been going out longer. You are a prude and a half. I hope to increase the number of times we have sex as the weeks go on!

Reply 17

Talya

Anonymous

Please don't call someone a prude just because they have a different sex drive to you. If her and her boyfriend are satisfied with once or twice a week, that's FINE, surely? It means they are matched well. Just as you and your bf are matched well.

Reply 18

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

Anonymous

You are a prude and a half.

people who have sex infrequently are no more prudish than you are nymphomanic for having it so often.

Talya is right - different frequencies work for different people. Don't be so rude!