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What should i do??

Hey i have a little problem and wouldnt mind some outsider advice??

When my bf went to uni in september i missed him at first. But now i dont! Ive really came back out of my shell that i slowly crawled into for the past 3years always been knwn as *his gf* Ive made lots of new mates and feel free to do stuff when i plz without havin to fit some1 elses schedule. Sounds really selfish i knw but when he's back i feal really suffocated :confused:

I mean i do really love the guy, hes wonderful, really nice and caring and loves to party and wot i always thought i wanted. The thing is im goin to the same city, although a diff uni in september and he thinks this is going to be great that we can always see each other, i am however dreadin him being there. Uni is an experience i want for myself :confused:

Is this really selfish?

Should i ditch him or just stick with him? Also we have booked a holiday together in late august???

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I know what you mean there its a difficult one isnt it?? when you love someone but also wanna do your own thing. I think what im trying to do is to kind of compromise, making sure they know the situation and that I want to go out and meet new people whilst also still being with them. If that doesnt work I guess I will end up breaking up with her.

Reply 2

Louise88

Everyone wants to experience university for themselves, it's not selfish at all. It's a big moment in your life, something that you will never forget and it's something that nothing else will come close to. You should enjoy it, every single little bit of it and I believe you will, but you can do this with your boyfriend by your side. It's possible to juggle university with a relationship but it doesn't sound like you really want to do that. If being in this relationship isn't what you want then you should maybe speak to your boyfriend. Just because you two will be in the same city, it doesn't mean that you have to live in each other's pockets. It's possible to do your own thing, be independent even when you have someone.

This is your life, your experience, you live it how you want to live it because you'll only get this chance once. If you want to do it, no strings tied, then go for it and make the most of your university experience. I hope you figure out what it is you really want, I wish you the best of luck.

Reply 3

Can't you tell him that? Tell him you were a bit in each others pockets in the past and you've really enjoyed having time with friends as well as with him, and could it stay that way when you're at uni.

Only see him 2-3 nights a week and for the rest of the time, devote yourself to those stacks of uni friends you'll be making! If he loves you he'll respect that. It's really not healthy to be in a relationship where all you are is an 'us', you need to be 'you' sometimes too. Good luck sweety!

Reply 4

Flank Runner

its called alone time, you want it, then have it, if he can't deal with that, then ditch his sorry ass and have some fun

Reply 5

username47781

Well you can have a relationship and a social life outside it, it's not a crime, if he don't like you having a bit of a social side, as flank runner said, dump him.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Thanks your advice really helped! I think im going to see how the summer goes and if i feal i need more space im afraid ill have to call it a day!

Reply 7

*Claire*

When I went to uni I enjoyed the me time, doing what I liked whenever. I didn't miss my bf that much. We ended up breaking up. A while later I really regretted it becoz we did have a good relationship. It was the right thing at the time but now I sometimes wonder if I gave up too easily.

Reply 8

username47781

I think the problem with alot of relationships and uni, is people do throw the towel in much too soon. You can easily have a good social life outside of a relationship, but I see where it gets difficult because so many issues like trust and jealousy come up then. But if you have a good relationship, don't see why you can't enjoy time alone or in the company of other friends as well.