Fear of failure

I am revising for my Uni exams at the minute and for some reason I can't stop thinking about "what if I fail?" I feel its got to the point of being unhealthy. I think I know why I think like this though: it is the fact that I am the first in my family to go to Uni and because of this fact I feel like I have a lot of pressure from my family coming down on me to do well. I think it is affecting my exam preparation and don't know how to cope with it really. I don't know what posting on here acheives other than getting it off my chest slightly. I expect a lot of people get this feeling and sometimes wonder how they cope with it. The old adage of "you did your best" in the event that I do fail (or if I don't get that magic 2:1) doesn't seem to give me any comfort either despite the fact that I know I am trying my damn hardest. I was just wondering if anyone on here gets this overwhelming feeling and how they cope with it...

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Just in case someone moves this post, I thought this was the best place to post it because it is something that relates to mental health.

Reply 2

Rosie151

I know what you mean. I'm taking A2s at the moment which are much easier but sometimes I get really frightened that I'm going to fail and mess up my whole future. I was fine last year and didn't really notice the pressure but now I've been having nightmares about failing/bizarre things happening in the exam hall etc.

And sometimes I get scared to the extent that I mess up due to my fear rather than lack of knowledge or ability. I took an important exam recently where I couldn't concentrate at all. Every few minutes I would stop and look around the room and think, 'oh god, if i dont do any more questions ill only have got thirty percent and ill have screwed up my life'. needless to say, this obsessing made me do far worse in the exam than i would have done otherwise.

i think that everyone has to get over this fear. firstly understand that youre not alone by any means. there is a huge amount of pressure on us nowadays that there wasnt in the past. accept that there is a lot of pressure, accept that you are going to feel stressed and don't beat yourself up for getting worried.

secondly remind yourself about how much you've already achieved and all the times you havent screwed up. why should this time be any different?

and thirdly concentrate on the work itself. not the grades, not the exams but the actual work. if you prepare well now, even if you panic in the exam, chances are that you will be able to overcome your nerves and get a good mark. draw up a good revision timetable. divide it into days. and stick to it. think 'today im going to do chapter 1.' that's it. no need to worry about chapter 2. no need to think 'what if i dont finish in time'. just do the work for the day. remind yourself that you enjoy the subject, after all you chose it for uni.

if you feel super stressed out, take a short break, say ten minutes, close your eyes, listen to some music, then get back to work.

another idea someone told me is to write down all your worries at the end of every day. say from 9 to 9.15 every day is your 'worry time'. if you think of anything else during the rest of the day, push it to the back of your mind. you can think about it in your worry time. also helps to write it down and get it into perspective.

why do you think youre going to fail? do you find the work difficult? then ask a professor or fellow student for help. are you behind on revision? then get on with your revision. there's still time. are you bad at taking exams? obviously not, since you've got this far already.

hope this helps a bit
xx

Reply 3

kimble

Every day I feel like this. My parents keep syaing I'm not working hard enough when I work every day 9-6, or they say I don't go out enough, as soon as I go out they say I don't work hard enough. I don't knw what I want to do with a Geogrpahy degree (YET!!) but they are convinced it's a waste of time and want me to into business managment.
There was so much pressure for me to pas my driving test first time (I failed twice) and every time my parents gave me the look fo "we knew you would fail" when I did pass I didn't tell my mum, I just carried on my day like normall untill my mum said "so howd you fail this time?"
I know I should be proud in myself, but how can I be if no one else is?

Reply 4

derf

Personally, it sounds as if you're taking this education thing too seriously. If you fail, it will not screw up your "future" at all. The trouble with some youngsters is that they're very self-conscious and lack a good deal of confidence. Be honest to yourself and others and the problem will solve itself.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

I have the same problem, I think it might be related to my OCD. However, I got the necessary grades last year.

That still doesn't stop me though, it continues in different forms. I'm taking a gap year at the moment and I'm in the application process and I'm convinced that something will go wrong somewhere. Every time I send out paperwork I ring the destination for confirmation of receipt, I **** myself when I realised I forgot to declare a grade on UCAS and rang up the university twice to see if it was okay, it is as though my mind is constantly creating scenarios of things that will go wrong with my application, be it the actual application or application for accommodation or student finance etc. I hope it shows you that your thoughts are totally irrational and that there is in reality nothing to worry about, it probably just demonstrates that you want to pass so much.

I am the only one with any reasonable success in terms of qualifications in my family too so it may stem from that

Reply 6

Fluffy

I always get fear failure - quite badly at times. I did comtemplate getting CBT after last years end of year exams, until one of my lecturers asked "what if it is the fear that makes you perform well"... Decided to live with it, although I'm sure I'll regret that decision in 11 short weeks time *gulp*...

Reply 7

lil'p

i understand wat u think

i always thought if i gave it my best shot come exams i will pass,,,the more negative you think the more chacne you have of failing THINK POSTIVE!!

Reply 8

Rooftopcowboy

Think everyone thinks this..

im doing year2 uni exams in a few weeks, and ive thought 'what if I fail' it'd be thousands of pounds wasted, and id be left aged 20 not having a clue what to do!

just try and occpy yourself doing more and more revision.

Reply 9

hixey101

it sounds really geekish but i find if i do a revision/work plan for the next week I tend to stick to it and it stops me worrying so much cos I know what im doing when.

Reply 10

80s Love Child!

Just do your best. Never be pessimistic - as it can only worsen the situation. :wink:

everytime you do something right, reward yourself e.g. by treating yourself to a cinema with your friends, etc. If you've done something wrong e.g. failed something - think about what you can do to avoid failure next time. Life is a matter of trial and error. We don't have to be perfectionists. :smile:

Reply 11

Joric

Anonymous

I am revising for my Uni exams at the minute and for some reason I can't stop thinking about "what if I fail?" QUOTE]

Write down waht will happen if you fail Then find out if that is something you can never overcome in life?

Reply 12

Anonymous #3

i've done no work over the holiday/easter and cant seem to motivate myself.you guys all have this fear of failure, but i dont have the fear or the panic alarms ringing as they should be . . .i just seem to be relaxed about the forthcoming exams . . .when they are going to be my hardest exams . . . how can i motivate myself . . cos for me t's not a Fear of failure . . . but potential failure :mad:

Reply 13

8people

I have a fear of failure as well, over the A levels I've not been performing too well, though, this will sound ridiculous and rather petty, it wasn't entirely my fault I did badly. Alongside my mother being the sort to believe anything below a high grade B a failure and not understanding how A levels actually WORK it's been a fun two years :P

Unfortunately I have a pretty awful 'coping mechanism' I give up. I can't concentrate on anything, I can't think, I get depressed (got medical depression, not emo-style "nobody understands me!") and generally panic a lot.

Problem is I'm not the only person struggling with work, all my friends find work a challenge, but I feel like I'm always behind them all, I work for hours on end at home and my mother refuses to believe I do *anything*, she's even been to parents evenings and told my teachers I don't work! Unfortunately my performance usually means they side with her (memory issues, I'll do homework and forget to take it in, not do homework because I don't remember it or do a certain piece several times because I don't remember DOING it! Grr.)

I've just had to resort to the old saying "take it a day at a time."