My behaviour is so unfair but I can't help it.

I'm such a pig. I have a boyfriend but I'm pushing him away, I had a week off school so I didn't have to see him . I just can't help it, when I'm out of a relationship I crave it so bad but when I'm in it I ignore them so much theye end up rejecting me and it starts that vicious cycle all over again. I don't know, I thought this was different. I thought I liked him and I didn't wanna reject him for ages. Could it be because he calls me fat all the time jokingly? Because I don't think he realises how much it hurts, he apologise sfor other little jibes but my weight is something im so sensitive about since I have lost a lot recently and am planning to lose more...

I showed signs of being insecure resistant( AS pyschology student speak) basically seeking and rejecting contact with loved ones as a child,could this be linked to it.

I feel so terrible...

Reply 1

sparkle86

11

Hey.

I'm not so sure about the psychological side of it but regarding the "fat" comments, have you spoken to him about it? Saying how much it hurts you? He may not know how sensitive you are about it.

Don't lose weight just for him either. Lose it for you. And you alone. :smile:

Also just try and relax and enjoy the relationship. He's with you for a reason. If you don't try to stop rejecting guys now then you may keep doing for the rest of your life which i'm sure you don't want.

Take Care hun.

Karen x

Reply 2

80s Love Child!

You may not be insecurely resistant at all. It could be that you drive him away to avoid being called 'fat'. You may be very sensitive, self-concerned - that you don't want others to notice your physique, for example.

Next time, treat jokes humorously. Talk to your bf if you are offended by being called that. :smile:

Good Luck!

Reply 3

shona

10

Anonymous

I'm such a pig. I have a boyfriend but I'm pushing him away, I had a week off school so I didn't have to see him . I just can't help it, when I'm out of a relationship I crave it so bad but when I'm in it I ignore them so much theye end up rejecting me and it starts that vicious cycle all over again. I don't know, I thought this was different. I thought I liked him and I didn't wanna reject him for ages. Could it be because he calls me fat all the time jokingly? Because I don't think he realises how much it hurts, he apologise sfor other little jibes but my weight is something im so sensitive about since I have lost a lot recently and am planning to lose more...

I showed signs of being insecure resistant( AS pyschology student speak) basically seeking and rejecting contact with loved ones as a child,could this be linked to it.

I feel so terrible...

My advice... Don't overanalyse your relationship.

If your boyfriend says something that hurts you, tell him. In my experience, boys may say bloody insensitive things repeatedly, but if you tell them once that they hurt and why, they won't say them again. As my lovely boyfriend quite rightly says, if you keep quiet, how is your other half meant to know what's wrong?

If you enjoy being with someone, enjoy being with that person. Don't push them away if you actually want to spend time with them.

It's that simple.

Keep the AS Psychology in the classroom, and just trust your gut feelings when it comes to love.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Thing is I don't want to spend time with them anymore since the insults have gone too far, Maybe I am overanalysing it, as I do in most situations. What would be the easiest way to say to him that the insults have gone too far and I think our relationship has detiorated to the point that we should just split up and call it a day? I hate saying things in person but I know a phonecall or heaven forbid a text would be seen as sooo insensitive.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Well those 'fat' comments aren't going to do him any favours...he seems immature. Tell him you don't feel appreciated etc, or split up if it has gone too far.

My behaviour is so unfair but I can't help it.

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