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Fear of public speaking
I seem to have a really bad fear of public speaking. Mostly it comes up when I have to speak in seminars at uni. I'm an 18 yr old girl studying 1st year English and theres obviously a lot of debate...and I can think of good ideas but I just really hate explaining what I think out loud in public. I dont know whats wrong with me. I really have to psych myself up to even say anything and when I do I get really shaky and flustered. I've managed to avoid presentations and stuff this year but I'm dreading next year coz I know I'll have to face up to it.
The weird thing is, I'm quite a social person and when I'm out with friends I have no problem being confident and talking out loud. Its just when its in a silent, forced classroom situation that this happens. I worry that I look stupid coz I get flustered and I feel like everyone is looking at me. I dont like being the centre of attention in that sort of setting.
Its really getting me down. I want to do well on my course and I know I'll have to speak up but the only time I can ever do that is if I feel comfortable in front of the other people in the seminar. Often I dont know them that well and I feel so awkward. Towards the end of my A levels I started contributing more to class discussion, but that was only coz i felt like I'd got to know my classmates enough over the 2 years I was with them.
Does anyone else ever feel like this? Other people appear so confident! Any advice?
The weird thing is, I'm quite a social person and when I'm out with friends I have no problem being confident and talking out loud. Its just when its in a silent, forced classroom situation that this happens. I worry that I look stupid coz I get flustered and I feel like everyone is looking at me. I dont like being the centre of attention in that sort of setting.
Its really getting me down. I want to do well on my course and I know I'll have to speak up but the only time I can ever do that is if I feel comfortable in front of the other people in the seminar. Often I dont know them that well and I feel so awkward. Towards the end of my A levels I started contributing more to class discussion, but that was only coz i felt like I'd got to know my classmates enough over the 2 years I was with them.
Does anyone else ever feel like this? Other people appear so confident! Any advice?
Reply 1
Haha I have the exact same problem. In high school I always had to do oral presentations and they freaked me out. Teachers would say "it'll help your confidence and they more you do it, the easier it gets"..well that is so not true! I would stand in front of the class, feel my face turning red, my hands shaking terribly, I couldn't look up and my voice goes shaky too and I can hardly breathe. Like you, it only got easier when I knew all my class mates and stuff.
I just find it so confronting and I'm so vulnerable in front of everyone. At my uni, there's some seminars/lessons on public speaking. Perhaps your school/uni might have something like this or just talk to your teacher about it. I find that if you know the material well enough by practicing it over and over again it makes it easier some how. Good luck!
I just find it so confronting and I'm so vulnerable in front of everyone. At my uni, there's some seminars/lessons on public speaking. Perhaps your school/uni might have something like this or just talk to your teacher about it. I find that if you know the material well enough by practicing it over and over again it makes it easier some how. Good luck!
Reply 2
Fear of public speaking haunts all of us. this has to be conquered by practice.
Reply 3
I used to be like that too. If you're really adamant about changing this - because public speaking will be necessary in all walks of life after you graduate (unless you get a job in a library 
) - then you should join the OTC or the UNRU. It'll force the fear away, I can tell you.
As far as public speaking goes, people may appear confident, but when you look and listen closely, you'll find they're just as jittery as you. I once listened to a presentation given by a history seminar-mate of mine, and while he outwardly seemed to project great confidence, when I looked closely, his hands were shaking like hell, and his voice had a wobbly undercurrent in it. It's unfortunately true about the 'practice makes perfect' thing... you've got to bite the bullet.
) - then you should join the OTC or the UNRU. It'll force the fear away, I can tell you. As far as public speaking goes, people may appear confident, but when you look and listen closely, you'll find they're just as jittery as you. I once listened to a presentation given by a history seminar-mate of mine, and while he outwardly seemed to project great confidence, when I looked closely, his hands were shaking like hell, and his voice had a wobbly undercurrent in it. It's unfortunately true about the 'practice makes perfect' thing... you've got to bite the bullet.
Reply 4
I deal with it too .... but I am not at uni yet. I hope that when I start university it will change - but well, who knows?
It was okey in past 2 schools, I don't know what happened !!! It is really strange, cuz I can think of the times when I was speaking in class, reading and I was not feeling like this, moreover people who were problems with it in those times caused a ???? in my head...
Maybe as someone said it's the reason that you were isoloated from the class - for sure it's my problem and it might have caused such problems.
It has the psychological base, and well - for me it helps when before speaking I smile a bit to myself - somehow thanks to it some amount of stress fades away...
It also helps if I think before it: "It's soon gonna be all over, now it's 10.50 in 3 minutes it will be all over!" OR:
"It's just a dream, I have to say it, and nothing willl happen, cuz it's only a dream!"
Sometimes out minds must be tricked...
Cuz after all it's all just in out heads..
It was okey in past 2 schools, I don't know what happened !!! It is really strange, cuz I can think of the times when I was speaking in class, reading and I was not feeling like this, moreover people who were problems with it in those times caused a ???? in my head...
Maybe as someone said it's the reason that you were isoloated from the class - for sure it's my problem and it might have caused such problems.
It has the psychological base, and well - for me it helps when before speaking I smile a bit to myself - somehow thanks to it some amount of stress fades away...
It also helps if I think before it: "It's soon gonna be all over, now it's 10.50 in 3 minutes it will be all over!" OR:
"It's just a dream, I have to say it, and nothing willl happen, cuz it's only a dream!"
Sometimes out minds must be tricked...
Cuz after all it's all just in out heads..
Reply 5
I know the feeling-I will avoid seminars where I have a presentation even if it means marks towards my degree. I just feel so nervous and stutter, im actually outgoing socially but i have always been like this at college/school/uni. I think that presentations are not a fair method of assessment.
Reply 6
I think there are several things that are important to become even remotely comfortable with public speaking. For me, I absolutely hated it and School and managed to avoid it... at School however, the relevance of it to my future wasn't particularly important. At College I was in a really small class (12 students lowering to 3 by the end of the 2nd year), and starting off in this environment really helped. Also, I found it helped to know the subject and topic inside and out. I genuinely felt I could answer (or at least... dodge cleverly) any question that I could be asked about the subject. I found it helpful to glance down at my notes regularly just so I didn't have to stare at the class, and then occasionally make eye contact with my tutor.
I think confidence really is important, practicing will certainly help and make you more confident not only in public speaking itself but in everyday life as well.
Just make sure what you are going to say is clearly set out in your mind before you say it, then speak loudly and slowly, and most importantly - make your point, don't waffle.
I think confidence really is important, practicing will certainly help and make you more confident not only in public speaking itself but in everyday life as well.
Just make sure what you are going to say is clearly set out in your mind before you say it, then speak loudly and slowly, and most importantly - make your point, don't waffle.
Reply 7
13
I used to be exactly the same. When I was at school/college, I was the quietest person ever, and would hate having do stand up in front of people to do anything like that
However, in my last year at college for my Law A Level I had to do a presentation on a topic of my choice, I was dreading it but when it came time to do it, I really loved it, and got a really good mark. That was it then, I just changed completely, it was like Id conquered my fear!! Ever since then speaking in public has never fazed me, and my confidence has really increased!
I now help to running training courses at my place of work believe it or not so standing up in front of people and giving presentations is a regular occurence!!
You just need to forget about everyone else, just go for it and enjoy it. Once you've done it a few times your confidence will really start to improve!!
However, in my last year at college for my Law A Level I had to do a presentation on a topic of my choice, I was dreading it but when it came time to do it, I really loved it, and got a really good mark. That was it then, I just changed completely, it was like Id conquered my fear!! Ever since then speaking in public has never fazed me, and my confidence has really increased!
I now help to running training courses at my place of work believe it or not so standing up in front of people and giving presentations is a regular occurence!!
You just need to forget about everyone else, just go for it and enjoy it. Once you've done it a few times your confidence will really start to improve!!
Reply 8
I have the same problem. In classes I'm usually fine because I know the people, as long as I prepare for the presentation beforehand. But last year I stupidly volunteered to be the sixth from rep to the school governors (this meant giving a presentation to a group of around twenty strange adults every half term). No matter how much I tried to calm myself down I was always a nervous wreck. What made it worse was that everyone could tell I was scared because my voice would shake and I would get all red and flustered just like everyone else is describing. I suppose an experience like this did help me in the long run as there's no way I can get any worse at public speaking 
.
Magicalstone is right about speaking slowly; resist the temptation to rush your speech to get it over with quickly as this will leave you even more flustered and out of breath and your point won't come across clearly.
Try mainly addressing the presentation/answer to your tutor, and concentrate on what you are saying rather than the fact that you're saying it to lots of people. Perhaps you could set yourself a goal to make a certain number of points in each seminar. Lastly, remember that your class and tutor are interested in your input to the discussion so be confident with your ideas. Good luck
. Magicalstone is right about speaking slowly; resist the temptation to rush your speech to get it over with quickly as this will leave you even more flustered and out of breath and your point won't come across clearly.
Try mainly addressing the presentation/answer to your tutor, and concentrate on what you are saying rather than the fact that you're saying it to lots of people. Perhaps you could set yourself a goal to make a certain number of points in each seminar. Lastly, remember that your class and tutor are interested in your input to the discussion so be confident with your ideas. Good luck
I'm exactly the same - I'm fine normally but stick me infront of a group of people and ask me to speak, and I'll turn beetroot red and my eyes start watering and I feel like I want to just sink into a huge hole in the floor!
Reply 10
i have the same problem too, im in yr 13 and ive started talking more in my classes but i have a real problem if i have to read things out. My voice goes all wobbly, i trip over the words and get all flustered which isnt good. I hope im not still like this when i go to uni
Reply 11
For presentations, just think: no one's really listening to you anyway. I know I always space out when someone else is speaking (or maybe I'm just a bad student?!)
Reply 12
You know what people say about imagining your audience in their underwear...maybe you should do that!
Reply 13
14
I'm afraid doing public speaking more regularly is the only way you can improve your confidence and to make your presentations easier. I used to go to a private school and my history, english and economics teachers always made everyone do public speaking. It really helps if you keep doing it because I used to be very shy and now I do it with no problem at all (unless i'm not well prepared). One thing is not to psych yourself up before you make a presentation because you will just make things worse. Just be very well prepared at what you are going to say and talk slowly when you make your presentations.
Remember this skill will possibly be very important in future jobs.
Best of luck!
Remember this skill will possibly be very important in future jobs.
Best of luck!
Reply 14
I used to be just like you. Especially during GCSE English - when as part of cwk we had to talk in front of the class. I used to get so nervous and flustered for no good reason. I think I even got a lower mark in the cwk then what i'm capable of due to this stupid anxiety.
But now I'm fine. I sort of just tell myself that there isnt anyone else in the class apart from me and the teacher and try and "pretend" I'm a really confident person and thus illicit it. I know it sounds stupid but for me, it really does work. Also, my secondary school was full of stupid people and now at college because the idiots have been filtered through everyone gets along really well.
Perhaps try getting to know the people that you have in your classes where you all have to debate, etc. Sociallise with them after uni becuase your less likely to feel self-conscious with people you know.
But now I'm fine. I sort of just tell myself that there isnt anyone else in the class apart from me and the teacher and try and "pretend" I'm a really confident person and thus illicit it. I know it sounds stupid but for me, it really does work. Also, my secondary school was full of stupid people and now at college because the idiots have been filtered through everyone gets along really well.
Perhaps try getting to know the people that you have in your classes where you all have to debate, etc. Sociallise with them after uni becuase your less likely to feel self-conscious with people you know.
Reply 15
13
I don't think anyone actually likes public speaking! I've had a lot of presentations in the past few years and still groan when I have to do one but I have got used to them and become more confident as a result. I'm still quite shy in general but I don't really have any major hangups about speaking in front of the class.
I would say the most important thing in there is being prepared, if you know you won't be caught out then its a big confidence booster. Then when you're in there just take your time and a tip thats helped me, is to direct your presentation at one person, it just feels less daunting.
I would say the most important thing in there is being prepared, if you know you won't be caught out then its a big confidence booster. Then when you're in there just take your time and a tip thats helped me, is to direct your presentation at one person, it just feels less daunting.
Reply 16
I can't picture people in their underwear as I start laughing to myself and lose my place, making me stumble over words.
What really helps me is just detaching myself from where I am. Prepare well. Look really pensive as though you're really thinking about what your words. Make eye contact now and again at the people you know are interested in what you have to say. (Place them in the room before you go up)
It helps keep focus and distracts you from the people waiting for a trip-up. I find it calms you down a lot.
What really helps me is just detaching myself from where I am. Prepare well. Look really pensive as though you're really thinking about what your words. Make eye contact now and again at the people you know are interested in what you have to say. (Place them in the room before you go up)
It helps keep focus and distracts you from the people waiting for a trip-up. I find it calms you down a lot.
Reply 17
I used to be the same.
I remember in high school when we'd have to give presentations I would absolutely hate it. I would go red faced and muck up everything I had prepared.
Nowadays it's no problem at all. We do it all the time at uni, and I actually quite like speaking in front of a few people.
I think it's just a case of learning to deal with it, then learning to enjoy it.
I remember in high school when we'd have to give presentations I would absolutely hate it. I would go red faced and muck up everything I had prepared.
Nowadays it's no problem at all. We do it all the time at uni, and I actually quite like speaking in front of a few people.
I think it's just a case of learning to deal with it, then learning to enjoy it.
Reply 18
It's weird because I remember in yrs 7, 8 and 9, we had to do a fair bit of reading outloud, and I had no problem with it. And then we did written work yrs 10 and 11 without reading outloud (because we were'nt asked to - focused on exam technique etc.).
But then, come college, my voice had changed, and I had somehow lost all my public speaking confidence, and began stuttering when reading outloud. It's so annoying that I can't get my old care-free attitude to reading outloud back.
But then, come college, my voice had changed, and I had somehow lost all my public speaking confidence, and began stuttering when reading outloud. It's so annoying that I can't get my old care-free attitude to reading outloud back.
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