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Housemates having a secret affair...
I first of all apologize if this is in the wrong area, if it is could someone please redirect it to the appropriate place.
Two of my housemates have always been really close, they are so close it makes me wonder if the definition of soul mates can actually be a reality. They share the same interests, music and humour and in an ideal world we said they would be perfect for each other. Thats if it wasnt for my other housemates shallowness ( she has extremely high standards should we say). My other housemate in my opinion really is not the typical physical specimen that she would normally swoon after. But put that aside over the past two years a hell of a lot of flirting has been very apparent. Playfighting, flirtingly taking the "mick" out of each other and becoming increasingly close when the substance of alcohol is involved. Examples being holding hands, unusual close contact, and from what we have witnessed kissing attempts.
Me and my other housemate have always noticed this behavior, and as a group of 4 has made us feel extremely awkward in their presence. Especially when there is just one of us and the two of them. We slowly withdrew from going out with them (we would normally go out as 3 people) and its like 3s a crowd which isnt the reason why i went out, or my other housemate to be a third wheel. Me and my other housemate would only go out with them if there was a group of 4 for social safety. But even then it was not like going out as a group, it was like them and us. They seem to completely neglect that there are other people around them and concentrate on talking to each other, having in jokes etc.. and subsequently we feel a little bit out of it so to speak. I would not mind if we were to be included in some of the conversations, but to completely blank us seems out of order.
The reason we feel like this is because we feel like we are loosing our friends, we spent so much time together having fun in the first year that seems like a distant memory.. if at all. Me and my housemate have spoke about this to each other numerous times and it just would be awkward if we ever thought anything was to occur between them, the male housemate seems like the shy sort and not the type to even contemplate kissing a girl! However our suspicions have been confirmed, i "heard" goings on in one of their bedrooms. They have not told us anything... which is understandable. I have not told my other housemate (who also feels the same). Do you think i should tell her what i know? Or should i keep completely quiet.. ? Thing is we are living together as a 4 next year (this year i live in a house of 7 and us 4 are moving to another house).. which if they were to "break up" it would be a little messy.
I think they would be perfect together but a little consideration for others would not go a miss! They have stated that they got close because we stopped going out, but in truth we stopped going out because of their ignorance towards us. I cant hang around with them as a two anymore, on their own they are great to talk to!! We spent hours talking just the three of us when one of them went away for the weekend.
I suppose i am just wanting someone elses slant on this, after what i have discovered its becoming increasing awkwarder.. i could never tell the couple involved! As when they are ready i suppose they should tell us, but do i tell my other housemate?
Sorry for the longish post
Two of my housemates have always been really close, they are so close it makes me wonder if the definition of soul mates can actually be a reality. They share the same interests, music and humour and in an ideal world we said they would be perfect for each other. Thats if it wasnt for my other housemates shallowness ( she has extremely high standards should we say). My other housemate in my opinion really is not the typical physical specimen that she would normally swoon after. But put that aside over the past two years a hell of a lot of flirting has been very apparent. Playfighting, flirtingly taking the "mick" out of each other and becoming increasingly close when the substance of alcohol is involved. Examples being holding hands, unusual close contact, and from what we have witnessed kissing attempts.
Me and my other housemate have always noticed this behavior, and as a group of 4 has made us feel extremely awkward in their presence. Especially when there is just one of us and the two of them. We slowly withdrew from going out with them (we would normally go out as 3 people) and its like 3s a crowd which isnt the reason why i went out, or my other housemate to be a third wheel. Me and my other housemate would only go out with them if there was a group of 4 for social safety. But even then it was not like going out as a group, it was like them and us. They seem to completely neglect that there are other people around them and concentrate on talking to each other, having in jokes etc.. and subsequently we feel a little bit out of it so to speak. I would not mind if we were to be included in some of the conversations, but to completely blank us seems out of order.
The reason we feel like this is because we feel like we are loosing our friends, we spent so much time together having fun in the first year that seems like a distant memory.. if at all. Me and my housemate have spoke about this to each other numerous times and it just would be awkward if we ever thought anything was to occur between them, the male housemate seems like the shy sort and not the type to even contemplate kissing a girl! However our suspicions have been confirmed, i "heard" goings on in one of their bedrooms. They have not told us anything... which is understandable. I have not told my other housemate (who also feels the same). Do you think i should tell her what i know? Or should i keep completely quiet.. ? Thing is we are living together as a 4 next year (this year i live in a house of 7 and us 4 are moving to another house).. which if they were to "break up" it would be a little messy.
I think they would be perfect together but a little consideration for others would not go a miss! They have stated that they got close because we stopped going out, but in truth we stopped going out because of their ignorance towards us. I cant hang around with them as a two anymore, on their own they are great to talk to!! We spent hours talking just the three of us when one of them went away for the weekend.
I suppose i am just wanting someone elses slant on this, after what i have discovered its becoming increasing awkwarder.. i could never tell the couple involved! As when they are ready i suppose they should tell us, but do i tell my other housemate?
Sorry for the longish post
Sorry if my cardboardesque walls and floors in my house means hearing everything is actually being nosy. *shrug*
Nix!
If it's not harming anyone, what's the problem? It seems like you've just got some juicy gossip and were just dying to tell someone.
Yeah i definately see your point, and it is being quite selfish i'll admit that. Just when people move on etc.. its unsettling i guess.
Anonymous
Yeah i definitely see your point, and it is being quite selfish i'll admit that. Just when people move on etc.. its unsettling i guess.
yea, I advise to just let things go as it is going. It'll probably turn out for the best
We have already signed up!!! Anyway i never said that i would confront them.. its up to them really 
i was on about telling my friend (who is her best friend from high school) or to keep quiet. Which is probably the best thing to do. It was definately them.. no one else in the house and they dont have any potential ppl to bring back.
i was on about telling my friend (who is her best friend from high school) or to keep quiet. Which is probably the best thing to do. It was definately them.. no one else in the house and they dont have any potential ppl to bring back.
No offence but it really is none of your business, it is their lives.
To be honest, when I read the title of the thread, I thought you were going to say that these housemates both had other partners that they were doing the dirty on, but it appears that this isn't the case, so it would be grossly out of proportion to call it a 'secret affair'.
It also appears that you haven't had much experience of people being in relationships at university (although correct me if I'm wrong), seeing as people who are in relationships after the age of 18 don't tend to sit down with everyone they know and 'announce' it, which is what you seem to be expecting.
I can understand that you and your housemate are hurt at being shunned by them, but it may not be intentional. Just accept that they want to spend more time together as a couple, rather than as part of a foursome, and then find other friends for you and your housemate to go out with.
I'd say your real problem will happen if they break up while you're all living together...oo boy.
It also appears that you haven't had much experience of people being in relationships at university (although correct me if I'm wrong), seeing as people who are in relationships after the age of 18 don't tend to sit down with everyone they know and 'announce' it, which is what you seem to be expecting.
I can understand that you and your housemate are hurt at being shunned by them, but it may not be intentional. Just accept that they want to spend more time together as a couple, rather than as part of a foursome, and then find other friends for you and your housemate to go out with.
I'd say your real problem will happen if they break up while you're all living together...oo boy.
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