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Fatherhood

Boys how do you feel about fatherhood? Do you want to be a dad when you are older? Or is fatherhood not for you?

Id like masculine perspectives only please. No girls saying "I want a baby". This thread is purely for the lads.

Dont be afraid to say that fatherhood holds no appeal. There's nothing wrong with that.

Share your views.

Reply 1

jack_sparrow

Yeah i wouldn't mind a coupla kids, carry on the legacy! Plus something to numb the boredom of middle age!

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Also, would it bother you if you didnt have any?

Reply 3

Talya

16

Talya's boyfriend says:

I don't mind. Kids would be good just not right now.

But similarly it would not bother him if he didn't have any.

Reply 4

Marianne

Mr Marianne says:

"Kids? No way! Stop asking me damnit!"

Reply 5

pikaboo

13

Marianne

Mr Marianne says:

"Kids? No way! Stop asking me damnit!"

Haha, that's what my boyfriend says. Then I remind him that I'm dumping him when I want kids. This makes him sad (but he still won't change his mind) :p:

I think its a bit daft to ask boys when the majority won't have committed to the idea of having kids until the late twenties/early thirties or so.

Reply 6

wiwarin_mir

I wouldn't mind having children when I was older, it would be a very interesting challenge. Although I would be petrified that I would make a complete mess of raising them. I wouldn't mind having a son that I could share my interests with watch grow up.

If I ended up not having children I wouldn't really be bothered as such, it would just be something in life that I hadn't experienced.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

pikaboo

Haha, that's what my boyfriend says. Then I remind him that I'm dumping him when I want kids. This makes him sad (but he still won't change his mind) :p:

I think its a bit daft to ask boys when the majority won't have committed to the idea of having kids until the late twenties/early thirties or so.

Interesting point.

But wouldn't it be logical to find out how your man feels about parenthood before you commit and invest years of your life into the relationship, only to find out that you want kids and he doesn't? :confused:

Reply 8

castroneves

1

I wouldnt rule it out in the future, but right now the thought of having kids is very scary. Give it atleast 10 years i think.

Reply 9

wiwarin_mir

Anonymous

Interesting point.

But wouldn't it be logical to find out how your man feels about parenthood before you commit and invest years of your life into the relationship, only to find out that you want kids and he doesn't? :confused:

At the same time, when most girls are 13 or 14, they wouldn't dream about wanting children, nor for that matter most boys. People's views of things will change as they get older. While at one time of their life they may not like the idea of having children, 10 years down the line they may have changed their mind.

It is no good deciding whether or not to commit to a relationship with someone based on whether they want children at that point in time, especially not at our age (16 - 23 is the age range most people on TSR are (I think))

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

wiwarin_mir

At the same time, when most girls are 13 or 14, they wouldn't dream about wanting children, nor for that matter most boys. People's views of things will change as they get older. While at one time of their life they may not like the idea of having children, 10 years down the line they may have changed their mind.

It is no good deciding whether or not to commit to a relationship with someone based on whether they want children at that point in time, especially not at our age (16 - 23 is the age range most people on TSR are (I think))

Thanks for your input.

However I'm 24 and my partner is quite a bit older. And I've found myself in the situation described above, where I've invested years into the relationship, we live together, and he tells me outright he's not the paternal type. Basically I'm heartbroken and now have to bide my time until exams are over, graduation, etc then end this.

Reply 11

pikaboo

13

Anonymous

Interesting point.

But wouldn't it be logical to find out how your man feels about parenthood before you commit and invest years of your life into the relationship, only to find out that you want kids and he doesn't? :confused:

Like mir says, people can easily change their mind as they get older. I've known a guy who really wanted kids at 16, changed his mind a year later, and god knows what he'll think of them in a decade. Girls can't base their relationships on what their boyfriends think they want in the future, they just have to go with what they want now and hope it won't conflict as they both change and grow up.

Reply 12

pikaboo

13

Anonymous

Thanks for your input.

However I'm 24 and my partner is quite a bit older. And I've found myself in the situation described above, where I've invested years into the relationship, we live together, and he tells me outright he's not the paternal type. Basically I'm heartbroken and now have to bide my time until exams are over, graduation, etc then end this.

At 24 you've still got a good 10 years to start a family. Basically I'd only end the relationship at that age if my desire to have children straightaway outweighed my love for the guy.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

pikaboo

At 24 you've still got a good 10 years to start a family. Basically I'd only end the relationship at that age if my desire to have children straightaway outweighed my love for the guy.

But you see, he's 38. So if he doesnt want them now. He never will.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

I have tlo be mature and do whats best for me.

Anyway guys, I'm still interested in masculine views. Just how many men exactily want children as opposed to not being that bothered either way?

Reply 15

wiwarin_mir

Anonymous

I have tlo be mature and do whats best for me.

Anyway guys, I'm still interested in masculine views. Just how many men exactily want children as opposed to not being that bothered either way?

But you are assuming that if you leave your current partner, you will be able to find another guy who would want to have a family with you, bearing in mind that you are going to be looking for that one trait as a prerequisite for a relationship.

You could quite easily find a guy you really like and have a relationship with him again, only to be put in this situation again. I can guarantee you that you would not be able to find a guy that is willing to commit to a family from the start of a relationship, that's if he's not scared off (although I would imagine you would not mention your desire to have children very early in the relationship).

Reply 16

JacquesNoir

1

Well I'm not a boy, I'm a man.

I want many children. All boys if possible or at least very few girls. If I couldn't have children I'd probably kill myself. Life isn't worth living if you don't create a life while you're here. Such is my view.

I feel sad at the moment because Prince has no children even though he wants a big family. He had a son but he was born with Pfeiffer Syndrome and died shortly after birth (his brain was turned to mush)...so sad :frown:

So yeah...I want lots of children. With the same beautiful woman of course.

Reply 17

Sarky

18

JacquesNoir

I feel sad at the moment because Prince has no children even though he wants a big family. He had a son but he was born with Pfeiffer Syndrome and died shortly after birth (his brain was turned to mush)...so sad :frown:

Random...and old news. But yes, it was sad.

My boyfriend wants kids. But not for at least 10 years. I want them sooner than that but people change. We may both change our minds.

When i was 17 i was with someone much older who wanted children and i could feel that he wouldn't be able to wait for me to finish university and establish my career. Not a reason for us splitting, but he was at the age when he wanted the family package.

I'm 22 now, and if i were to get with someone else i couldn't say "Hey you're hot, but before we go any further do you want kids?" Obviously it would come up in conversation at some point, but i wouldn't end on that basis at this age.