This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Fatherhood

Scroll to see replies

Anonymous

I got the impression that most men were "reluctant fathers" either roped into it or did it because they thought it was expected by society.

I'm fairly sure it's quite the opposite for most men. Of course, every rule has an exception...

Reply 41

Anonymous #1

LennonMcCartney

I'm fairly sure it's quite the opposite for most men. Of course, every rule has an exception...

Really?

Please. Explain why you think that. I'm interested to hear.

Reply 42

LennonMcCartney

Anonymous

Really?

Please. Explain why you think that. I'm interested to hear.

Well, in terms of justification, the only reason we really live is to ensure safe housing for our genes (or, more correctly, those organisms that didn't do that died out... as their genes didn't propagate through newer generations; hence we are left with organisms which do ensure safe housing for their genes). The only way to do that (or so it seems) is to raise children with a single partner into a stable household.

Also, a very high proportion of guys I know has expressed some notion of raising a family, or is aware that getting a degree and/or a job etc. is all with the intention of a) making their own lives easier, and b) raising a family.

So the reason I think that is because, most people I know have expressed such feelings, and there is some level of biological justification for it.

Reply 43

BlackHawk

Husband says:

No kids, not now and maybe not ever.

I agree with him.

Reply 44

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

My husband was clear from the beginning that he wanted kids someday, and I said the same thing.

He was 24 when we met, and had previously gone through a delicate situation regarding having kids -
When he was about 20 he dating this girl for a short time who dumped him after a couple of months. Well a few weeks later he found out via a friend that she was pregnant.
Turned out she had only gone out with him in order to fall pregnant!!
Anyway as chance would have it, it turned out to be a phantom pregnancy (rare but it does happen).

Anyway after that incident, before finding out that it was a phantom pregnancy, he had got his head around the fact that he was going to be a father (allbeit with a girl that used him) and he was rather happy about it. Obviously due to the circumstances it worked out for the best that she wasn't pregnant after all though.

But it did make him realise that he was indeed the fatherly type, and wanted kids someday.

So when we met he was clear on that, and that was fine by me, because I wanted kids someday aswell.

We had our daughter (first child) when he was 28. Kinda average age to become a father I guess. He's a great dad :smile:

Edited to Add: I have a male cousin (aged 24) who is always telling me how much he wants to have children someday and be a good father. (He's one of my best friends so he confides in me a lot).

I don't think that most men are "roped into it" at all. I think there are a lot that genuinely want to have children someday.

Reply 45

LennonMcCartney

If you die and leave no mark on the world, no great achievement, no great piece of art, no new science, no change in mankind, nothing, then when the people that knew you die too, there'll be no trace of you whatsoever left in the world. It'll be like you never existed.

Save children, who may (either themselves or their distant descendants) one day leave an indelible mark in the history of mankind on this small planet, almost every one of us will personally leave nothing.

That is another strong argument for children, in my opinion.

Reply 46

Ziggy Stardust

Kids, hell yeah!

But not till I am in my 30s.

:smile:

Reply 47

bunnycatkid

My boyfriend is possibly more broody than me, he's studying to be a primary teacher so it comes with the territory.. hes only 19 though and we have not been together long enough to discuss it seriously (not kids for another 8 years thankyou very much) but we have talked about it, I think around 3 months in to the relationship, not too indepth though, were both extremely young!

Reply 48

Talya

BlackHawk

Husband says:

No kids, not now and maybe not ever.

I agree with him.

Shouldn't you not be on TSR now?! Go on honeymoon or do couply things!

Reply 49

LipGloss

I'm never having children because:

1) I would be as lousy and incompetent as my own mother

2) Given my luck with men, I could never pick out one who'd make a good dad for my babies

Reply 50

silverbolt

NEVER EVER EVER

not in a million years do i want a child, i have a nephew an i love him to bits he's soooooo cute, but the best part about it is i can give him back to his mother.

Children severe no no for me (but then sos marriage) and im 25 and saying this

Reply 51

acore

When my time comes, i would like a kid or two...y'know pass down the genes, someone to devote yourself to, sculpt, add to society. To be honest, i haven't properly thought about it except the fact that i would like a child... (be it my own or adopted...)

Reply 52

pendragon

At some very distant point in the future I want at least 5 children.

Reply 53

matt@internet

I'd love to have a boatload of kids. Big family, I think it's the best way.

Reply 54

username21537

I am raised on the ideal of growing up and being happy in a happy family etc. I really want children when I am older. It would be a shattering blow if I could have none.

Reply 55

Atomic Dave

I really want kids in the future, I think really I've always wanted to be married and have kiddies....but not for another 5 years yet, and like a couple of others here I'd need a girl first, and I aint having much luck in that department at the moment

Reply 56

Krechie

Mr krechie says in the future.

Reply 57

Angelil

Mr Angelil is nearly 26 and he says: Yes, one day, just not now.

Suits me :smile:

Reply 58

RoyalsFan

I'd love to have kids with my girlfriend, but only once we are married. I wouldn't want to have a child outside of marriage for some reason...lol we're engaged now, but I think me and my fiancee are both in agreement that we won't be having kids until we're about 24/25 :P

Reply 59

dita_parlo

My boyfriend really really wants to have kids (He's 25). If I fell pregnant right now, he says he would be scared but "good scared". I know he would make a wonderful father; I want kids with him as well, but I would like to wait till next year possibly to start trying; so that we've had time together as a couple first.