The Student Room Group

Virgin at 21

Hey,

I've just come out of my first long term relationship. In the whole time we were together we never slept together...we wanted to wait until we both felt comfortable and therefore I'm still a virgin. The thing is this....I am 21 years old and will be 22 this year. I'm devastated over this break up and don't see myself entering another relationship anytime soon. In all honesty, I feel like nobody will want me anyway. The thing that is concerning me most is the fact I am still a virgin at 21. How is it going to look to a guy who I may happen to meet a year or two down the line when I will be even older?

I know there is no rush but I feel kind of embarassed about this. What would you think (guys especially if someone you met in their mid 20's was still a virgin? I'm naturally low in self esteem as it is and this just makes me feel even worse...I know relationships aren't all about sex but I'm going to be worrying the whole time that I have no experience with sleeping with guys!

:frown:

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Reply 1
take a look around this forum there are fantastic amounts of threads on this. take a look at the have you had sex yet thread there are people the same as you, youre not alone. it just takes somepeople longer than others.
My girlfriend is 21. She wasn't a virgin when I met her, but if she had been I would not have thought any less of her in any way. Don't feel pressured to do it with the wrong person, because it's horrible...
of course someone will want you! im 18 and still a virgin. guys find it cute if you are still a virgin, just dont let anyone take advantage
Reply 4
I'm 23 and still a virgin and I see no shame in it, hence not posting this as anon. It's not something you should be worrying about, and I know you are but you should look on the positive side of it. It means that you have the self respect to wait for the right person and I am sure you will enjoy your first time much more than people who lose it at 18 or 15 or whatever to just anyone.

If your future partner can't respect you for waiting then that's a good sign they're not relationship material and definitely not worth being your first time. You will find someone, just don't rush or feel pressured to lose your virginity. Age means very little when you're in your 20s.
Reply 5
Yeh dont let anyone take advantage!

I'm not a virgin btw (21) but then again I wish I were (long story) but then again I've got lotsa friends who are still virgins themselves. However, they chose not to be in a hurry to have sex and one of them is 29. They're comfortable with that. You dont have to have sex at the age of 13 (which seems to be ok nowadays)
There are many people who are 21 and still a virgin, it is perfectly normal.
I'm 20 and a big virgin!!!!

I don't think it's all that unusual. A lot of people lie about having lost their virginity.

Loads of people don't feel ready, or haven't had a lot of relationship experience to be at that stage or are just waiting for the right time/person/place.

Who the hell cares how old you are?!?! That's not what it's about! Obviously if you meet and fall in love with someone at 13 your more likely to have had sex earlier that someone who hasn't found someone at age 20 something!!!!!

There are probably loads of virgins out there over 20! But people are scared to admit it because it seems embarrassing!

Personally, I think it's more embarrassing to just have sex for the sake of losing your virginity and not waiting for the right time!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous
I'm 20 and a big virgin!!!!

I don't think it's all that unusual. A lot of people lie about having lost their virginity.

Loads of people don't feel ready, or haven't had a lot of relationship experience to be at that stage or are just waiting for the right time/person/place.

Who the hell cares how old you are?!?! That's not what it's about! Obviously if you meet and fall in love with someone at 13 your more likely to have had sex earlier that someone who hasn't found someone at age 20 something!!!!!

There are probably loads of virgins out there over 20! But people are scared to admit it because it seems embarrassing!

Personally, I think it's more embarrassing to just have sex for the sake of losing your virginity and not waiting for the right time!!!!!!!!!!!


and you're anonymous because...
IMO better to be a virgin at 21 or even 30 than not be a virgin at 12 or 13. There was a 11 year old girl who was pregnant and she got drunk (thats how she became pregnant with a 15 year boy who was charged with rape). She smoked up to when she as 8 months due. I knew a girl, I say I knew, she was on my school bus but went to another school and was in the same year as me but a year younger. She is approx 18 now and about two years ago her grandmother was 44, so when she was born, one of her grans was under 30. BTW at nearly 20 and a male, like many on this board, on TSR and in general, im a virgin and not that bothered. Not all but a fair few regret given up thier virginity even at 18 or indeed 20 +. Hope this makes sense.
how can you be a in along term relationship and not be comfortable with the other person?

how long are you talking?

and no its not wierd and yes you will find someone
Reply 11
Cadre_Of_Storms
how can you be a in along term relationship and not be comfortable with the other person?

how long are you talking?

and no its not wierd and yes you will find someone


We were together for about 20 months. We were comfortable together but for some reason we never slept together...think we both just were bit shy about it...I don't really know. We did talk about it though and agreed that we were in no hurry. In the end it was trust problems on my side that split us up, so I don't think it would have been on the cards for a while anyway.
if i met a girl who was 21 and still a virgin and say i took her virginity i would feel privileged that it was me.

me and my girlfriend lost our virginity to one another, and i feel privileged that i was the one who she trusted and loved enough to lose it to.
Soul Rebel
if i met a girl who was 21 and still a virgin and say i took her virginity i would feel privileged that it was me.

me and my girlfriend lost our virginity to one another, and i feel privileged that i was the one who she trusted and loved enough to lose it to.


Thats how every respecting man would feel. Anywa, its not like you walk around with a tag on saing "Virgin" so its not like you can be judged by that until you trust someone enough to tell them. And then if hes that good a man, he will respect that and be very privaliged that you should give him your virginity.
exactly.
Guys enjoy stealing girls virginity...makes em feel all manly, don't worry about it.
I'm 21. I'm a virgin. I don't care, and I don't expect anyone else to. I'm also in a long-term relationship (well, 7 or 8 months) and I haven't slept with my boyfriend yet - I'm waiting 'til I'm ready.

Virginity is fine at any age. You said yourself you weren't sure you felt ready.

Now please everyone stop posting these threads!
blackswan
Guys enjoy stealing girls virginity...makes em feel all manly, don't worry about it.


haha i would also agree here.
Reply 18
blackswan
Guys enjoy stealing girls virginity...makes em feel all manly, don't worry about it.


Stealing? Wouldn't that be classified as rape?
Nix!
Stealing? Wouldn't that be classified as rape?

I guess, what would you call it then?