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where do I stand... and how can i talk to her?

Hi,

This is my first post on here.... just need to get this off my chest, and get a little advice!

I'm a bi girl, and currently I am 'crushing' (I don't like this word but how else can you describe it?) on a female friend... who knows of my feelings.... I also have reason to believe she is bi aswell.

Long story short, she has the same name as a male friend who is gay... and I was chatting about him with another mutual friend ... who was confused which one I was talking about.... and said 'gay bob or bit of both bob?' so yes....

anyway.... the problemo is.... she is giving me the worst mixed signals ever... and its really hurting me!

We've been really close since we first met in january of this year.... and have always been overly cuddly.... in what can only be described as a 'more-than-friend? way' and kiss a lot.... but just cheeks.... not like full on snogging!

We're extremely flirty with each other.... and have spent many tipsy nights with one us crying for no reason and the other being there just for hugs!

Last night however... we were out in a club... and were sat together just slightly cuddly to start with... and then somehow we ended up holding hands.... and almost hiding it for like half and hour.... and I was stroking her hand.... and she didn't seem bothered or try to move away or anything. So I was like.... hmmm maybe she's trying to tell me something? As she seems to find it quite hard to open up to me... sort of non verbal communication and all that.

But then she went and stayed the night at this blokes house.... she didn't do anything with him.... except sleep in his bed with him.... so.... why was she all over me one minute... and then that the next?

I'm confused... and don't know how to talk to her about it!

Reply 1

featheredblack

dont sit in the corner! go out and ask her where you stand. because you are only making yourself upset

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

This is exactly what I want to do, I just don't know how to ask her! Its really hard because she clearly finds it hard to truly open up and tell people her real feelings.... I don't think she's particularly open with any one in our circle of friends no matter how close we all are... yes she COULD tell us anything... but she doesn't! In that respect she is a very shy, some what closed person, but obviously she is an extremely open person physically... probably more so than me..... as a lot of the physical contact.... hugging, kissing etc is intiated by her.
I need away of helping her to become more open about her feelings, but without just simply saying 'how do you feel about us?' because I know that would just make her feel threatened and she just wouldn't respond.

Any ideas?

Reply 3

Riddy

How do you know she didn't do anything with him? It seems like either she just appreciates you for comfort or she is shy.

Reply 4

drunkwithlust

Why don't you just touch her leg and see what she does?! kidding.

Well I think the best way to do it is to just ask her but if you want to start off by playing these silly games (I know it's just because you're worried and whatever) then that's fine. I know where you're coming from, i've been in this position before, you analyse everything they do. The thing is, you're never going to know unless you just ask her (even if you make out, she could put it down to being upset/drunk/odd mood).

Either you hurt yourself more and not say anything, hoping she'll say something or you finally see how she feels.

You never know, she could be posting on another site saying the same about you!

Does she know you're bi? x

p.s. sorry about rambling.