Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
So ive been dating this girl, and shes completely in love with me, however i dont really feel the same way about her. I want to, i really do. Shes an amazing girl and I'm extremely lucky to be with her, however its a constant source of Anxiety for me knowing that if i dont develop feelings for her by the time i finish this college year ill finally have to think about my own wellbeing and break up with her, and its going to kill me just as much as it kills her
i think my problems with anxiety and depression are getting in the way of me loving her unconditonally, and i really want to
does anyone have any advice? i dont want to be that monster that ruins her self esteem and confidence for the rest of her life D: but similarly i dont want to constantly be anxious about it
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Anonymous #2
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You need to put yourself first. It's also pretty unfair to be in a relationship with someone you don't love, although you could just be overthinking it.

A relationship is pretty much an extension of a strong friendship, you don't have to feel butterflies when you're with her, you have to be committed to her and make each other (mostly) happy.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You need to put yourself first. It's also pretty unfair to be in a relationship with someone you don't love, although you could just be overthinking it.

A relationship is pretty much an extension of a strong friendship, you don't have to feel butterflies when you're with her, you have to be committed to her and make each other (mostly) happy.
I could get the nobel prize for overthinking ahhaha
I want to, more than anything, but i was in love with my ex and that was a powerful sort of love that i dont feel for this girl but i want this girl in my life, and shes always there for me and is literally the perfect girl, if i say just stayed with her until around september this year to work out if i deeply love her and if not end it and explain to her that i want her to stay in my life because i think shes an amazing girl would that like not be completly evil?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You need to put yourself first. It's also pretty unfair to be in a relationship with someone you don't love, although you could just be overthinking it.

A relationship is pretty much an extension of a strong friendship, you don't have to feel butterflies when you're with her, you have to be committed to her and make each other (mostly) happy.
Plus ive been having a lot of anxiety attacks recently, and i cant tell if im just relating those feelings to her, im still unsure off whether the bad thoughts trigger the anxiety or if the anxiety triggers the bad thoughts, im hoping that going back to college will settle these feelings and ill love her
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phunky_fresh
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Stop wasting her time.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by phunky_fresh)
Stop wasting her time.
I might not be though, i dont want to lose her then realise i do love her
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Anonymous #1
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Bump
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Tiger Rag
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Break it off with her. It's unfair on her to string her along. You can't force yourself to develop feelings for someone.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Why on earth would that be "a constant source of anxiety"? Man up. Love happens or it doesn't

It's not normal, and many would say also unhealthy, to expect unconditional love to stem from a romantic relationship. She's a date, not your mother! :erm:

Take a chill pill and see how things go (whilst being reasonably forthright with your girl). Try to live in the moment a little more, whilst also being aware of whether you feel there's any potential for feelings to develop - should you ascertain that there is not then you must of course do the decent thing
Because shes an amazing girl, and im actually sensative as **** and dont want to hurt her
and thats what im gonna do i think
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Foo.mp3)
So what? How amazing someone is should have no bearing on our morality

So man up already

All's fair in love and war, my son - plus you're being transparent, so I'd say you're good

Then perhaps you should end things gently while the going's good eh
come on dude saying a man up to a guy with open emotions fam this is why male suicides are so much more prevalent in society cant be openly emotional without "man up" yeah no thx im alright
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Anonymous #3
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[QUOTE=Anonymous;61698525]So ive been dating this girl, and shes completely in love with me, however i dont really feel the same way about her. I want to, i really do. Shes an amazing girl/QUOTE]

Why did you date her in the first place? That's kinda messed up and unfair for her
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