Just need honest advice!

Nix don't you ever organise to meet up with friends? I don't think there is anything wrong with his organising to meet her as friends.... strikes me as a bit odd that you seem to think that just because they are 'just friends' they aren't allowed to talk or meet up!

I've known a girl as friends for about 3 years, and we dated for about a year, before she finished with me about 2 months ago. Everything was great, except we were both under a lot of strain with exams at the time we broke up, and the stress affected our relationship. She said she still wanted to be friends and nothing more, and that it could really work out. I wasn't so sure.

Since then, she asked me to meet up as friends with her, so I went over to watch a DVD. One thing led to another, and we ended up sleeping together. She suggested getting back together to which I agreed. Then she rang me later in the evening, saying that she hated me because she told me before she didn't want to get back with her, and I abused the situation. I apologised, and left it at that.

The next week, she apologises, and says she'd like to try friends by going out for lunch. We go, and it's great, we talk like we used to. She says that 'it's so great that you want to be just friends', I reply 'well, that's not really true, and you know it', but we'll leave it at that. We muck around, and she ends up kissing me. I say I'm confused, so does she, and we both kinda suggest that we are just friends, and if stuff like this happens, then it happens, but that we shouldn't be angry at each other for it, she admits she's still attracted to me, but couldn't see herself getting back with me due to the hurt of the break up.

So after that, we still talk on the phone quite a bit, but as of yet, haven't seen each other yet. Was meant to see her at the weekend, but she cancelled saying she had to much exam revision (which is true as I know she has). I suggested taking her for a drink near to hers for an hour or so this week. She rang me and said that she couldn't, as really had to get revising and had already had one day off this weekend, she said she'd see me on Friday. I said that's fine, even though I was a bit disappointed.

This whole thing is driving me mad though! In some ways, I'm wondering whether it's best if I don't have anything more to do with her! I think she's seeing someone else at the moment, which is fair enough, but she's not saying anything! In these situations, is it best to cut off all contact, or be friends whenever she wants to? I just want a solution to all this confusion. I don't think she knows what she wants, and I'm stuck!

Any suggestions?

Being friends after a good relationship takes discipline. If you don't both know what you want, and don't resist temptation, it can ruin your friendship.

Back off, give her space and let her get on with her life. But don't let it seem like you have just disappeared. She may take it as you saying you don't care, which could 'force her hand' one way or the other. Just call her, tell her that you want her to be happy, and that you are giving her some space so that she can find out what she wants from you.

Being friends after a good relationship takes discipline. If you don't both know what you want, and don't resist temptation, it can ruin your friendship.

Back off, give her space and let her get on with her life. But don't let it seem like you have just disappeared. She may take it as you saying you don't care, which could 'force her hand' one way or the other. Just call her, tell her that you want her to be happy, and that you are giving her some space so that she can find out what she wants from you.