Is spooning cheating?

Me and my bf are long distance at the moment. I really miss him and he means so much to me. I have a really close guy friend at my uni that i 100% only see as a friend and platonically but a couple of times I have ended up after a night out sleeping at his and occaisionally spooning. but there is nothing romantic about it from either of our perspectives! i also spoon with my girl friends and personally i dont see it as different. however I have been thinking recently if my boyfriend did that with a girl friend i would be really upset... because i wouldnt know if it was because of feelings or not no matter how much he said it was just friends. and this has made me feel guilty because even though i know with my friend 100% it is only friendly spooning because everyone loves a spoon if my boyfriend found there might be doubt in his mind about that and he might be hurt.

obviously now i'm not going to do it again to be respectful to my bfs feelings but do you think i should feel guilty?

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Reply 1

Siberiaan

****ed my best friend , but dw it was platonic XD

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

there is no way i would ever cheat on my boyfriend the thought makes me feel sick and now i've properly thought about this i feel really upset.

Reply 3

Zechs

If you are not romantically involved no reason to be spooning with them simple. Yes you should feel guilty , take some responsibility for your behaviour. Next you are gonna make a thread about a friendly blowjob.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 4

scirae

Original post by Anonymous

You should feel guilty, spooning with someone who you are not in a relationship with is questionable. Believe me your boyfriend would not be happy with you being some other guys little spoon.

Reply 5

Reza Shah

questionable... but not necessarily cheating

depends on personal boundaries vis-a-vis you and your bf :h:

Reply 6

z33

You are upset and feeling guilty so you know it's wrong and when you question whether it was cheating chances are it was and yes that was irresponsible of you

who the hell spoons another guy when they're in a relationship wtf :lolwut:

Reply 7

z33

also what if it was switched
would you be happy with your boyfriend spooning another girl?

think about that for a bit and answer HONESTLY

Reply 8

username1726117

Well, I'm not your boyfriend, but I slept in a girl's bed twice after night's out and there was nothing going on between us/nothing happened (though I later found out she had a crush on me, but that's another story). It's entirely possible for a bloke to cuddle, spoon etc with a girl and not having feelings or motives. That said, I've always been more mature for my age, so I couldn't really relate to the mindset of most young lads. If it makes you uncomfortable, then that's fair enough. I would say it wasn't cheating, but it might be pushing limits. If you're unhappy with it, make it known so he is aware. I would advise you to stop doing it with your male friends though, and it might be wise to tell your boyfriend in case he finds out some other way.

It's your relationship; you both set boundaries and you're both meant to respect them. What some people would define as cheating, others wouldn't do.

Reply 9

SleepPerchance

Original post by Anonymous

There's no excuse for putting yourself in a potentially compromising situation. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard of such interactions with a guy 'friend' ending up in cheating. Unless he is gay, all it takes is for someone to drunkenly make a move, not thinking of the consequences. Take some responsibility and open your eyes to the potentially devastating results for your bf. Jeeze.

Reply 10

Xmas lover

Original post by Anonymous

If there were any romantic feelings involved I'd say that counted as cheating. Personally I hate spooning but I can understand for some it is comfortable so I ddon't blame you at all. Don't feel guilty, but if you wouldn't like it, don't do it again. Worse things have happened and relationships heal. Don't worry.

Reply 11

username1726117

Original post by Alextay28

Unless he is gay, all it takes is for someone to drunkenly make a move, not thinking of the consequences.

I slept in a girl's bed whilst we were both half-naked, and I was pissed. Alcohol is never an excuse for a lack of restraint.

Reply 12

SleepPerchance

I entirely agree that alcohol is no excuse. It does, however, decrease inhibitions. Thus, if a desire for this person already exists, or doubts over the continuation of OP's relationship exist, then cheating might occur.

Reply 13

john2054

you already have cheated on him. stop using tsr to try and conjure sympathy. You're not going to get it.. Not from me anyway!

Spoiler

Reply 14

SleepPerchance

Original post by john2054

you already have cheated on him. stop using tsr to try and conjure sympathy. You're not going to get it.. Not from me anyway!

Spoiler

Agreed. I'm really sick of people using immaturity, age and uni as an excuse for treating those they supposedly love badly. My ex behaved in a similar way, albeit somewhat worse, and it was devastating at the time, I can tell you, OP.

Reply 15

0range

Original post by TSR Mustafa

****ed my best friend , but dw it was platonic XD

Right, tell me more about how spooning is the same as banging someone.

You're 100% right, I've done the same as well.

To me it just sounds like all the people who are complaining just don't trust themselves all that much.

Reply 16

Metrododo

Original post by TSR Mustafa

****ed my best friend , but dw it was platonic XD

Hey, if there's no feeling there's no cheating right?

Right?

:awesome:

Reply 17

john2054

please stop using made up words?

Reply 18

سِيسِي

It's not cheating, there's nothing to feel guilty about, because you're not his wife. You can do as you like without needing to worry about made up rules concerning so-called cheating. You can do whatever you like with whomever you desire.