Feedback for my head girl letter please?? Its urgent!

Heyy!
Its due tomorrow and i need some feedback on it.
Plz tell me what i can change and add.I know some of the Thanks!

Dear _________,The role of the head girl is without doubt, one of greatimportance in promoting the _______ way, implementing the ethos of theschool and positively advocating the motto at all times-inside and outside ofschool. It is about gaining the trust of the students and staff in representingthe school with integrity and enthusiasm. I believe that in order to be asuccessful head girl, you must truly care about the reputation and success ofthe school as well as the people inside it and I genuinely think I portraythis. I cannot think of a more enriching and worthwhile challenge to concludemy final year at _____. With this in mind, I am writing this letter toexpress my interest in the position of head girl.If I were to become head girl, I would be expected to be notonly a visual but also an academic role model, persistently representing whatthe school stands for and to be an inspirational leader who the younger studentscan look up to. I understand the demanding nature of this position; I amconfident that I would be able to balance my duties and school work as Iconsider myself to be academic (I was awarded with a distinction at _____).I have an incredibly strong work ethic-I am driven by sheer determinationhence enabling me to complete tasks at hand to the best of my ability evenunder pressure. In the _____ programme(which I attended every Saturday for a fewmonths) ,I empowered myself and delivered a daunting yet rewarding speech infront of a couple hundred people. , flexible and adapatable.This shows that I amresilient. When I have to face new challenges, I say to myself ‘I can’t doit…yet’. I believe that is the attitude a head girl should possess. Being a former cricket captain, has helped mygain invaluable leadership, team work and problem solving skills. It has taughtme that being a leader doesn’t mean you have to be the loudest one in the room;it’s about self-awareness. I know my strengths and weaknesses; I understandthat delegation and placing trust in the prefects is a vital trait a leadershould possess. I consider myself to be well respected amongst my peers. Beingpart of the ____ club, ______, and various other charity eventsdemonstrates my administrative and time management skills which are crucial attributesfor a head girl. The experiences and skills that I have gained will help memanage large groups of people whilst showing fairness, maturity, support andoptimism thus helping me to fulfil my duties as head girl.Reflecting on my past few years at _______school, Ican genuinely say that the enriching learning environment has helped me thriveas an inquisitive student whilst providing the resources for me to develop as aperson. The teachers have always been immensely supportive .They have alwayslent me hand whenever I needed it and they have always gone the extra mile .Iam extremely thankful this; the head girl position would allow me to go theextra mile for others. Being head girl is not about being better than everyoneelse or having something to put on your CV, in fact, it is about providing aprime connection between teachers and students. We are fortunate enough to bestudying in a school that has a warm approach to people of all backgrounds, andI hope to do my best to represent the family feeling that our school portrays.I am an opportunist; since applying for prefect, I havebecome part of the_____, ____ club, I am doing the dofe award and I havemy 6th work published. I believe that we, as a school, should further encourageour pupils to grasp every opportunity that comes their way. As head girl, Iwould emphasize this concept by introducing new, exciting programmes (franklinscholars), that would widen their horizons and help them later on in life. Ibelieve that enjoyment results in achievement; it is the key to success. Duringmy time here at Sarah Bonnell, I have found that when you’re happy with yourlearning environment, you would naturally put more effort in school work andother extra-curricular activities thus creating a successful student. I wouldtry my best to ensure that students continue to flourish in our school. I believe I have persistently set an example: I have anabundance of enthusiasm, strong desire to prosper and I am sizzling withpassion. I consider myself to possess the required skills for this position; Irealize it will be difficult to take the Head Girl position from such acompetent, proficient current Head Girl, but I will do my best and strive tocontinue her excellent work. "Let us make our future now, and let us make our dreamstomorrow's reality." Malala YousafzaiI want to leave behind a legacy. I want to contribute to thefuture of ______ therefore please accept this letter as an expression ofmy wishes to become Head Girl. I hope to hear from you again, thank you.Yours sincerely,