councelling might be too scared to go

I left my details to see a councellor and someone has just rang up at 9 saying that I could have an appointment tomorrow. Ive had anxiety for 3 years and not been able to hold a job or anything down but the thing is im really scared of going, im worried about setting out and then turning back to come home thats how soft I am. I guess im scared of going lightheaded or fainting as whever I go into detail about the anxiety with relatives this is usually what happens its scary, but speaking to a stranger will be 10 times worse. Ive never been to a councellor I have just kept cancelling appointments. Has anyone here been to one and how long does the first session last? I can't exactly get up and walk out if I feel ill or get scared. Im just a mess and am really scared of talking about the anxiety but why am I scared when I am supposed to be getting help? :confused:

Reply 1

homoterror

Anonymous

I can't exactly get up and walk out if I feel ill or get scared.

Yes you can :smile:

Reply 2

tbm

13

Dont be nervous, you'll be fine once you get there. And if you do feel ill, Im sure you can get up and have a break, so dont worry about that. Your counsellor will understand, its what they are there for!

Your first session will probably last half an hour to an hour, it'll probably be to assess your needs in the first instance, after that the sessions will most likely last a bit longer.

Try not to be too nervous, Im sure you'll be fine once you get there, and you'll feel so much better having been for the first time! :smile:

Reply 3

puppy

Yeah you can get up and walk out. If you're going to a counsellor for anxiety then you've got an easy escape route, you just say you need to leave, they can't make you stay.

Did they not say how long the session is? Usually they're 45 mins to an hour depending on what you're doing. Might be slightly over an hour if it's an initial assessment.

Reply 4

*Joanna*

12

My appointments lasted an hour each. I found it easier to talk things over with a stranger, because I knew they would be totally unbiased, and things I might not want my parents to know, or silly niggly things that bothered me could be said, knowing it wouldn't get back to them. I was lucky to get a very nice counsellor, who gave me advice and practical solutions to my problem (depression and work/exam stress). I was a bit apprehensive before I went, I didn't know what to expect, but it was a case of 'I need to get better, it's worth a shot'. Is there anyone who can travel there with you to support you, then maybe go into town whilst you have your appointment? You mum or a friend maybe?

Please don't be embarrassed or leave things out because you don't want them to think you're wierd or it's trivial. If they don't know the full story, they can't possibly help you properly, which is what you deserve and need. I'm pretty sure nothing much fazes them anymore. Good luck xx

Reply 5

puppy

thisbemadness

Dont be nervous, you'll be fine once you get there. And if you do feel ill, Im sure you can get up and have a break, so dont worry about that. Your counsellor will understand, its what they are there for!

Your first session will probably last half an hour to an hour, it'll probably be to assess your needs in the first instance, after that the sessions will most likely last a bit longer.

Try not to be too nervous, Im sure you'll be fine once you get there, and you'll feel so much better having been for the first time! :smile:

The OP has anxiety, unfortunately that's not how things work for anxiety sufferers.

Reply 6

tbm

13

puppy

The OP has anxiety, unfortunately that's not how things work for anxiety sufferers.

Unfortunately I do know this, as Ive experienced it myself, quite bady actually

What I meant was, that she'll feel a bit more relaxed once she meets her counsellor.

Reply 7

puppy

thisbemadness

Unfortunately I do know this, as Ive experienced it myself, quite bady actually

What I meant was, that she'll feel a bit more relaxed once she meets her counsellor.

Then why tell someone with anxiety 'don't be too nervous'? I know you're trying to be supportive, but it's hardly helpful. When people say that kind of thing to me I just want to smack them, it's so patronising. If it was as simple as that the OP wouldn't be seeing a counsellor.

OP, whatever coping techniques you usually use to get through things, just concentrate on using them to get through your appointments. Just tell yourself 'it's only X amount of time and then I can leave' and hopefully you'll be able to stick it out just long enough. You might find counselling really helpful so it's certainly worth suffering through if it makes your life better.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for all the replies there really helpful, Ive heard anxiety is common so im not scared of feeling weird or not knowing what to say (though I am a bit) im a lot more scared of panicking or something. I will feel weird though asking if I can leave all of a sudden does this happen a lot?

Reply 9

puppy

Anonymous

Thanks for all the replies there really helpful, Ive heard anxiety is common so im not scared of feeling weird or not knowing what to say (though I am a bit) im a lot more scared of panicking or something. I will feel weird though asking if I can leave all of a sudden does this happen a lot?

Don't leave then. You must know what you can deal with and how to get through it? If it makes it easier telling yourself you can leave, then do it, but I imagine you probably won't. I often find the idea of leaving becomes more terrifying than staying. But when it comes down to it, what does it matter if you leave? Stay as long as you can but someone who's used to seeing people with anxiety is not going to judge you for panicking and having to leave. Perhaps you should bring this up at the start of your session if it'll make you feel more comfortable.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

puppy

Then why tell someone with anxiety 'don't be too nervous'? I know you're trying to be supportive, but it's hardly helpful. When people say that kind of thing to me I just want to smack them, it's so patronising. If it was as simple as that the OP wouldn't be seeing a counsellor.

OP, whatever coping techniques you usually use to get through things, just concentrate on using them to get through your appointments. Just tell yourself 'it's only X amount of time and then I can leave' and hopefully you'll be able to stick it out just long enough. You might find counselling really helpful so it's certainly worth suffering through if it makes your life better.

Your right its probably the most important thing I should go to right now, the way I usually cope in a college lecture is by telling myself I can always just walk out and go home (even though people will think im mad) or I only have 15 mins or so left. I thought this would be harder to do with councelling but at least now I know from your replies it would be ok.

As for thisbemadness its ok she has helped I think she just meant 'don't be nervous' as in look on the positive side of things which I find hard to do lol but its all good. You have all been helpful thanks.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

puppy

Don't leave then. You must know what you can deal with and how to get through it? If it makes it easier telling yourself you can leave, then do it, but I imagine you probably won't. I often find the idea of leaving becomes more terrifying than staying. QUOTE]

I don't know what I can deal with sometimes when I have to go somewhere I think I will panic and I don't im really calm and vica versa its like a gamble.
Hm I always find the thought of leaving calms me down a bit, its interesting your the opposite it just shows how people cope different :p:

Reply 12

puppy

[QUOTE="Anonymous"]

puppy

Don't leave then. You must know what you can deal with and how to get through it? If it makes it easier telling yourself you can leave, then do it, but I imagine you probably won't. I often find the idea of leaving becomes more terrifying than staying. QUOTE]

I don't know what I can deal with sometimes when I have to go somewhere I think I will panic and I don't im really calm and vica versa its like a gamble.
Hm I always find the thought of leaving calms me down a bit, its interesting your the opposite it just shows how people cope different :p:

No no, the thought of leaving does calm me down, BUT if I'm really really panicking and it becomes a likely course of action then the panic gets worse when I'm actually thinking 'oh god, how do I get out of here, what will people think' etc. Because then there's the panic of actually leaving a room in front of a bunch of people.

Reply 13

mungukwachupi

I too suffer from anxiety. About 6months ago I was gonna go to councelling and chickened out at the last minute, a coupla months later I felt quite a bit better in myself but now I feel a lot worse than I did originally. I'm trying again on Thursday. We both know that this kinda thing is ****-scary and really quite hard to cope with, but I believe that it's one of those things where you've gotta force yourself into it. Short term hardship ---> long term gain

Reply 14

P for Photographer

1

I am seeing a counselor, I dunno if she is actually helping, but we have only just started, so I shall wait and see. I was surprized that I actually have been telling her a lot of things that I would not tell anyone else, like friends. Maybe she is someone who doesnt know me, so she won't judge me or anything.

But it was knid of weird today when I went to the session, coz we both ran out of things to say for a few times... I think I got her totally confused, coz I was confused too... and she didn't quite know how to react... or maybe she was expecting me to talk much more than what I did.... but anyway, I dunno if it would help me with my depression, but it's a good experience having been able to talk to someone about things...

Reply 15

tbm

13

puppy

Then why tell someone with anxiety 'don't be too nervous'? I know you're trying to be supportive, but it's hardly helpful. When people say that kind of thing to me I just want to smack them, it's so patronising. If it was as simple as that the OP wouldn't be seeing a counsellor.

Well theres no need to be rude.

As stated in my previous post, I have suffered from anxiety myself, and at one point didnt leave the house for over 3 months, thats how bad I was. So I know exaclty what shes going through. And I also know how nervous it can be going to see a counsellor, because again, yes Ive been myself.

Of course its scary at first, it will be. All Im trying to say is that once she gets there and actually meets her counsellor, its possible that she might start to feel more relaxed, which of course, in time will only increase her confidence. I felt so much better from going to see my counsellor that Im like a different person now. And yes it will be hard work and it wont happen overnight.

Reply 16

coloursonthetv

1

Anonymous

im worried about setting out and then turning back to come home thats how soft I am.

Maybe get a taxi there or ask someone to go with you on the way there to make sure you get there okay?

Anonymous

Ive had anxiety for 3 years and not been able to hold a job or anything down

This coucelling should be a really good thing for you though and it will help get yourself back on track rather than missing out on some of the things you are so the best thing to do is just to do as I said above with regards to making sure you get there and then just really give it a go.

Councelling sessions are usually about an hour I think.

Anonymous

I can't exactly get up and walk out if I feel ill or get scared.

Keep in mind that this person you're going to be talking to is a professional and they'll be able to understand on a great degree how you're feeling.

Reply 17

heaferlumpjoy

i go to counciling every week after my rents thinking i had a major drug problem and personality disorders! the truth is that i smoked dope a couple of times and i just stopped tlking to them, whcih all teenagers do, but being first born they dont understand not to worry!
Anyway i went to one, knowing that id always thought that counciling was for weak people who couldnt solve their own problems, so had to employ some1 else to do it for them. It turned out that it was the best idea that my rents have ever come up with! I love tlking with my counciler, i can tell him everything that id never tell anyone else without him judging me like i know that all my friends and family would. However i didnt tell anyone that i was going to one to prevent everyone getting too involved in what im doing, all who know are my rents obs and my bf!
Counciling allows me to get everything off my chest, like a healthy bitch about things and i feel so refreshed when i come out of sessions. I recomend counciling to anyone who just feel that things have go too much and need a little suppport! Go for it!

Reply 18

lawzer

GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! been there, worst thing you leave !!

councelling might be too scared to go

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