What to do/say? - Advice Please

So here it is:

I have been spending a lot of time with a male friend of mine, I see him almost everyday sometimes for a couple of hours at at time and if we are not together we text alot i.e.129 messages in 14 days :redface:

. When we are together it is great fun, we talk lots, and act like big kids. Anyone who has seen us together assumes we are together when we are not.

The thing is I don't really know where I stand with him he has a girlfriend. I get completely ignored by him when she is around which is annoying though I have to say he really doesn't see much of her considering they are together.
Things are 'on the rocks' with her and he is constantly turning to me for advice which I don't really mind as I am his friend but I have recently developed feelings for him (well more of a crush) and it is getting harder and harder to listen to him go on about her and to try and keep him positive about it when really I just want to tell him he is better off without her (even his parents have told him that). She treats him like dirt, walks all over him and he takes it because he 'loves her' :rolleyes:

.

I have talked the situation with my friends and have got some of the following responses:

'isn't it about time you two just admit it' - I don't know if he feels the same way.

'your the other woman' - :eek:

this really upset me, am I?

'he is using you...he has you for the interlect and her for the physical side of things' - have heard the using me thing off a few people :redface:

'he is a tool, only after one thing' - surely not I have known him for over a year now surely any man would have given up by now? :confused:

I'd like to see what you all think of this, has anyone been in a similar situation, if anyone has any advice on how to resolve this or what I should do it would be much appreciated. :smile:

Oh and if the things go badly with her, and he asks me out what should I do? he has been bring up my having a 'hypothetical' boyfriend who say is going away for a month and would I go too - he is meant to be going away and taking her in the summer, I get the impression that he is lining me up for the trip if things go pear shaped with he.

Sorry I have rambled on a bit :s-smilie:

Reply 1

ßlαcksωαn

17

129 texts aye? What were they about? Were they asking for advice about his current situation with his gf or was he like saying he wants to be with you?
It's hard to tell whether he is confining in you as a friend or he has something for you...I don't know.

Reply 2

TomX

14

All you've said is that you talk lots and act like big kids... he could easily just want to be friends.

Reply 3

Soul Rebel

12

TomX

All you've said is that you talk lots and act like big kids... he could easily just want to be friends.

i agree.

Reply 4

girl89

1

He could be thinking of you as his 'rock'. Someone to go to and ask for advice, and has become so 'attached' to you because of the security he feels in confiding with you.

Or he could just be getting closer and closer to you incase he does finish with his girlfriend.

Reply 5

FadedJade

15

Same thing happened to me. They split up and we've been together nearly two years. Not saying this will happen here, but you really need to just talk to him and ask him.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for your replies.

blackswan

129 texts aye? What were they about? Were they asking for advice about his current situation with his gf or was he like saying he wants to be with you?
It's hard to tell whether he is confining in you as a friend or he has something for you...I don't know.

About half of them where about how upset he was about what she had said/done, and me trying to cheer him up. The others where just chatty texts.

Very true he could just want to be friends but a month or so ago he did sort of tell me that he loved me :s-smilie:

, I ran for the hills. sort of as in he whispered it my ear as we hugged.

The 'rock' thing is an interesting I hadn't thought about it that way, he has said in the past that I am one of the few people he feels he can talk about anything to, and has done I know he has told me things that he can't tell his girlfriend.

How can I talk to him about this? it could quite easily make or break our friendship, or even his relationship.

The thing is I don't actually know if I want to be with him :confused:

we are great as friends but once you get into that whole boyfriend girlfriend situation things change.

What to do/say? - Advice Please

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