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no self esteem in appearance but no obvious reason why

what i mean is, i'm not exactly mrs. ugly yet i have the confidence of a table cloth. i was recently told that i was seen as the 'best looking girl' in our school but the thing is i have NO self confidence in my appearance. i'm ok with my personality and me as a person but it's just my looks. i always doubt myself in that department but i don't know why?

to be perfectly honest my head tells me that i shouldn't be so self conscious about my looks because i have no reason to but i just don't seem to listen to myself.

is anybody else like this? i suppose what i'm trying to say really is wtf is wrong with me? i sometimes look at girls less attractive than me (to be blunt) and wish i looked like them and that i'd be much happier. why?! is this some kind of syndrome lol because it's driving me nuts how i try and try to build up my self confidence but the slightest snide remark from my so called "best friend" will put me right back down to square one and leave me there for a LONG long time

and i find that when i see her less i'm a much happier and more confident person overall. perhaps it's her and her constant put downs? i don't know why i'm so bothered because she's not very attractive herself and is mentally unstable anyway. see what i mean? my common sense tells me i shouldn't care about her opinion because she's so insecure herself, yet i DO care.

argh i'm just fed up of this.

i know this whole post is a bit ridiculous and might piss a few people off and make me seem really self absorbed and arrogant and whatnot and perhaps i AM self absorbed because it's all i seem to think about nowadays but, because i have the advantage of being anonymous here, any self inflicted discomfort i feel (through saying things like 'yeah i was told i'm the best looking girl') cannot be seen making it easier to talk about (i.e. i don't think i could talk about this face to face with anybody)

thank you

Reply 1

Angrybanana

Some friend you've got there. Sounds like she's jealous of you. And if you're good looking, enjoy it. You don't want to be looking back when you're middle aged and your looks have faded and think "I never enjoyed being so pretty". Life is too short to obsess over that, particularly if ou don't have a problem anyway.

Reply 2

Francophobia

I feel like this much of the time as well -- a lot of people tell me that I'm beautiful, but on the other hand I get unpleasant remarks from a number of girls at my uni that lead me to believe that I'm fat and ugly, or at the very least leave me confused and bewildered.
A lot of it, I think, is due to jealousy and resentment. It's your so-called best friend who has a problem, not you; if avoiding her makes you feel better about yourself, then avoid her. In this case, your self-esteem and sense of self-worth are more important than your friendship.

Reply 3

ßlαcksωαn

No offence but could you pull the pole out of your backside?
This is all I read: "omg I am so beautiful, I am the sexiest girl in the school, people love me, but why do I have low self esteem?"
News flash! You don't have to be dog ugly to have low self esteem! dah.
You could have low self confidence for a number of reason..your up bringing, social life, past experiences, your family...it's not always to do with looks!
If it is bothering you that much perhaps talk to your parents, school counsellor or something similar.

Reply 4

andrewjh009

Exactly Blackswan and isn't it funny that none of these people have profile pics, everyone prob thinks they are boring.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

heya, i know exactly how you feel, i am constantly being given compliments, and i know im not the worst looking but i actually hate the way i look so much, and people just dont understand...they think i say i look gross for attention, but i SO dont do it for attention...like for example on a night out i will be in such a bad mood because i think i look DISGUSTING, n my m8s will b like 'oh shutup ur attention seeking, u know u look the best out of us all' WHEN I GENUINLY THINK IM DISGUSTING. one of y friends does think ive got a problem tho, as i also have an eating disorder and always think im fat, when people say im skinny, but i honestly see myself as huge. so yes, i think we have a problem lol. :frown:

but i really dont know what to do about it?! :confused:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

blackswan you're right. you don't need to be unattractive to have low self esteem, of course not, but my point was that i'm confident in every single aspect to myself apart from my appearance. i understand i sound hugely up my arse but i wanted to make the post clear and blunt, no point beating around the bush is there?

i'm glad other people here know what i mean :-) angrybanana and francophobia, thanks for that, you're right. she can't be much of a friend if she's constantly calling me fat and ugly and whatever else. i suppose it's like one of those relationships where the person you're so used to makes you feel like **** and that you can't do better eh?

anonymous 2 (and francophobia for that matter) seems we do have a problem hehe. it's just a matter of building up enough confidence to not care about those snide remarks i suppose. how to build this confidence though, i know not lol

oh and anthonyjh009, *whoooooosh*

Reply 7

Miss. B

andrewjh009

Exactly Blackswan and isn't it funny that none of these people have profile pics, everyone prob thinks they are boring.

:dito:

There aren't many girls who are completely happy and confident with their looks and OP if your complaining to (as you put it) your unattractive friend about how ugly you feel isn't going to make her feel any better is it so no wonder she isn't being nice to you.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

please don't misunderstand what i typed or suddenly put words in my mouth. i don't complain in real life to people about my low self esteem, it's not the kind of person i am. i can't even post it without being anonymous, how do you expect me to talk about this with people face to face?

i'm annoyed you've said that because i'm always being nice to her and helping her to enhance her features or complimenting her if she looks particularly nice. yet all she's ever said to me is 'that doesn't suit you, it makes you look this and that' or 'hahahah your hair looks awful today' etc.

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

Hi,i have the same problem everyone says i am really pretty, i stil beilieve i am quite ugly. I look at my oyunger isister and wish i was as pretty as her. I don't help myself like, i never wear make up, only just for going out which is not very often. I have a reason why i don't think i ma pretty, i used to suffer from bad skin, not acne of anything that seroius but my skin easily marks so i have afew marks, whihc my parents seem to think u can't see but i think they really stand out. I dunno if it just me imagning my skin being bad or wheter my parents are just being nice.

Reply 10

Angrybanana

I have an interesting reversal of this situation, whereas I think my looks range from ok-quite pretty, though most other people generally consider me to be quite homely. I wonder how common that is :confused:

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