The Student Room Group

Is it worth being friends with someone you see quite rarely

I have a friend at the moment and she has been very busy for most of the time I've known her, so much so I dont actually see much of her, like sometimes I go 2-3 months without seeing her. The thing is is that with friendship I personally have to enjoy there company, that is what I have friends for and what they are for in my view.

I do enjoy her company when I am with her and we get along great, I trust her and can tell her almost anything, we share a sense of humour and can laugh with and at each other etc. but like I say I dont get to enjoy her company that much because I rarely see her because she is always sooo busy with school and work and its making me question the purpose and point of continuing being friends with her. I have been getting into arguments with her over it recently, as I keep on getting annoyed with her.

Does anyone see the point in being friends with someone u dont see that often, what is it? Im just trying to find a alternative way of perhaps looking at it btw thanx anyway

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Reply 1
For me, yes, I'd definately stay friends. There is no doubt about it.

I've gone much longer without seeing friends but that doesn't matter! Sometimes these things happen when both people have a lot to do.
Reply 2
dAll friendships are different, so Don't burn your bridges!

Your arguing with her over this shows that you would not want her out of your life, so ask yourself one question...

Would you prefer to never see her again?
It seems like you're being a bit selfish really. You say she's a good friend etc so why not try being a good friend back and not starting arguments and accept that she's just a busy person. With a lot of school and actual work on I'd be pretty annoyed if people kept getting annoyed with me because of that.

You shouldn't be so flaky. Unless she's done anything wrong then why should you have reason to stop being friends?

Unfortunately it's not like when we were younger and we can't always go see our friends after school every day because more and more responsibilities are being placed upon us so I think it's really unfair to not be understanding towards this.
I've got lots of friends I'm lucky to see once a year, I've no intention of cutting them out of my life!! Why would you do that if you enjoy someone's company?

Weird question.
Reply 5
Firstly, I don't believe it's her fault that she's busy.

Secondly, not all relationships work better when you try to change them. Appreciate things for how they are.

I have many friends who are busy to even call eachother. And I'm sure some of my friends see the same in me too. To have so much free time on your hands that you think about such a small issue with so much thought is not healthy.

Just know that the friendship works as it is, and talking about the subject to her is not going to make anything better because it's not as if she's trying to make you feel this way.
Yeah, it's definatly worth staying friends with her. My 2 best friends go to university in completely different parts of the country from me, and we only see each other a couple of times a year, but I still value them immensely. You say you trust her and enjoy her company: what have you got to lose by keeping up the friendship.

Honestly, you can never ever have too many friends.
Reply 7
I would definitley stay friends. Friendship is a valuable and beautiful thing, and as stated above, all friendships are different. Maybe if you saw her too much that would ruin the beautiful fundamentals of this friendship, and the distance could be keeping you at just the right distance! That's just what I think, and I've been in a similar situation, and am in one now, I see the person once every 1-2 weeks and that makes me value the time we spend together and really enjoy it so everything's great! up to you to judge though.
Reply 8
1 of my good friends I saw at easter & before that I had only seen her for an hour since summer. It annoying but its just the way it goes as you get older I think. If she is genuinely busy then let it go.
Reply 9
You sound very immature here, OP. Maybe if you go out and do more stuff and get more interesting your friend will start chasing you a little more?

Heh, maybe she wants you to loosen your grip on her- I do that witha few of my "friends". It sounds nasty but one of my old friends from college has turned into a boring, weird, moany pain in the arse in recent years, so I've been distancing myself from him by being "busy" quite often whenever he asks if I want to go out somewhere...

And watch the neg reps fly in...
dumb question.

some of my best friends live far away and when i see them (rarely) its fantastic.

if your brother moved to a another country would you stop having him as your brother cuz he's not around?

silly
Definitely stay friends, there's nothing quite like seeing a friend you haven't seen in months, and talking and joking and laughing like it was only yesterday you saw them last.
I got whole heap of friends who I hardly ever see however im not just going to drop them because im not with them 24/7!

People these days have lives of their own n some tend to be more busier than others.

All I would say is jus dont worry about it and get on with what you have to do.

GD
Reply 13
One of my closest friends lives miles and miles away and I hardly ever see her....but I talk to her loads on MSN, Texts, E-mails.

We share the same hobby and many other things and this summer I am going to make a point of seeing her for at least a day and we are thinking about going away for a girly weekend!
Anonymous
I have a friend at the moment and she has been very busy for most of the time I've known her, so much so I dont actually see much of her, like sometimes I go 2-3 months without seeing her. The thing is is that with friendship I personally have to enjoy there company, that is what I have friends for and what they are for in my view.

I do enjoy her company when I am with her and we get along great, I trust her and can tell her almost anything, we share a sense of humour and can laugh with and at each other etc. but like I say I dont get to enjoy her company that much because I rarely see her because she is always sooo busy with school and work and its making me question the purpose and point of continuing being friends with her. I have been getting into arguments with her over it recently, as I keep on getting annoyed with her.

Does anyone see the point in being friends with someone u dont see that often, what is it? Im just trying to find a alternative way of perhaps looking at it btw thanx anyway


I'm in a similar situation to you - well, I have no doubts about staying friends with the friend concerned - she's awesome! Basically, we're born on the same day, get on REALLY well, same sense of humour and have a great laugh when we're together. However, I've stayed on in sixth form and she went to college, and we live quite far apart. Still, I don't let that come between us - the last time I saw her was in February and before that it was a couple of months. We're both so busy with schoolwork and other commitments but we try to meet up as much as possible. We're both going to the same uni in sept and it's going to be brilliant! :smile:

So, definitely stay friends! We can go months without seeing each other and still be as close as we were before. I think it's quite stupid to think about ending a friendship over nothing, really. 'Cos there isn't really a problem - if she can't help being busy due to schoolwork and stuff then there's not much you can do!
Reply 15
I'm also in a similar situation, only the other way around. I'm really busy most of the time (I have a family and I'm studying for a degree in literature... lots of reading). However, a friend of mine doesn't seem to understand that I can't jump whenever he wants to see me. I can't just drop my life because he has more free time than I do. I do understand that it must be frustrating for him and I can only imagine that sometimes he feels like he's being led along, but he simply cannot empathise or judge when he has no children of his own. To tell the truth, I'm getting annoyed at his getting annoyed.
Reply 16
spacecowgirl89
I'm in a similar situation to you - well, I have no doubts about staying friends with the friend concerned - she's awesome! Basically, we're born on the same day, get on REALLY well, same sense of humour and have a great laugh when we're together. However, I've stayed on in sixth form and she went to college, and we live quite far apart. Still, I don't let that come between us - the last time I saw her was in February and before that it was a couple of months. We're both so busy with schoolwork and other commitments but we try to meet up as much as possible. We're both going to the same uni in sept and it's going to be brilliant! :smile:

So, definitely stay friends! We can go months without seeing each other and still be as close as we were before. I think it's quite stupid to think about ending a friendship over nothing, really. 'Cos there isn't really a problem - if she can't help being busy due to schoolwork and stuff then there's not much you can do!


I'm the same with my friend with same sense of humor etc. She is a year younger then me but we are both capricorns and soooo similar. I last saw her in March in passing at Crufts, Never really had time to talk to her and she's been too busy to visit me at uni :frown: But we will spend plenty of time together suring the summer I hope. If I pass my driving test then it will be so much easier to go and see on for a day or something! Must remember to pass my driving test! LOL
I would definately stay friends, I have a number of friends who I don't see more than once a term. But that doesnt mean that we don't still enjoy each other's company when we meet up- we always just pick up where we left off. Often if a friendship lasts over a long time when you don't see each other it is more likely to be a true friendship.
seashellstar
I would definitely stay friends, I have a number of friends who I don't see more than once a term. But that doesnt mean that we don't still enjoy each other's company when we meet up- we always just pick up where we left off. Often if a friendship lasts over a long time when you don't see each other it is more likely to be a true friendship.


yeah, perhaps, but I guess maybe I want the enjoyment of someone's friendship rather then a true ever-lasting friendship....I dont know it just doesn't seem that simple to me, plus there are the complications that I listed above.
What else are phones and msn for? Friendships where you don't see people a lot. To enjoy someones company you have to be able to chat with them right, so if you can't chat face to face, why not chat on line or on the phone. I spend hours on msn to my mates, even those who live just downstairs.