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everything else apart from sex?

hi everyone.
so i've been in a relationship with my bf for 8 months now and in a sexual relationship for about 4...
the thing is neither of us seem to enjoy sex very much, i don't really feel much and much prefer all the stuff that comes before (fingering, oral) and my bf has NEVER cum when we've had sex.
so i guess i have a few questions:
1) am i doing something wrong if my bf doesn't seem to be climaxing? :frown:

it may be something to do with me having to stop cos it starts to hurt before he can get there, but this is usually after 40 mins or so?
2) would it be really weird if we stopped having sex and just did other stuff, i would be perfectly happy with this but i'm not so sure about my bf and it just doesn't seem normal?

sorry this is really long and muddled but i am quite confused! :frown:

thanks for any replies
xx

Reply 1

TheThirdMan

1

and it just doesn't seem normal?

You shouldnt care about what seems normal or not!

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

hi everyone.
so i've been in a relationship with my bf for 8 months now and in a sexual relationship for about 4...
the thing is neither of us seem to enjoy sex very much, i don't really feel much and much prefer all the stuff that comes before (fingering, oral) and my bf has NEVER cum when we've had sex.
so i guess i have a few questions:
1) am i doing something wrong if my bf doesn't seem to be climaxing? :frown:

it may be something to do with me having to stop cos it starts to hurt before he can get there, but this is usually after 40 mins or so?
2) would it be really weird if we stopped having sex and just did other stuff, i would be perfectly happy with this but i'm not so sure about my bf and it just doesn't seem normal?

sorry this is really long and muddled but i am quite confused! :frown:

thanks for any replies
xx

Honestly, do not worry - I'm in exactly the same position as you, and it's beginning to feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall!

What my boyfriend and I have decided to do is just take things slowly and not panic - stress makes everything 100x worse, and neither of us enjoys it if we're not relaxed. It's taking time, but we're getting somewhere :smile:

Reply 3

gRaDiUs

so long as you climax, who cares!

jokin, seriously, don't worry about it at all, when i made love to my gf, i was more concerned about makin her enjoy it. If you climax, he will too, nothin better to a guy than hearing the fruits of his labour whilst riding the resultant jaws of life

just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride

p.s. girls who care whether the guy cums are a good and rare find, he will appreciate that

Reply 4

xcathyx

thanks, that makes me feel a bit better. it's just sometimes it makes me feel so crap about myself, like i'm not good enough or attractive enough for him :frown:

Reply 5

fakeplasticsmee

8

40 mins is a long time...

Reply 6

silverbolt

19

gRaDiUs

p.s. girls who care whether the guy cums are a good and rare find, he will appreciate that

yep, we hear all too often how women never climax and its a mans fault, but it is nice when a woman worries about a guys pleasure to.

fakeplasticsmee

40 mins is a long time...

not really :wink:

OP a lot of it is probably stress youve now got it in your head that you cant climx during penatrive sex its something you need to get out of your head

talk to your bf about it see if you can spice it up so its more erotic

Reply 7

Killer7

40 minutes and he hasn't come? … There’s something wrong with him. If all and well, he should come in like 2 minutes and he’d make you come! If he is good, although I doubt it… 40 minutes? :eek:

Not to brag or anything but my gf come's in like 2-5 minute's.

Reply 8

LauraJayne

Anonymous

2) would it be really weird if we stopped having sex and just did other stuff, i would be perfectly happy with this but i'm not so sure about my bf and it just doesn't seem normal?

Course it wouldn't seem weird.

You've always got to go with what feels best for you. If you'd be perfectly happy with stopping the sex, but still having a physical relationship, then you should go for it :]

There's no point doing something if you'd be happier not doing it.

x

Reply 9

Anthonyjm71

9

fakeplasticsmee

40 mins is a long time...

for me 4mins but wouldn't mind to last even for 20mins :p:

Reply 10

silverbolt

19

Killer7

40 minutes and he hasn't come? … There’s something wrong with him. If all and well, he should come in like 2 minutes and he’d make you come! If he is good, although I doubt it… 40 minutes? :eek:

Not to brag or anything but my gf come's in like 2-5 minute's.

the average is 3-5 minutes which is partly why many women dont orgasm through penatrative sex. Thers nothing really wrong with him not reaching orgasm in 40 minutes, if it something hes doing deliberately its called self discipline, if hes trying to climax but cant then its probably something in his mind thats screwing him up so his body wont respond (pun not intended)

Oh and what does how quickly it takes for your partner to orgasm have to do with anything, that sounds exactly like bragging

everything else apart from sex?

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