The Student Room Group

Never Had Proper Bf!!!

Heya,

Is it me or has any other girlie in here never had a proper bf, meanin a boyfriend who isnt all about sex sex sex?? Had a boyfriend but that was 2years ago n all is was was sex, never was taken places, treated or anything!

Been single for nearly 2years and all I can manage to get is being tricked into relationships which blokes to me so say will work, do the business and then i get kicked to the curb!??!

Comments n thoughts, appreciated

GD:cool:
Reply 1
This question gets answered 1000 times everyday, do a search for them rather then making yet another one.
Reply 2
I've never had a 'proper' boyfried full stop.

No need to stress.
Reply 3
I think your problem is getting into a relationship with someone too quick, if you waited then you would realise that the person is only after one thing, and thwey would lose interest really quick.
So if you see a guy you like, be patient and see if he is willing to wait, if he can wait then it isn't all about sex.
Reply 4
maybe if you didnt give it up right away theyd have a reason to stick around. let them get to know you before you just go ahead and do it.
Reply 5
Yea but you see that's it - I dont do the business straight away, I do wait a while so I dont kno where im going wrong!!!! Maybe I should get a lock n key for my ''laydee garden'' n see what happens then!
Reply 6
Gloucesterdancer
Yea but you see that's it - I dont do the business straight away, I do wait a while so I dont kno where im going wrong!!!! Maybe I should get a lock n key for my ''laydee garden'' n see what happens then!

Yes do that, make them wait a few months and if they bug you or anythingabout having sex, its a bad sign.
Maybe you dish sex out too easily for them to take you seriously?
Reply 8
Laces
Maybe you dish sex out too easily for them to take you seriously?


Fair comment.
Reply 9
HeadShock
Yes do that, make them wait a few months and if they bug you or anythingabout having sex, its a bad sign.


A few months is a long time. Not many guys could go that long and not sugest sex.
I agree with what you are trying to say but just because he asks for sex doesn't mean that he doesn't want a serious relationship.
If a guy doesn't ask for sex after 3 months if she hasn't made her feelings on the matter clear to him that is, then something is wrong with him.
Reply 10
I've never had a proper boyfriend. Had someone for 3 months but that was lust and discovery more than anything - no sex. That was a few months ago and hoping to ask out my crush of 2 years soon. Fingers crossed
Ozy
If a guy doesn't ask for sex after 3 months if she hasn't made her feelings on the matter clear to him that is, then something is wrong with him.

:rolleyes:
Reply 12
Ozy
A few months is a long time. Not many guys could go that long and not sugest sex.
I agree with what you are trying to say but just because he asks for sex doesn't mean that he doesn't want a serious relationship.
If a guy doesn't ask for sex after 3 months if she hasn't made her feelings on the matter clear to him that is, then something is wrong with him.

NO ACTUALLLY, he could just respect you and your body.
Reply 13
To be honest, I'd be a little worried if a new boyfriend didn't want to have sex with me straight away! I'm not saying I would or wouldn't let that happen, just that I'd be surprised if nothing was said. :confused:

If you're constantly falling for the wrong sort of men, you should maybe have a word with some of your close friends. By now, they should be able to tell if a potential guy you're interested in is just like all of the others you've dated, and warn you off him.

I think some people end up forming a certain 'type' in their head, and only go for people who fit it. Problem is, if your type is a bit of a loser. Don't only go after men who tick certain boxes, because chances are, you'll realise those aren't the boxes you actually care about.

I wouldn't ordinarily advise getting your friends to pick any potential love matches, but if you're not great at discerning the good guys from the scum, a little bit of help in the beginning isn't a bad thing. Your friends love you and know you, and they're not going to push you into a relationship with a jackass.

And don't worry - the right guy will come along eventually. It's not necessarily a great thing having a proper boyfriend, anyway. I've recently fallen in love with the most wonderful man ever, which has completely screwed up my plans to be an independant career woman when I graduate in June. Instead of looking forward to starting an amazing job away from here, I'm now kicking myself every single day for not applying for an amazing job here where he lives. I just didn't plan to fall in love...

Being single has its advantages. Enjoy it while you can! :biggrin:
shona
To be honest, I'd be a little worried if a new boyfriend didn't want to have sex with me straight away! I'm not saying I would or wouldn't let that happen, just that I'd be surprised if nothing was said. :confused:

If you're constantly falling for the wrong sort of men, you should maybe have a word with some of your close friends. By now, they should be able to tell if a potential guy you're interested in is just like all of the others you've dated, and warn you off him.

I think some people end up forming a certain 'type' in their head, and only go for people who fit it. Problem is, if your type is a bit of a loser. Don't only go after men who tick certain boxes, because chances are, you'll realise those aren't the boxes you actually care about.

I wouldn't ordinarily advise getting your friends to pick any potential love matches, but if you're not great at discerning the good guys from the scum, a little bit of help in the beginning isn't a bad thing. Your friends love you and know you, and they're not going to push you into a relationship with a jackass.

And don't worry - the right guy will come along eventually. It's not necessarily a great thing having a proper boyfriend, anyway. I've recently fallen in love with the most wonderful man ever, which has completely screwed up my plans to be an independant career woman when I graduate in June. Instead of looking forward to starting an amazing job away from here, I'm now kicking myself every single day for not applying for an amazing job here where he lives. I just didn't plan to fall in love...

Being single has its advantages. Enjoy it while you can! :biggrin:


Thank you for tht, tht has made me think twice and realise other factors!!!

Ta GD:biggrin:
Reply 15
minimo
NO ACTUALLLY, he could just respect you and your body.


Yeah, I'm all for that. But if he askes, she says no and he waits, surely that proves it.
But to not mention it at all, wouldn't you find that a bit strange, possibly sugesting a lack of interest or attraction?
Reply 16
Well I've never had a proper gf and, as luck would have it, I live in Gloucester so there are people out there just like you - just give it time